fandomtownies | Dite's Decadent Delights, Sunday

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Dite's Decadent Delights, Sunday

The part of the store with the chairs and the paintings had been blocked off, with a solid wall and a door. The door had a sign that said Please knock before entering. Not that anything was going on in the room at the moment.

Aphrodite, a prim set of golden glasses perched on her nose, was busy at the desk. She was writing, making scribbles on a piece of paper, before erasing them and rewriting. After a moment, she pushed her glasses up and raised the paper in front of Hercules.

"There. What do you think?"

Herc glanced at the paper, then continued his all important washing of his paws.

"That enthused, huh?"

More scribbling, more paper being thrown behind her, more erasing.

'Dite's Decadent Delights is open.

(ooc: Post is open, but I'm on SP until this evening -- off to a soccer game! Mmm... soccer....)

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After her discussion with Max about love, Raven decided it made sense to go to the expert. So Sunday afternoon she stopped by Decadent Delights in hopes of finding Aphrodite there. "Lady Aphrodite?" she said. "Do you have a moment to speak to me?"

Aphrodite looked up quickly, taking her glasses off. When she saw who it was, she smiled brightly.

"Raven! Of course I have time for you!" She picked up a cardboard sign and set it up on the counter. It said, The Goddess is IN, but Aphrodite carefully slid a tiny card into place that changed, IN to BUSY.

Looking back at Raven, she smiled again. "Come on. I just finished fixing up the new room this morning. You'll be the first person to see it!"

And she led the way through the door into the side room, sending a small zap of power out to close the blinds to the windows.

The three portraits of Aphrodite by Susan Boulet looked out over the two comfy chairs. "What d'you think?"

"The portraits are lovely," Raven said, though she blushed a little and averted her eyes from the one with the clam shell. "Did you inspire the artist, or are they an interpretation?"

She had been talking about the room itself, but the paintings definitely drew the eye.

"Interpretation, but . . ." she shrugged a little. "I suppose in a long way around you could say I inspired her." Her smile was a cross between smug and beatific.

"Have a seat, Raven. Would you like some tea or something? I have an excellent apple spice blend."

"Tea would be delightful, yes," Raven said, taking a seat in one of the chairs. "I like what you have done with this room. It has a very cozy feel to it."

Next to the chairs was the same coffee table, and with a wave of Aphrodite's hand, a tray appeared, with a tea pot, a sugar bowl, and two cups.

"Feel free to pour." 'Dite closed the door behind her. "I'm glad you like the room. I wanted it to feel comfortable. Because," she sat down, beaming at Raven, "I'm going to start offering counseling sessions. Isn't that a great idea?"

Raven poured herself a cup, then filled Aphrodite's as well. "It is a wonderful idea," Raven said. "Especially as that is why I wished to speak to you today. I am unfamiliar with the different types of love and find them confusing."

"Different types of love." Aphrodite picked up her cup, then tilted her head. "Well, there's all kinds, really. Brotherly love, sisterly love, love of self, love for a pet, familial love, unconditional love, jealous love . . . what kind of love is confusing for you?"

"Romantic love," Raven said, ducking her head and blushing. "And how some are able to separate it from...the act of love."

"The act of love? Oh, you mean sex." 'Dite grinned. "Raveeeen. Have you been nau--" She paused.

Romantic love. One eyebrow rose. Separate it from.

Her smile faded. "Huh. Interesting question." She sipped her tea. "I'm guessing it's not just . . . what's the word . . . theo-hetical, or something like that?" She hated the big words Freud used.

"Sex, yes," Raven said. Cue more blushing, but at least it was easier to talk with Aphrodite than Max. "I am unused to all emotions -- before I came to Fandom I was taught to suppress them all, including love. Here I have learned friendship, but my one experience with romantic love was not a pleasant one in the end."

Her dismay was, she hoped, covered by a long sip of apple spice tea.

She thought for a long moment before answering. "I'd really like to know what happened. Partly because it might help you to tell someone, and partly because," Aphrodite shrugged, "I have to admit I'm curious. But you don't have to. Not if you're not comfortable yet."

Another sip. "You were taught to suppress all your emotions? Everything?"

Raven nodded. "Those of Azarath, my home, purged themselves of emotions long ago," she said. "My mother was of Earth, but I was raised in Azarath." She left out the part about the fear that her demonic heritage made others fear that her father would control her through her emotions, for now at least, because she wasn't sure if a goddess of love would appreciate a half-demon in her employee. "I was taught to control and deny all emotions, anger, hate...even love and joy."

She took a sip of her tea to collect herself. "You remember when Dinah and I fell unconscious in the store? I do not know how much you know of what happened to us, but we were transported to another Fandom where vampires controlled the island. My experiences there were not good and left me somewhat damaged. A boy at the school sought to comfort me, and I confused love with lust. He had no true feelings for me despite what I thought."

"You confused . . ." Aphrodite let out a breath. It was at moments like this that she almost understood her brother.

Taking a moment to calm herself, she poured more tea in her cup, but then set the cup aside. Folding her hands, she focused on Raven.

"Raven, the first thing I want to tell you is that no emotion is wrong. Whatever you're feeling is yours, and you should guard that as you would a prized possession. Now that you have them, now that you've felt them, don't ever let anyone take them away from you again. Because someone without emotion is someone who can't love. And maybe I'm biased, but I think a life without being able to love, really isn't much of a life."

She waited for a moment, not only to see if Raven would respond, but also to let a new mantra pass through her mind.

I will not ask who, I will not ask who, I will not ask . . .

"Now that I have tasted emotions, I do not think I could go back to no longer feeling them," Raven agreed. "Some of them frighten me, but others are so wondrous. What I thought was love was so euphoric until I realized that that it was only sex that Chuck wanted, and then it hurt so much. I had resolved not to experience love again for fear of being hurt like that, but I have been told that is perhaps unwise."

Chuck

She caught the name, of course she did, and filed it deep down to dwell on later.

"Well, this is the second thing I want you to know. What happened was not your fault, Raven. You had no previous knowledge to guide you, no understanding of what you were feeling, or what the consequences of your actions might be. You did nothing wrong." She put on a determined face. "Now, repeat after me, 'I did nothing wrong.'"

"I did nothing wrong," Raven murmured. "Though I felt foolish and angry at myself afterward. I was able to forgive Chuck, for I do not believe he was being malicious, just thoughtless, but I do not trust him anymore. And I am having difficulty trusting myself as well, since I misread his intentions so drastically."

"Sweet Pea, you can't read anyone's intentions until you learn to understand their feelings. And I don't care if you can read what they're feeling, you won't understand what you've read, until you can understand what you feel."

Aphrodite leaned back against the chair. "You told me that you confused love with lust, and earlier you asked about people who could separate romantic love from the act of love. I can try to explain, but it'll take a little while. And I want you to stop me if you get lost, okay?"

"Yes, thank you," Raven said. "I am not certain I can -- or want to -- separate them, but I am told many people do so, and I would like to understand how or why."

The goddess of love nodded, then took a deep breath.

"Okay, the first thing you need to understand is that most love has to do with intimacy. The dictionary defines intimacy as a close relationship or a close and amorous act, and that's fine, but in my opinion it really doesn't say anything. Intimacy is about how much of yourself you'll share with another person. Not physically, emotionally. Like, this is an intimate setting; you're sharing a part of yourself, your experience with me."

Aphrodite checked for a moment to see if Raven was still with her. When she didn't see obvious signs of confusion, she continued.

"There are levels to intimacy, levels to how much of yourself you'll share. The amount a child may share with a parent can be vastly different than what they'll share with a friend, which again is different than how much a person will share with a lover. When you," she had to force herself to say the words, "had sex with Chuck," and another breath, "you shared a part of yourself with him. He -- chose not to do so. Can you understand that?"

Raven nodded. "I understand that," she said. "Now. But how do I know if someone truly wishes to share that with me? Perhaps in time I will become better at telling the difference between someone who truly loves me and someone who just seeks the pleasures of the flesh, but until then I do not wish to make the same mistake."

Yes, maybe she did expect it to be easy.

"It takes time to achieve intimacy, and for some people," she shrugged, "sex is just sex and not intimate at all. And that's what you need to understand." Aphrodite leaned forward. "Look, I told you that love has to do with intimacy. Sex? Doesn't. And that's what you need to remember." She reached for her cup and sipped.

"For people like you, or Dinah, or any number of your friends, sex may be very intimate, and that's why they choose to wait. For others? It's just -- sex. It's a way to achieve orgasm, which feels good. And there's nothing more to it.

"Now, I can't condemn those people. I'll admit, I've done it, too. Sex can be just -- sex." She smiled, her expression a little dreamy. "But when there's intimacy involved, when you care about the other person and know they care about you . . . there's nothing like it on Olympus or all earth."

"I think I would like to feel that way for real," Raven said slowly. "And not a delusion. But I am afraid to try, for fear that I will only be hurt again, and this time I might not be able to control my temper." She paused, biting at her lower lip. "The sex was very nice, but without the emotion I think I would find it empty."

"That . . . is entirely possible. And not such a bad thing."

She still wanted to strangle this Chuck.

"To feel that way for real, Raven, it takes a lot of time and effort. You need to spend time with the person, learn about them, find out what makes them happy, what they want out of life, let them know the same about you. It's not an overnight thing. Intimacy is seldom fast, it's a slow process. For instance, think of a close friend here at Fandom. Then think of how long it took you to trust that friend with a secret, with a part of who you are. That's intimacy -- and you should feel just as safe and intimate, even more so, with a lover, as you do with a friend."

Setting her cup aside, she folded her hands. "Have I made any sense to you?"

"Yes, you have made sense," Raven said, mulling over Aphrodite's words. "It seems I must have some amount of faith and trust in the other person before I allow myself intimacy." Her brow furrowed. "What about kissing? Is that supposed to be as intimate?"

The question made Aphrodite smile. "Kissing can be intimate, but it doesn't have to be. There are as many ways to kiss as there are reasons to kiss. You can kiss your friend on her cheek, a mother can kiss her child on the head, or you can kiss your lover on the lips." Not to mention other places.

"A long session of kissing can be pleasant and lead to deeper intimacy. It doesn't always have to lead to sex, but it can. And it's also a good way to find out if you enjoy someone's touch. If his kiss makes you want to go farther, that's sometimes a good sign." She frowned and tilted her head. "But then again, that doesn't mean you should go farther. But it's good if you want to."

There. That should be nice and confusing for Raven.

"I see," Raven said. (No, she didn't, not really.) "So I should start with that before deciding on further intimacy."

"Yes." She was glad Raven had gotten . . . what little part she'd gotten. "Intimacy is a hard thing to understand, Raven. My suggestion is that you spend time with your friends, all types of friends, and start with considering how you feel about them. How do you feel when they're around? Why do you enjoy being with them? Which one of them knows you the best, and why did you feel safe enough with them to show them who you are? Then you can start thinking about looking for that and more with someone."

"I should not rush things," Raven agreed, nodding. "No matter how much I wish that feeling again. I need to be certain before I share myself in such a way."

Aphrodite nodded. "I think that's a good decision. At some point you may decide just to have sex for the sake of having sex, but I can't see you doing that right now, and I don't think you should try that anytime soon. So, yes. Waiting will be good."

For a moment, the goddess considered. "Raven . . . are you okay with working in the store? I mean, you're a great employee, and you're more than welcome here, but -- after what happened, I don't want you to be scared or nervous here in the store."

Embarrassment was fine. Fright was something else.

"I am sometimes confused," Raven admitted, "but not frightened. There are many things to be scared of, but I do not think items designed to induce or increase pleasure should be among them."

Except maybe the whips. Or things with spikes.

"Good. I wouldn't want it to bother you."

She reached for her cup again. "Is there anything else you want to talk about? Or do you want to think about things for a while? The door is always open, you know."

"I cannot think of anything at the moment," Raven said. She finished her tea and set the cup down. "But I will surely come to you if I have more questions. And I thank you for your guidance."

"Well, I hope I helped, and I'm always here if you need me." She stood up slowly. "And Raven? Keep me informed, okay? Just let me know how you're doing. I'll be thinking about you."

And wondering who Chuck is.

Considering there were now two Chucks at the school, hopefully 'Dite would pick the right one if she decided to take matters into her own hands.

"Thank you," Raven said, rising to her feet as well. "And if you have need of me to help out, please let me know."

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Dite's Decadent Delights, Sunday

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