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Freelance Police HQ, Sunday

If Hank Katarn knew anything about do-gooders, it was that they wouldn't expect somebody in the Freelance Police HQ to be working on a freeze ray powered by a rare diamond that could freeze the world. The very thing was unthinkable! Who would expect psychotic individuals to work here?

Okay, maybe Hank hadn't done his homework. But still! So that's what he was doing this afternoon at work. Building a freeze ray and cackling maniacally when nobody was looking.

[OOC: The OCD has been frozen.]

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Amnesia!Woman wandered into the police headquarters, determined to find out who she was. What she was doing here. And whose wallet had she stolen lately?

"Hello? Is there a dashing and impressively brilliant detective in the house, to assist me in my quest to find my true identity?"

"Do you have the money for it?" Hank asked. "Because if you do, I'm your man. Kyle Katarn. Just call me Katarn, though. Kyle's a stupid name."

And people named Kyle were wusses. Take that, Kyle.

"Certainly!" Amnesia!Woman handed over one of the many wallets she'd picked up from the hotel bar last night. "Visa or Mastercard?"

"Better be safe and let me have both," Hank said. Evilly. "You never know how expensive things like finding identities can be."

"Do you think you could find that I'm secretly related to the fabulously wealthy Stark-Basses, and am heir to at least 15% of their net annual income?" Amnesia!Woman asked, looking hopeful.

If she was, she could pay Hank even more. And then he could build an even BIGGER freeze ray. Maybe get an even bigger rare diamond, too.

"I'm sure I could," Hank said. "Let me just look through my files."

Hank grabbed a piece of paper and wrote 'This certificate hereby states that the woman pictured is Mountain Dew Stark-Bass and owes Katarn of the Freelance Police a lot of money for figuring that out.'

What? He had been thirsty earlier.

Then he pulled a Polaroid camera out of the desk. "Mind if I take a picture of you for the office records?"

"Brilliant!" Amnes-- wait, Mountain smiled charmingly, and tilted her head. "I'll pay extra if you play up the resemblance to Audrey Hepburn."

Max watched what's-his-name with glee. "Is that a freeze ray?!??!" he asked. "Can I try it out? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?"

"Of course," Hank said. He snapped the picture and, when it was fully developed, taped it to the sheet.

Then he pulled out a notary stamp and stamped it.

Yes, he was an evil notary public.

"Hey, look what I found by doing good detective work," Hank said.

"It's not ready yet," Hank said. Then, remembering his cover, he said, "No, it's not a freeze ray. It's a coat rack."

Hank Katarn was an awesome liar.

"How will I ever repay you?" Mountain said, fluttering her eyelashes and handing over a Platinum AmEx card that hadn't expired yet. "You're a genius, Katarn! I'll tell everyone I meet!"

"No, it's totally a freeze ray," Max countered. "I know, because I've seen them on TV."

He hopped closer and peered at it. "Soooooo... how does it work? Is it deadly? Can I shoot you and find out?"

"No! Don't tell them that!" Hank cried as he took the card and put it in his pocket. He couldn't let people think Kyle was smart. "Let's keep this between you and me."

And whoever read the document, of course.

"It's a model of a freeze ray, so it won't work," Hank said. "And even if it did, it would freeze the entire world if my demands weren't met."

"But it's a model, so that won't happen. Really."

"As you wish," Mountain said, ~~Which is totally code for 'I love you' but only in fairy tales~~ and retrieved her miraculous documentation and blew Katarn a kiss. "Call me when I'm rich and famous!"

"Oh, I will," Hank said. To blackmail her for more money. Because he was eeeeeeeeeevil.

Despite minor distractions, Hank had finished up work on the freeze ray.

"And now it's time to test it out by freezing New York City!" he cackled as he reached for the On switch.

Just then, Kyle kicked the door open. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried, pulling out his Bryar pistol and firing a warning shot.

"Kyle," Hank said. "I see you got free somehow."

"Yes, brother," Kyle said. "And I'm here to end your reign of terror."

"How do you expect to do that? All you have is a gun. I, on the other hand, have a sword." Hank pulled out his lightsaber and switched it on.

"You're not the only one," Kyle said, pulling out his spare that he freed himself with. He ran forward, jumped onto his desk, and swung his lightsaber at Hank from a position of height.

"No!" Hank yelled. "You can't be taller than me! We're twins!" Hank jumped up onto the desk, only to get kicked in the face, knocking him back down.

"You stand no chance, Hank," Kyle said, flipping off the desk. "I was always the better duelist."

"Maybe, brother. But I'm the better cheater!" Hank said, throwing sand in Kyle's face. "I always carry some sand on me for a fight."

"No! I'm blind!" Kyle said. "I can't see!"

Hank rose and grunted as he charged forward to attack Kyle. The grunt let Kyle know where he was, though, allowing him to parry the attack.

But Hank's momentum was too great. He kept running forward, piercing the freeze ray with his lightsaber. "No! NOOOOOOOO!" he screamed as ice radiation radiated off of the machine, a flash freeze traveling up the sword, onto his hands, and then over his whole body.

Kyle got the sand out of his eyes just in time to see the chilly end of his brother. "A fitting end," he said. And with that, Kyle left the office. He'd leave Hank's frozen body for the proper authorities to take care of.

Max sighed. "I've got half a mind to fire you. Call me when you come up with an evil plan that WORKS."

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Freelance Police HQ, Sunday

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At the end of the day

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