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Dite's Decadent Delights, Tuesday Afternoon

Raven was running a little late (which she totally blamed on being distracted by being emo about a boy) when the time came to head to work, so she teleported herself to the store instead of walking, which could be why certain people in the back room didn't hear her come in.

She flipped the sign to "Open," scritched Hercules, and tried to remember where she'd tucked away the book she'd been reading. Purely for research, of course.

[Minor OCD ~~on the way~~ is up!]

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"Okay, but you just said you did not have control over her body." 'Dite knew that Raven had used the word 'our' but she had a point to make here. "So when exactly did you have control? What was happening at that exact moment? When you took over that body?"

"I was with her when Profes-...when he took her," Raven said. "I experienced what he did as much as she did. It was not until the next day when I became able to control our -- her -- body. He was...." She swallowed and continued, hugging her arms around herself and trembling slightly. "He was proving his mastery over me. I resisted, but that only amused him. I almost became as lost as my other self were it not for the training Professor Skywalker had given me. I was eventually able to focus and shield myself pain and pleasure the vampire was forcing me to feel. I was only able to escape him because it was daylight outside. If it had been night, I know I surely would have fallen to him again."

"So, you were 'there' when he took her, but it wasn't until the following day that you actually crossed and were there and in control, right?" She nodded, trying to find the words to point out what she didn't think Raven had noticed.

"That means that the body you were suddenly transported into had already been tortured for a full day. You might not have experienced it all, but it happened. The body was already weakened when you were given control. And with your training you were able to take that already weakened body and break free." Aphrodite held up her hand in case Raven wanted to interrupt. "Daytime or night doesn't matter. You resisted, you fought, you escaped. You did that. Whatever else came after, for that moment, right then, you were strong. And I think you need to focus on that."

"We all have our weak times, and we need to deal with them and move on. Even me." The goddess sighed, looking away for a quiet moment before turning back. "There's probably a lot that you need to look at from what happened to you there, bad and good, and there are many lessons to learn from it. But you can't dwell on all of the mistakes. You learn from them and move on, while holding your triumphs close to remind yourself that you can be strong. And I think that's your starting point. This one moment of strength."

"I wish I could see it that way," Raven said. "But...the damage had been done. What he did to me changed me. I have done things I find shameful. I have tried to put it behind me and just forget." The ostrich theory, unfortunately, was not entirely successful.

"Try . . . to see it that way." 'Dite tilted her head. "Sure, the damage was done, you were changed, but you did get away. And you might have done things you find shameful, but haven't you also done things you feel good about? You're a healer. Are you saying you haven't at least tried to heal people? Healing is something to be proud of as well."

"As far forgetting it and putting it behind you? You can't. You shouldn't. Not the good, and not the bad. Because we learn from our past, we are formed by our past, and if we try to deny it we'll have to re-experience it to learn our lesson."

"Raven, whatever happens, I'm here if you want to talk further about this, and I think you should. I think you need to. Know why I think that?"

"Why do you think that?" Raven said softly. It felt strange talking to Aphrodite about all this because she was the goddess of love, not pain and sorrow. Not a bad strange, but she couldn't help but feel guilty.

She looked into Raven's eyes, trying to express her support as well as her concern. "Because when you talk about what happened, you call the vampire Professor Maximus. You can't seem to separate the man you're working with from the man who hurt you. And if you can't separate them, and you're afraid of that Maximus, which means you're afraid of this one. And how can you truly learn from someone you're terrified of?"

Raven shook her head. "I know they are separate. Karla killed the vampire, she told me so. But I think perhaps I am a little afraid that Professor Maximus could one day become like the vampire and...overwhelm me again." She bit her lip, then added in a small voice, "And I think part of me wants that."

And that? Was the goddess of love fighting not to flail. This was officially completely beyond what she had expected, completely beyond what she'd been prepared for.

But this was Raven. And the last thing Aphrodite would do is let the girl flounder by herself.

She bit her lip for a long moment before responding. "If he . . . mixed pain and pleasure to overwhelm you, I'm not surprised you feel that way. Pleasure can be . . . addictive." 'Dite hesitated. "Have you told Max about this fear of yours?"

"No," Raven said. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to center herself. "He already feels guilty enough about something he did not do. I do not wish to add to it. He does not deserve that."

"I think . . . you should tell him. Because if something ever happens, if you become . . . frightened, overwhelmed, he should know why. And he'll know how to react without making things worse."

The question of why Max would feel guilty for something he didn't do flitted through Aphrodite's mind, but she put it away to look at it later.

"I really want to encourage you to talk more about this. Not the general stuff like you've given me, but the details. How you felt, what you remember thinking, what he said, everything. Because the more you look at it, the less it'll frighten you. And the more you'll be able to deal with . . . what you really want." That was the least direct way she could think of to deal with what Raven had confessed. Because that was another two or three hours of conversation, at least.

"And again, if you'd like to talk to me, I'm available. Always. Okay?"

"I will consider discussing it with him," Raven said. Really, she'd give it a few moments thought and then decide not to, most likely. "And I thank you for your concern. Perhaps you are right, perhaps talking about it with you more might be helpful. I will consider that as well." That was more likely, given that she had admitted to Aphrodite that she still craved sensation. She'd only told that to Karla before this point.

"You do that. When you're ready, I'll be here." Carefully, she reached over and patted Raven's hand one last time. "Oh, and before I forget again, would you be interested in catching a shift this weekend, on Saturday? Not here at the store; I'm thinking of setting up a booth at the Market day Fandom is having. Care to join me?"

"I will have to see when I will be free," Raven said. "I have plans to see my friend Jonothon and practice working together with our abilities, but once I am finished with that perhaps I can join you."

"Oh, that's fine; practice is more important anyway. If you end up dropping by, great; if not, don't worry about it. Just thought I'd offer."

Aphrodite straightened up, stretching a little. "Now, if you don't mind, I'll leave you to it. Have fun today, okay? I'll talk to you soon, Raven."

With a smile she *zapped* herself out of the store, leaving only a glowing outline that slowly melted away.

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Dite's Decadent Delights, Tuesday Afternoon

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