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Caritas; Friday Evening

Damon was really wishing he hadn't came into work today. This baggage thing was ridiculous. Okay, "DADDY ISSUES" he didn't mind so much. Who didn't have some daddy issues? But "GIRLFRIEND TRAPPED IN A MAGICAL TOMB" was nobody's business and "KATHERINE LOVED STEFAN MORE THAN ME" was just effing untrue. Really. Completely untrue.

And he was no way looking at the large pile of luggage in the corner of the bar that all related to Stefan one way or another, ranging from "I WANT TO KILL MY BROTHER" to "I MISS STEFAN SO MUCH IT HURTS SOMETIMES".

It was awful.

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I didn't think "I want to bone my brother" would have been appropriate but it doesn't make it any less true.

There were luggage trunks from Discworld that moved, it was true. Angua was hoping that, since she wasn't on Discworld, these would be regular, nonmoving pieces of traveling equipment.

Angua would be wrong. Thankfully, some of her baggage was just too big to fit through the door. On the flip side, SEXUAL REPRESSION and HATES BATHS and FLEA AND TICK SEASON were not things you wanted crowding your feet.

"How about," Angua ordered with a snide smile, "anything without a label?"

Damon gave Angua a bitter smirk. "Good luck with that. I wouldn't be surprised if the liquor bottles are displaying my issues too."

"Are you an alcoholic?" asked Angua, pointedly.

She didn't think he was going to say yes, though. Because that would actually make sense.

"No, I'm not." Damon did drink a ton of alcohol, but that was only to keep the bloodlust down and his body temperature up. "But I'm not addicted to baggage either and they seem to be getting sassy with me today. I don't see why liquor bottles can't join the fun either."

Angua took a moment to peer over toward his side of the bar.

"Funny," she said. "For someone who's never heard of emotional baggage, you sure do have a lot of it."

Look, she was from Discworld and could spot a pun a mile away. Especially bad ones. And he was a vampire, so he just deserved snark. She couldn't help it; it was a werewolf thing.

Please ignore the little SPECIEST carry on dancing at her feet.

Really? I'm surprised we're not seeing more of that, myself.

Yeah, I'm a bit surprised at that myself what with all the CW characters around. We all know they want their siblings. Or have already had them *eyes Chuck*

Damon smirked. "Funny. I noticed you were plagued with some luggage yourself."

"Oh, this is nothing," said Angua, blatantly ignoring the SCRITCHING DEPENDENCY duffel. "You should see what I've got outside."

"Oh?" Damon raised an eyebrow. "Is that where the really horrible stuff is?"

"No," said Angua, who was not going to admit to horrible stuff. "Just the really big ones."

At least the giant orange one labeled CARROT was more likely to confuse people than to lead them to any conclusions.

"Fair enough," he said. "Most of my bags are relatively small. I wonder what that says about me."

It says that vampires have the ability to turn off their emotions, Damon.

Not the way Angua took it.

"Oh, come on," she complained. "I can't even really take that one because you practically just handed it to me."

"Maybe I'm being easy on purpose," Damon said.

Which was only to be expected of a vampire, really.

"Well, you'd have to be," she said, "with such small...baggage."

Damon made a tsk'ing noise and shook his head. "Dick jokes? That's not very ladylike."

"Har har," said Angua. "I'm a Watchman, what do you expect? Clearly, you've missed my Lacking femininity sparkly clutch."

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Caritas; Friday Evening

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Back Room

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