Stark Industries, Monday

[endsthegame]

There was no amount of logic you could apply to some things that happened in Fandom.

Sure, the weetiny elves pottering around Stark's with glasses of water were almost one of them, but not quite. What was was that kind of insane display yesterday, when he'd--

Ender felt that repression was the better part of valour, took a glass of water, and settled in to tinker with Jack's telegraph.

[[ ooopen ]]

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[momslilassassin]

After waking up on the top of a cliff surrounded by some truly horrifying graffiti art, Ben decided that the absolute best thing to do with this weekend was to pretend that it had never happened.

Which was why he was back at Stark's with the usual two cups of coffee in his hands. "Ho, Ender."

[endsthegame]

"Ho, Ben."

There was nothing the island could throw at Ender that he couldn't deal with through a combination of repression and rationalization. "Morning."

[momslilassassin]

"What's your project for today?" Ben asked.

Since there was nothing to talk about from the weekend. Because it never happened. Lalalala.

[endsthegame]

"I'm still working on Jack's telegraph," he said. "I think I've gotten the hang of Fandom communications. At least to an extent."

He'd been busy today. For some reason.

[momslilassassin]

"Are the elves helping?" Ben replied, teasing.

[endsthegame]

"If by helping you mean 'spilling water on everything'."

[momslilassassin]

Ben laughed. "You mean that's not helping?" he replied, holding out the coffee.

[endsthegame]

He took the coffee and took a sip. Wryly. "Not by UN definitions, no."

[momslilassassin]

"Maybe you should take it up with their manager," Ben suggested. The subject was odd, but decidedly less awkward than anything else they could be talking about.

...not that they would. They were stars in the Repression Olympics.

[endsthegame]

Ben could speak for himself. Ender had gold medals in Rationalizing Bad Things That Happen to You. "The UN doesn't have a manager, Ben," he said. Gently.

[momslilassassin]

"Then how does it get anything done?" Ben replied.

[endsthegame]

"By having a president."

[momslilassassin]

"Who's different than the Hegemon," Ben said. "How many people are running your planet?"

[endsthegame]

Ender chuckled. "I wasn't talking about anyone in my time," he said. "I'm pretty sure the Hegemony is what the UN turned into. Or at least a part of it."

[momslilassassin]

Ben nodded thoughtfully. "That makes sense. Think we should write Peter to complain about the substandard training practices of his elves? His head would probably explode."

[endsthegame]

Ender snorted. "I'm sure he's got more important things to do. Like extorting from the little man, or grinding small animals under his boot."

Oh, Peter. You should feel special.

[momslilassassin]

"So I should take those off of my to-do list, huh," Ben mused, taking a chocolate from his belt pouch. "Did you get any shoe candy in class?"

[endsthegame]

"I got some," he said, holding up a round piece of spiced cookie. "I'm already acquainted with the holiday, though." And how.

[momslilassassin]

"People would put stuff in your boots at Battle School?" Ben asked. "Things that you'd want to eat?"

Because the guys in GAG had put things in his boots, too. Gross, squishy things.

[endsthegame]

"No, no," he said, with a slight laugh. "It was a debacle, really. Dink - he was one of the soldiers who came with me to Battle School, my toon leader in the second army I was in. He was Dutch. Religious festivals were banned on Earth, especially on Battle School, but he and another Dutch friend opted to celebrate it by sharing gifts one year." A pause. "In their shoes. Though not edible, I don't think."

[momslilassassin]

Ben grinned. "Good for Dink. I didn't know about the holiday until this morning, so your shoes are fair game from now on."

[endsthegame]

He grinned back, his thoughts briefly on Zeck and the aftermath of that whole... debacle. But he shook his head. "I'll be careful to watch where I step, Skywalker. Although maybe I should really make like the Dutch and leave you a carrot in thanks."

[momslilassassin]

Ben twitched just slightly. Hello there, not quite as repressed as we'd like memories of Karla's creepy asylum.

"Can you make it a radish or something?"

[endsthegame]

Ender's mouth twitched back. Apologetically. "Maybe a loaf of bread," he said, "It'd be a nice response to all that ice cream you keep eating."

[momslilassassin]

Ben's eyes flashed with gratitude. "I made ice cream in science class today. It's not that hard, especially if you use liquid nitrogen."

[endsthegame]

"Messing with chemicals and ice cream," he mused. "I think your teacher is trying to get in with you."

[momslilassassin]

"Oh, he left us to our own devices today," Ben said. "I chose the ice cream thing myself."

Of course he had.

[endsthegame]

"I really need to talk to Tahiri about your feeding habits."

[momslilassassin]

Ben stuck his tongue out at him. "I eat fine."

[endsthegame]

"Dairy products and no turnips," Ender mused, "I imagine Sinterklaas would leave you coals - or am I mixing up my traditions now, professor?"

[momslilassassin]

"Maybe a little," Ben answered carefully, "but I'm still not exactly clear on how these holidays work."

[endsthegame]

"Need me to clarify anything?"

[momslilassassin]

"Okay, so Sinterklaas and Santa Claus are the same person, but one shows up twenty days before the other one," Ben recited aloud. "What do they have to do with the tiny god's birth again?"

[endsthegame]

"Sinterklaas is a derivative of Saint Nicholas, the saint," he said, patiently, "The reason he arrives twenty days early is probably because he isn't actually connected to the holiday. They just appropriated him for it."

[momslilassassin]

"So everyone who does nice things during the month of December gets claimed by Christianity and rolled into their big holiday?" Ben guessed.

[endsthegame]

"It's pretty much the dominant religion in this time," he said, "Or at least for the part of the world everyone listens to. As far as I know, Christmas itself is just a case of rolling up a pagan feast and fusing it with Jesus' birthday."

[momslilassassin]

Ben nodded again. "Bet the pagans were thrilled."

[endsthegame]

"The Christians went through a patch of not being too fond of them, either." Ah, dark sarcasm.

[momslilassassin]

"I think I remember reading about that," Ben said. "You're all fond of religious wars, huh?"

Because Jedi versus Sith wasn't a religious war or something.

[endsthegame]

Yeah, Ender was... thinking about that.

"I think it's just a human trait."

[momslilassassin]

"The Formics weren't trying to convert you, though, right?"

[endsthegame]

Ender snorted. "They couldn't even figure out how to talk to us," he pointed out. "If they could, they might not have been dead."

Niiice evasion. Top marks.

[momslilassassin]

Ben held up his coffee to him in a little toast. "Excellent evasion," he commented with a light smile.

[endsthegame]

Ender shrugged. "It's the truth," he said, "The Formics could never talk to us. So there wasn't a lot of converting they could manage." Had to love that past tense.

[momslilassassin]

Ben's eyes focused on Ender's for a long moment. "Would've saved a lot of trouble if they'd figured out how to talk to you before shooting first."

[endsthegame]

"That's the essence of tragedy, isn't it?" Ender asked, holding his look without breaking it or anything. Idle. "Suffering that could've been avoided if people would've just talked, first. It's the one lesson I hope we learned."

[momslilassassin]

"Think it's likely?" Ben asked with a grim smile.

[endsthegame]

Ender's mouth twitched. "I'm hoping."

[momslilassassin]

Ben reached out to ruffle Ender's hair. "Since when are you an optimist?" he teased.