Freelance Police HQ, Sunday

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

If Hank Katarn knew anything about do-gooders, it was that they wouldn't expect somebody in the Freelance Police HQ to be working on a freeze ray powered by a rare diamond that could freeze the world. The very thing was unthinkable! Who would expect psychotic individuals to work here?

Okay, maybe Hank hadn't done his homework. But still! So that's what he was doing this afternoon at work. Building a freeze ray and cackling maniacally when nobody was looking.

[OOC: The OCD has been frozen.]

Comments

[magdaofslovenia.livejournal.com]

"Do you think you could find that I'm secretly related to the fabulously wealthy Stark-Basses, and am heir to at least 15% of their net annual income?" Amnesia!Woman asked, looking hopeful.

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

If she was, she could pay Hank even more. And then he could build an even BIGGER freeze ray. Maybe get an even bigger rare diamond, too.

"I'm sure I could," Hank said. "Let me just look through my files."

Hank grabbed a piece of paper and wrote 'This certificate hereby states that the woman pictured is Mountain Dew Stark-Bass and owes Katarn of the Freelance Police a lot of money for figuring that out.'

What? He had been thirsty earlier.

Then he pulled a Polaroid camera out of the desk. "Mind if I take a picture of you for the office records?"

[magdaofslovenia.livejournal.com]

"Brilliant!" Amnes-- wait, Mountain smiled charmingly, and tilted her head. "I'll pay extra if you play up the resemblance to Audrey Hepburn."

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

"Of course," Hank said. He snapped the picture and, when it was fully developed, taped it to the sheet.

Then he pulled out a notary stamp and stamped it.

Yes, he was an evil notary public.

"Hey, look what I found by doing good detective work," Hank said.

[magdaofslovenia.livejournal.com]

"How will I ever repay you?" Mountain said, fluttering her eyelashes and handing over a Platinum AmEx card that hadn't expired yet. "You're a genius, Katarn! I'll tell everyone I meet!"

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

"No! Don't tell them that!" Hank cried as he took the card and put it in his pocket. He couldn't let people think Kyle was smart. "Let's keep this between you and me."

And whoever read the document, of course.

[magdaofslovenia.livejournal.com]

"As you wish," Mountain said, Which is totally code for 'I love you' but only in fairy tales and retrieved her miraculous documentation and blew Katarn a kiss. "Call me when I'm rich and famous!"

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I will," Hank said. To blackmail her for more money. Because he was eeeeeeeeeevil.