Our Lady of Fandom, Thursday

[scruffnfeathers]

"Hello, everyone," said Castiel as he took to the pulpit. "There are a few things I would like to clear up for you, today." He cleared his throat and looked down at what seemed to be some sort of list. It was perhaps a sign of his otherworldly nature that he seemed to have no trouble reading from it by twinkly Christmas lights. "First of all: while I, personally, wasn't present for the birth of the Christ, I have it on good authority what actually happened. It should be noted that there was a distinct lack of the following: elves. Candy canes. Snow, colored or otherwise, and by extension, snow men, magical or otherwise. Drummer boys. Holly. Mistletoe. Fat men in red suits. Reindeer. Chestnuts. Any sort of conifer. Or long strands of tiny light bulbs." He turned his list over. "I'm told there was rather a lot of screaming, domesticated animals, straw, an assortment of my brothers and sisters, and three very confused men from Asia.

"All the other various items were things added on over the years from traditional winter holidays of other religions and regions, many of which were probably instituted in what I'm told is referred to as the 'Victorian Era'. Make of that what you will."

Castiel concluded by looking very seriously out over the congregation. The old lady in the front row cleared her throat.

"Ah, yes. And I wish all of you happy holidays."

He almost even sounded like he might kind of mean it.

[ooc: OCD is coming up.]

Comments

Listen to the sermon

[scruffnfeathers]

Castiel listed those things off nice and slow, in case anyone wanted to take notes.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[bitchprince]

... You mean that there were versions of this tale that didn't involve a lot of screaming and farm animals? Because that meant the priests had been lying to Arthur.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[thatsamilkshake]

Francine might have been taking the ability to control her own church clothing and/or make up for last week a liiiittle far, wrapped as she was in a chin-to-knee coat that she didn't take off once she sat down to listen, but can anyone really blame her?

Re: Listen to the sermon

[living_endless]

This was a good Christmas sermon, Didi thought, even if it was a bit heavy on reminding people of what should be obvious.

But they were good at forgetting what should be obvious, too.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[stayingfrosty.livejournal.com]

Price just sort of stared from his spot in the pews.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

Sookie listened to the sermon quietly, thinking that this lined up pretty well with what she believed, if not what her church back in Bon Temps did.

Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

He might tell you all about how arid the Middle East is, and just which of the heralds of the apocalypse snow in Bethlehem would have been.

Then you can tell him about Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. And he'll stare at you blankly.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[stayingfrosty.livejournal.com]

"Interesting sermon," Price said, approaching Castiel. His accent was British, so even if he bore a resemblance to a certain someone, his voice was definitely different, as was his lack of trucker hat.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

Castiel had only an instant of thinking "Bobby Singer!" before he noted the various differences.

The resemblance was still uncanny.

"I'm told they generally are, yes."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[stayingfrosty.livejournal.com]

"Not much of a religious man, myself," Price said. "I'm mainly here to see what sort of moral compass the community has."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"I'm afraid I cannot speak for the community. I myself am primarily concerned with keeping anyone on the island from ending the world."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[stayingfrosty.livejournal.com]

"...that something that crops up often?" Price said. He raised and eyebrow.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"Hopefully only once."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"Feel better now that the record is set straight?" Layla asked as she hid a smile.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"Only slightly. If they're going to celebrate the return of the sun after the longest night on Earth, they may as well be honest about it."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"I'm thinking someone needs to hear the meta for Linus's speech from meta for the Charlie Brown Christmas Special," Layla teased. "At least that special mentions God and Jesus and is against commercialism. Somewhat."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"It's a special Christmas . . . what, exactly?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"Television Christmas Special," Layla clarified. "Usually a cartoon for kids to learn the real meaning of Christmas. Usually involving Santa, reindeer or a talking snowman."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"Those things have nothing to do with the reality of Christmas."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bitchprince]

"...People think elves are involved with Christmas," Arthur asked, nonplussed, now that the mun remembered she'd been planning to write this ping.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"So it would seem. Something about them building toys, which as far as I know, doesn't even match up to the tradition they've been pulled from."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bitchprince]

"..." Arthur rubbed his forehead. "Well, er--"

How did one address an angel?

"...Angel Castiel," he decided upon, "I'm glad you've chosen to set them straight about all of this nonsense."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

Castiel nodded. "I'm glad to see it is appreciated, though I cannot say how well they will listen to me."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bitchprince]

"Will you be holding Christ's mass as well?" he inquired. After all, so far, all of Castiel's services had been... on Thursdays.

OOC

[scruffnfeathers]

This post is brought to you by the fact that I enjoy making lists in narratives.

*shrugs*