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Dite's Decadent Delights, Monday

For a battle with a goddess, it really hadn't been epic. Yesterday, after an initial attack by the gremlins, Aphrodite had countered with a love bomb made out of a vibrator, a roll of bondage tape, some rechargeable batteries, and a blown up condom filled with water and a touch of one of her love potions. After sending it floating down the vent, she'd waited to hear the explosion, and smiled widely when she did.

Things had been quiet for several hours after, during which she'd found a way to keep the vent coverings from being pried off.

Which didn't help any when the gremlins shook off their stupor and found a new way into the store. They'd first chased Hercules, then shot the goddess of love with a pair of edible undies before swinging across the store by way of several clothing racks and disappearing into a hole in the floorboards in the back of the store.

It wasn't until near to closing that 'Dite had noticed several of her best selling lingerie items, including a number of brassieres, had been stolen by the little ~~tykes~~ creeps.

But that was last night, and today she was boarding up the new hole in back, muttering about tiny green thieves. Hercules had been left in the hotel suite today, so she was alone in the store, and she learned very quickly that being alone meant there was no one there to meow at her when she was being stalked. Using a stolen brassiere, a gremlin swung across the ceiling, managing to send several condom bombs at the goddess before scrambling back inside the re-opened vent.

After wiping the edible goo from her face, Aphrodite realized the gremlin had had a lollipop in its mouth. When she checked, sure enough, the entire case of chocolate penis pops was gone, with several chewed up sticks on the floor nearby.

"Those vermin! I'm going to round them all up and send them to Ares' temple on Mount Olympus!"

But she'd have to catch them first. Right after she fixed her -- *SPLAT* -- hair. Again.

~~The war zone~~ Dite's Decadent Delights is open. Watch for flying gremlins.

(ooc: Day Two of the battle is underway! All battles will take place in the store, and anyone coming into the store can expect to get hit with anything from a loaded condom to edible underwear -- you never know! This battle will last until Wednesday, or possibly Thursday night and is meant to be something fun for any townies who get bored while the students are away. Today there will be early morning SP, and an OCD ~~will go up~~ is up! If nothing else, I will amuse myself this week.)

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Come talk to 'Dite and help her fight a gremlin!

Elena certainly had plenty of free time, this week, and she also remembered what the woman at the shop had said last time -- to come back and get some things for herself.

Conveniently, she actually had a sex life, now. This island was awesome like that.

What she wasn't expecting, as she opened the door, was to be hit right in the face with a neon-pink flogger.

Elena ducked, and looked for cover. And wondered what the hell was going on, here.

(I hope this is not too late to drop in?)

"Stinkin' -- rotten -- vermin!" 'Dite shook her fist at the retreating gremlin and retrieved the flogger before smiling at Elena.

"Hi. Welcome back! Excuse me."

She turned and fired a love bolt at a hiding gremlin, who fell over, a lovesick expression on his face. Aphrodite dusted her hands and turned back to Elena.

"What can I do for you?"

(never too late!)

"Do you need help?" Elena asked, instinctively reaching for her gun. Thinking better of it, she pulled back her sleeve, wondering what materia she had with her. Oooh, Seal. Always handy. "I'm gonna guess those freaks aren't mascots."

"Mascots from Hades, maybe." 'Dite glared at the still down gremlin. "These sneaky little green guys attacked an innocent cat last Friday, and yesterday they got paint in my hair!" She swept a blonde curl away from her face. "And they ate my penis pops!"

"They attack cats?" Elena said, eyes widening. Maybe she'd rethink the gun. "They didn't hurt it, did they?"

Anyone trying that with Rookie was going to get shot.

In the meantime, she lifted her arm, focused on one particular gremlin who appeared to be rubbing a DVD on his butt -- and brought her hand down in a quick diagonal.

There was a flash of green light before the gremlin toppled over, fast asleep.

"... You have penis pops?"

"Nice shot!" She nodded in approval at Elena. "Herc is okay, but they made him think he was a statue and now he's paranoid about his tail, poor guy.

"And I had chocolate penis pops. But now they're gone. Little cretins!"

She waved a hand towards the two dazed gremlins on the floor and they both disappeared. Aphrodite turned to Elena with a satisfied smirk. "Now, what can I do for you?"

"Shame, those would've been fun," Elena laughed. "I was just stopping in to browse, mostly. Maybe pick up more condoms. Although ..."

She bit her lip, trying to talk herself out of the rest, and failing.

"I need something incredible to wear under a slinky black dress," she said. "So that ... even if he never sees it, at least I'll know how hot I look and I'll sit there going, pfft, you wish you were tearing this off."

Aphrodite glanced sadly at her depleted lingerie racks. Then she folded her arms and looked at the catalogs on her counter.

"Oh, what the heck? If I can't do something nice for a fellow gremlin fighter, then what good is it to be the goddess of love? Come on."

Sending a glare at the still calm vent she moved to the other side of the display case and flipped open the catalog. "Something under a slinky black dress, hm? Are we talking lacy brassiere or a corset with a garter belt?"

"Ouch, they did a number on your stock," she frowned, following along with a shake of her head. "You'd think someone in this town would sell Fucked-Up Insurance, for when things get trashed for completely insane reasons."

She glanced at the catalog. "Maybe the latter?" she said. "I'm so bad at this. When it's some guy at a bar, I can pick him up, no sweat. This guy just makes me into a complete moron."

Blurting out confidential information, in front of the enemy? Way to impress the boss, there.

"Oooh, sounds like he's a special kind of guy." She winked at Elena. "Well, let's see if we can't find something to knock his socks off -- if he gets to see it."

She flipped the page, then turned the book to show Elena. "Now, this is a great corset (http://www.amazon.com/Dreamgirl-Womens-Black-Affair-Corset/dp/B0014CJUY0/ref=sr_1_31?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1255409187&sr=1-31), comes with ruffly panties and silk stockings. With the fringe up top and the chainlike garters, this one is meant to remind you that you're wearing something really sexy. And it definitely is that."

Looking at Elena, 'Dite tilted her head. "But you miiiiight want to consider something else, something a little more . . . understated?" Thumbing to a different area of the catalog she showed her another picture. " This one (http://www.amazon.com/Shirley-Hollywood-Womens-Multi-Ribbon-Chemise/dp/B001PO6MKC/ref=pd_sbs_a_7) is designed to make you feel like you're really not wearing anything. And with this? You might as well not be." Her eyebrow rose flirtatiously.

"He is," Elena said, hating that she was blushing at that. "He usually sees me at work, so I want to ... show up and remind him I'm not just some girl wearing a suit."

She considered both of the options. "I love the garters-with-silk stockings approach," she said. "I lean more to understated, except I think that one I'd feel like he could see it and keep blushing."

She sighed. "I never know what's too understated and what's too over-the-top. Like ..." She leaned over, her eye catching on one of the designs. "Like this (http://www.lingeriediva.com/bustiers/elegant-satin-sequin-lace-bustier-set)?" she said. "Do you think that would get his attention?"

Tseng was going to be difficult. She needed ammunition.

"Sweet Pea, he's male. Anything in this catalog will grab his attention."

Hearing noise in the vent, she turned, sending a power bolt into the darkness beyond. There was a yelp, then scampering feet. "Hah."

She turned back to Elena, then cocked her head. "And I think that one's actually perfect for you -- clean lines, great design, and more than enough to catch his eye."

"If he ever sees it," Elena added. "You don't know the boss. He's male, but ... if he came back to his desk and found three barely-legal girls with big boobs mud-wrestling naked, he'd be upset that they ruined his paperwork."

And probably convinced Reno put them there, for that matter.

Aphrodite couldn't help but smile. "You're . . . seducing your boss? Oooooh! You naughty girl, you."

Still grinning, she put her chin in her hand and looked frankly at Elena. "If he's really as bad as you say, I could probably help. I have a perfume that . . . well, it would remind him that he's male and you're . . . not." She winked.

"I'm trying to," Elena grinned. "It's not going that well, so far."

Tseng had had years to work on his reserve. Undoing that wasn't going to be easy.

She bit her lip, at the next idea. "Does it ..." Her eyes narrowed as she fumbled for words. "I don't want it if it ... makes him feel things he doesn't, or think that he does."

Considering a recent conversation she'd had about something similar, Aphrodite took the concern much more seriously than she might have previously.

"I didn't make it. It's not something that has to do with my power. It's not magical. It's just . . . perfume. But it's an ancient scent, something very feminine without being too flowery." She smiled. "You just . . . don't strike me as a really flowery type of girl."

"I'm not," she admitted with a laugh. "So it's just a little reminder that he needs to stop being so professional and listen to his hormones? Can I smell it?"

"Absolutely!" She started to lead the way, but stopped as chittering started from the vent. "Umm.... let me get that for you."

With a small zap she was holding a small glass bottle. "Here. Try that."

Elena took the bottle carefully, unscrewing the lid and trying not to spill any of the contents. She lifted the stopper up to her nose, sniffing lightly, then smiled.

"Oh, I like that," she said. "It's .... feminine but not frilly."

One of the undertones -- musk, maybe? -- was amazingly sexy. Not too overpowering, not aggressive, just -- confident, somehow?

Edited 2009-10-15 03:26 (UTC)

"Thought that would be good for you." Aphrodite's smile was almost a smirk. "I will admit it was divinely inspired; temple priestesses wore it in Egypt."

She pointed at the catalog page. "So, you like that last one best? I can do that, if you want."

"Temple priestesses knew how to get a guy's attention," Elena laughed. "And yes, that last one. I'm going to need all the help I can get."

Seriously. Dite had no idea.

"Our ... kind-of-date isn't for a while yet, so there's no rush on the order," she added. "And ... thanks."

"Anytime, Sweet Pea." Taking a pencil, she circled the picture. "I'll get you a smaller bottle of the perfume, and get this ordered for you. Two weeks should do it."

Throwing a glance at the vent, she frowned. "You might want to head out. Sounds like there's a new attack coming."

Or, try to, as you duck below the counter.

There are plenty of things to throw -- just try not to get bit!

I will not end the world today, I will not end the world today, I will not end the world today . . .

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Dite's Decadent Delights, Monday

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OOC