Wellspring Arms [all day]

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

Biff was running late. His stupid strawberries took longer to harvest than he thought they would.

And as he sat down behind the counter, he realized that the blueberries he'd planted would all be dead before his shift was over.

There was a cranky Biff ready to be annoying at you, should you show up today.

Comments

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

Jim walked into the pointy stick store and shook his head at Biff. "There were foxes all over your farm. You have to take better care of it."

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

Biff snickered. "I had to chase crows out of yours," Biff said. "Spring for a scarecrow, cheapass."

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Hey, it's not my fault I don't have fifteen dollars. My cows were thirsty. They needed water," Jim said.

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"Then buy a lake," Biff said. "It's the size of a puddle anyway. Have these people never heard of scale?"

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Now, let's be fair," Jim said. "Scale means nothing. A chicken is as big as a person's head, which is the size of the rest of their body."

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"And I could totally fit under that rest tent," Biff said, laughing.

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Hey, that rest tent is probably the size of a room in one of the houses," Jim pointed out.

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"Which is twice the size of the cows," Biff said.

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"You'd get some great beef from those cows if you could do anything but milk them," Jim said.

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"And the pink ones creep me out," Biff shared.

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Why? Just because some mad scientist farmer bred a cow with a strawberry?" Jim asked.

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"A strawberry the size of one of the ducks," Biff said.

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Of course you're going to use a mutant strawberry for that kind of breeding," Jim said. "A normal strawberry isn't able to be crossed with a cow."

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"And there's a mental image that will haunt me," Biff said. "Thanks."

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Sorry, but mad farm science is what it is," Jim said.

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"I guess those farmers have to be doing something while they're waiting for the crops to grow when I'm still too poor to get him a house," Biff decided.

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"The tent gives them the perfect cover, too," Jim said. "Just hide everything under the chair and he's set."

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"Or he could use that useless picnic table for something," Biff said, Ideas starting to form in his mind.

Biff, no.

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"What kind of something?" Jim asked.

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"I haven't figured that out yet," Biff said, "but I think the black sheep might be involved."

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"That makes sense," Jim said. "These guys are the black sheep of the farmer community."

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

Biff groaned. "That was terrible," he declared. "Even for you."

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"It could have been worse. I could have turned it into a 'that's what she said' somehow," Jim pointed out. Oh, the memories of that.

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

And now Biff was remembering an ugly Phoenician who completely overshared about his sex life. He shuddered. "Thanks for not."

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Any time," Jim said.