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Atlas Gym | Tuesday

Today, Dimitri arrived at the gym so early it was still mostly dark out. Admittedly, he'd yet to sleep and so he retreated to his rarely-used office, leaving the front desk to Jessi whenever her shift started.

There was no doubt in his mind that Rose would show to argue about resuming her regular training schedule, it was more a matter of when. The girl was stubborn and it was her normal working day, but even ignoring her burns, Dimitri was too worried about the state of her psyche to let his novice jump back into normal life so quickly.

Ignoring the pile of papers someone had dumped on his desk, Dimitri retrieved a worn paperback from his coat pocket and kicked his feet up to do some light reading while he waited.

The door to the manager's office was open, and Atlas was ready for business.

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Get those buns moving all on your own!

Seek the help of a professional.

Rose didn't know if she had training today, but if it was Tuesday here, it was her day at the gym. She hoped she had training today. Something to focus on. She'd been a little better after the talk with Jaina last night, but she still closed her eyes and saw blood. Rose wasn't entirely sure that would stop.

She changed into practice clothes and headed down to the gym. Her hair was still down as she entered - the bandages were off the molnija marks, and it felt almost naked to wear her hair up and expose them.

Dimitri wasn't in at the front desk, so she headed back to the office. He was reading, and Rose couldn't quite get herself to talk first. She was content to wait for him to notice her - if he hadn't already.

Dimitri looked up at her entrance and tucked a bookmark in the pages of his novel. "I thought you might come by," he said, as if he hadn't shown up early solely because he'd expected her.

Rose frowned at him, reaching up to pull her hair up finally. "It's time for practice," she told him.

Duh.

Pay no attention to anything but that.

He noticed she'd removed the coverings from her molnija when she started moving her hair and felt a pang of sorrow again that she'd had to earn them so early in life. It was far better than the alternative, but still.

"No," he shook his head. "There's no practice today. You still need to recover."

"I'm good to go," she said, forcing as much bravado into the words as possible. She needed something to do. "Doctor said I was good."

Which didn't mean Dimitri would agree. "Why don't you have a seat," he instructed in a tone that said there was something he wanted to discuss.

Rose hesitated a second before she complied and sat down on the chair across the office. She took a breath, trying to compose herself and wondering if there was going to be a lecture or if he was telling her he was moving on to Tasha or -

Given what he wanted to say, Dimitri stood and scooted his chair closer so he could more easily try to catch Rose's eyes as he spoke.

"No one gets over their first kill...kills...easily. Even with Strigoi...well, it's still technically taking a life. That's hard to come to terms with. And after everything else you went through..." Dimitri sighed, having a difficult time choosing the right words to convey everything he meant. His hand reached out for hers like a lifeline. "When we found you in that house...when I saw your face...you can't imagine how I felt."

She let him take her hand, her heart skipping a beat as she felt his long, powerful fingers wrap around hers. Rose met his eyes, trying to see everything he was wanting to say.

"How -" she swallowed hard. "How did you feel?"

"Devastated...grief-stricken," Dimitri answered honestly, thinking of the horror of that day and Rose covered in blood, clutching a battered sword. "You were alive, but the way you looked...I didn't think you'd ever recover. And it tore me apart to think of that happening to you so young." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "You will recover — I know that now, and I'm glad. But you aren't there yet. Losing someone you care about is never easy."

The floor was - really, really interesting right now. Rose studied it intently, definitely not catching his gaze now.

She let what he said sink in, and an almost overwhelming feeling of sadness swamped her. "It's my fault," she said in a very small voice.

Dimitri's head dropped, trying to catch her eye again since he didn't expect her to go so quiet. "What's that?"

"Mason," Rose said, not looking up. "Getting killed."

And Dimitri probably already knew that.

"Oh, Roza." There was no way Dimitri agreed with that, but he understood her trying to blame herself. "No. You made some bad decisions - you should've told someone when you knew he was gone - but you cannot blame yourself. You didn't kill him." It was a difficult concept to embrace, but it was something she had to learn if she was going to survive as a guardian.

"Did as much as," Rose said, finally looking up again and feeling tears brimming in her eyes. "The whole reason he went there was my fault. You and I had a fight, and I told him about the Spokane thing after you asked me not to."

Tears were falling now, and Rose needed to stop this crap. No more crying.

He reached out a hand to cup her cheek, thumb trying to brush her tears away. "No, you can't take that blame on yourself, Roza," Dimitri said, trying to help her understand things it had taken him years to figure out on his own. "You can regret your choices and wish you'd done things differently, but Mason made his own decisions, too. That was what he chose to do. It was his decision in the end, no matter your role."

And no matter what Dimitri would have done in Mason's place.

Mason had put his feelings for her ahead of his responsibility, Rose realised. The same sort of thing that she and Dimitri couldn't do while guardian Lissa, she never could put Lissa in danger like that.

"I just wish -" more tears were coming now. "I wish I could have done more - anything -"

She pulled away, standing up quickly and trying to swallow back her tears.

"I should go," Rose said thickly, rubbing her hand over her eyes. "Let me know when you're ready to practice again. And - thanks for talking." She turned to go, sniffling a little like a baby.

Trust that Dimitri understood the line of her thoughts there.

Not wanting her to leave without getting something else out there once and for all, Dimitri suddenly stood and said, "No."

She looked back over her shoulders. "What?"

He probably understand her line of thought more than she did.

Trying to hold her gaze, Dimitri repeated himself, "No. I told her no. Tasha."

*waaaaaaaaits impatiently*

:D:D:D

I'd say we're going to keep missing one another except I shall now REFUSE to leave this spot until there is threading. *nods*

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Work Out

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OOC | Atlas

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