'Dite's Decadent Delights, Monday

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

In most retail stores, the week after Christmas means only one things: Returns. People returning Christmas presents they didn't want, for merchandise they probably don't need.

But in a store like 'Dite's, which had a discrete sign announcing a no-return policy on most items, she really didn't have that problem.

Until now.

"Let me get this straight." She glared at the man in front of her. "You're telling me you had me do an emergency order for 48 wireless remote vibrators because you were making a giant vibrating ornament and now you don't want them because they all work on separate remotes, so you're returning 46 of the 48 vibrators?" Excuse her if her voice was getting a little shrill at the end there. "I got you free shipping and a discount -- two days before Christmas!"

The man smiled and nodded. "Yes." He picked one up. "But it's okay, see, I put them all back in their little plastic boxes."

'Dite just stared at him.

Several minutes and a few zaps later she was sitting behind her counter reading a magazine and calmly drinking a mug of nectar while her former erstwhile customer gathered himself and his pile of 46 vibrators out of the middle of the street.

Aphrodite glanced out the window at him. "Mortals." And she went back to sipping her nectar.

'Dite's Decadent Delights is open. No returns, please.


(ooc: Post open. Expecting two later today, but it's free for anyone who's looking to annoy the goddess.)

Comments

[furious-maximus.livejournal.com]

Max was at Dite's shop to annoy the goddess. He had far too strong a sense of self-preservation for that. Instead he pushed open the door and pretended to glance down at the box in his hands before calling out. "Excuse me, I've got a special delivery here?"

Like she wasn't going to recognize his voice.

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

"Special-- Max!" 'Dite closed the magazine and came around the counter to greet him. She offered him a hug.

"It's really good to see you."

[furious-maximus.livejournal.com]

He hugged her back rather enthusiastically, careful to keep the small box in his hand from coming to any harm. "It is, as always, a delight to see you, my dear."

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

She tilted her head and smiled. "Aw, you're so sweeeet. What brings you by this afternoon?"

[furious-maximus.livejournal.com]

"A man can't just be in the mood for some pleasant company?" he asked with a teasing quirk of his eyebrow.

"Though, I suppose I do have a special delivery..." He opened his palm to reveal the long, slim box. The sort you paid too much for when you bought jewelry.

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

"Of course, he can, and . . . " There was a long indrawn breath. "Max! What is this? Ohhhh." Leaning up she moved to kiss his cheek.

[furious-maximus.livejournal.com]

Max laughed, turning slightly to give her a quick kiss. "Open it and see if you're still excited."

Really, what was the point of being stupidly wealthy if you weren't going to buy overpriced jewelry (http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Item.aspx?fromGrid=1&sku=22865153&mcat=148204&cid=287465&search_params=s+5-p+2-c+287465-r+101323339+101323352-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+) for the beautiful women in your life.

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

She raised an eyebrow at him and bit her lip, then slowly opened the box.

First there was the frozen stare. Then the slowly dropping mouth. Followed by an "Awwwwwww!!"

"Max! You didn't have to do this! I love it, but it's too much!"

This would be her one token protest, because she really did love it and thought it would look just perfect on her.

[furious-maximus.livejournal.com]

"I'm afraid there are no returns," Max lied. "So you'll just have to keep it."

He reached out and touched the pearls gently. "Would mind terribly if I...?" put it on for her.

[maxnotsam.livejournal.com]

Max wandered into the store, yawned, scratched his butt, and looked around with some confusion.

"Hey, where are all the decadent delights?" he asked.

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

A talking bunny.

Now this was a surprise. 'Dite blinked, but decided it was just Fandom, and she could deal.

"Well, it depends on just what kind of delights you're looking for, handsome."

[maxnotsam.livejournal.com]

"Well, I was hoping for some fudge," Max answered. "But I'll take whatever you've got. Lay it on me!"

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

What he got was a chocolate lollipop with a fudge center -- in the shape of a female breast.

"How's that tickle your fancy?"

(ooc: gone for half an hour, back after that. SP okay?)

[maxnotsam.livejournal.com]

Max shrugged and picked at his belly button lint. "Fancy: not being tickled," he told her. "I mean, that thing looks like a..." He dropped his voice to a whisper. "...boob."

If 'Dite wanted to titillate him, she'd have to use her powers. There wasn't anything in her store that would excite him anywhere NEAR as much as his gun, or video games.

...Except maybe the bondage gear.

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

"That's exactly what it is." She shrugged. "What, would you prefer a dick?" She offered him one. "What else would you expect from a sex shop?"

If guns were what titillated this little guy, he was definitely in the wrong place.

. . . though, she might show him a thing or two about the bondage gear. Especially the gags.

[maxnotsam.livejournal.com]

Max eyed the chocolate dick with the same confusion he gave the breast. "If this is a sex shop," he countered, "what's the deal with the whole 'decadent delights' thing???"

...And, just to prove he wasn't ENTIRELY floating up the river without a paddle, he added, "Besides, why would anyone buy sex, when you can get it on the Internet for free?"

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

Aphrodite rolled her eyes, but decided to answer. In a very sweet voice she said, "Welllll, some people think these things make sex better. So they buy them, not the sex, here." She felt like she was trying to explain to a child, and wondered if she should have ordered those "Tell Your Kids About Sex" videos she'd seen in a catalog. "And since others consider these things to be decadent, that's what I named the store."

[stayingfrosty.livejournal.com]

"Well, well, well," Price said, entering the shop. He was dressed in uniform out of habit, his bush hat pressed down on his balding head.

"I have to say, not quite what I expected, and yet everything I should have anticipated."

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

"Well, well, well, Captain Price." Aphrodite put down her magazine and stood from her chair. "What, exactly, were you expecting?"

(ooc: gone for half an hour, as I am kidnapped for coffee. SP okay?)

[stayingfrosty.livejournal.com]

"Well, a bit more love and little less lust," Price said. "Or were the Greeks not into differentiating the two?" He smirked.

"I'm a bit more apt to take you at your word, now."

[ooc: Always!]

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

"I said I'm the goddess of love, Captain. But there are many types of love." She shrugged. "Sexual love is part of my domain, and the one the island seemed to need. Can't blame me for just trying to fill a niche, right?"

[stayingfrosty.livejournal.com]

"Please," Price said. "Call me Price. And I can hardly blame a goddess for anything. Even if your influence hasn't been felt in my own life." He chuckled.

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

"Well, I'm sorry about that, Price. But I have a feeling we're not exactly from the same world." She put her chin on her hand. "And maybe that'll change, here on Fandom. Who knows?"

[stayingfrosty.livejournal.com]

Price shook his head. "It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Especially a bloodhound."

[divinesurfchick.livejournal.com]

"Is that what you consider yourself, Captain? An old bloodhound?" She looked him over. "Cause I'd say you're more like an Old English Sheepdog, if you ask me."