The Perk; Late Monday Morning

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

You know, Chuck dealt with enough drama in his life. He didn't need a weekend even more ridiculous than what he had to go through every day. He didn't know what had been worse: being related to Merlin, having Mayor Summers somehow be his mother or the fact that John Sheppard (or someone that looked like him) had somehow managed to kill him again.

It actually didn't take much thought, the John killing him thing was definitely the worst bit. Because his scarf was missing. AGAIN. Why couldn't he survive any AU?

Chuck grabbed a bottle of whipped cream from behind the counter and started adding a ton to his coffee. He needed it.

[Ooooooopen. And, spoiler alert, this'll most likely be the last time you'll get to see Chuck for the next few weeks]

Comments

[scruffnfeathers]

After checking to be sure that no faux priests were plotting to take over his church -- and no melodramatic weddings were taking place there -- Castiel set out into town with his laptop, headed for the Perk.

He nodded to Chuck as he went to order the small coffee he wouldn't be drinking. "Good morning."

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Chuck said as he finished up what turned out to be a whipped cream mountain on the top of his coffee. He spent a couple seconds debating on giving the can back to it's rightful owners but decided to stick it in his coat pocket just in case he needed more later.

No wonder he got fat in season two.

"How was your weekend?"

[scruffnfeathers]

"Very strange. People kept trying to take over the church."

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, there were a lot of wannabe priests running around." It had been kind of hot, actually. "Everybody went kind of nuts. Seems to be reasonably back to normal now."

[scruffnfeathers]

"I was forced to knock one unconscious and remove him from the church. He assumed I was the mistaken one."

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Chuck grinned. "He probably actually thought he was a priest. Seriously, if that's all you had to deal with then you got lucky."

[scruffnfeathers]

"He referred to me as his child." Chuck clearly had no concept of how disturbing that was. "I thought perhaps he was sent by Zachariah to distract me."

Then he caught up on what Chuck was telling him.

"There were worse things occurring on the island, this weekend?"

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Way worse," Chuck said, nodding. "I kissed a guy who I thought was my brother, tried to hook up with the youngest Winchester and managed to stop a wedding."

He paused to take a sip of coffee.

"And I was murdered. Again."

[scruffnfeathers]

"I thought you and Sam had already. . . ." Castiel trailed off and blinked. "Did you say 'again'?"

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"Fucking Teal Deer." Like that made any sense. Parker glared at the counter person and snarled, "Espresso. Ginormous size. Hop to it."

Waking up not-pregnant-with-twins had been a huuuuge relief, but it still didn't make up for having been Little Goddamn Maureen Sunshine all weekend. Parker was tempted to shoot a barista just on principle.

"Grrrr."

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Chuck honestly doubted that anybody had a worse weekend than him but he could muster up a bit of sympathy for Parker.

Then again, maybe she had had a worse weekend. He hadn't been reduced to growling at people yet.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker caught his eyes, and toasted him with her drink. "Congratulations on the non-nuptials of your non-parents. I assume." Because as far as she knew, Tony didn't have kids. But she was pretty damn sure the Mayor didn't used to be a woman. Oh, who the hell knew.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," he said, smirking. "And they're definitely not my parents. There have been no sex changes in the Bass family. That I'm aware of."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"Goddamn Island makes you question everything," Parker griped. Like, if she'd been the one kidnapped instead of Angelo, would she have ended up in a convent? Taken vows?

...naaaaah.

"And I still committed a felony. Every. Fucking. Crazy. Weekend."

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Well it's better than dying every time," he told her oh-so-helpfully. "I'm beginning to think the universe is trying to tell me something."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker considered that, and said, "True. I died last time. That was stupid and not at all amusing." She tilted her head and sipped her coffee, still feeling like her skin was too tight or too thin. "So, what, the universe wants to tell you to... invest in kevlar?" Good luck with that.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"I'm think it's a subtle reminder to stick to my own universe," he said. "Which I don't have a problem with. Less advil-peddling elves there."

Oh yes, he had ran into those in the dorm hallway this morning.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

They'd been pushing the Evian on her as soon as she was conscious. There were a few little squashed-looking elves walking into the walls of her abandoned suite, now.

"Why the hell I ever come here... although the weird can find you on another continent, in another world," Parker said grimly. "If I could get a divorce from this place, I so would."

[swerval_zero]

Zero bounced up to Parker, ordered a peppermint mocha with an extra shot (because clearly what Zero always needed was more caffeine) and extra whip, then turned to Parker and said, "So, I woke up this morning with an oxygen mask on my face and no memory of the last two days. Do you have any swoo?"

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"The teal deer are out to get us because we didn't pay them any royalties." Parker grimaced and took an shot of her espresso, then turned to wind her way to an empty table. "Also, the Island went insane again."

[swerval_zero]

Zero took her enormous mug of ridiculous coffee and followed her. Soon, Zero would be the most sugared-up and caffeinated creature on the entire island. She couldn't wait. "So, was everyone doin' the Sleeping Beauty thing? Or just me?"

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"I think there were a couple others. The rest of us were just having one of those weekends where we do stupid crap." Parker took a slug of her espresso and gave Zero a dark look. "I envy you your coma. And I committed another frakking felony. Rickshaw theft."

[swerval_zero]

Zero wasn't pouting over not getting to commit felonies. Really, she wasn't.

Okay, maybe a little.

"Anything else really crazy?" she asked hopefully.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Oh, she's not mentioning the pregnancy. Not unless she needs an ace here.

"The world's weirdest wedding, with that Tony Stark guy and Tyler trying to get married, and getting interrupted twice. Random priests. Random dominatrixes at Caritas. Couple people got dead again, I think. They're probably fine now." She was so caring. Yeah. "And... I wore Laura Ashley. Kill me."

[swerval_zero]

Zero froze with her coffee cup halfway to her mouth and stared. "Laura Ashley???"