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fandomtownies2010-07-05 02:58 pm
glacial_queen) wrote in fandomtownies2010-07-05 02:58 pm
Entry tags:
Dite's Decadent Delights, Monday Afternoon
Mini-Morton was back at his 'post' at Dite's again, beeping at Little Strife, the cash register. Whatever they were discussing was unintelligible to anyone else, but they seemed to be enjoying it.
In addition to his usual duties in the store, Mini-Morton had been given a most important responsibility today. In his possession, to be given to 'Dite as soon as he saw her (or left in a prominent location), was an envelope addressed to her in Karla's loopy scrawl.
Dear 'Dite,
I hope you don't mind me not calling you back. My mother's old steward always said that in times of emotional turmoil, it was better for me to communicate my thoughts via letter. It gives me a chance to say everything I'm thinking and feeling all at once, with no interruptions, and exactly as I want to express it, all in my own time. I'm not always great with words and I'm often prone to speaking before I've fully thought something through, so I'm taking his advice and responding to your voicemail this way. There are enough hurt feelings and trouble here to add to it because of a failure to communicate.
I think it goes without saying that you hurt me, 'Dite. You hurt me, Raven, and Max very, very badly and I still don't know why. I think I know you well enough to assume that there is a good reason for why you were like that, and the emotions we felt from you certainly suggests there was, but that doesn't change the fact that you came home and emotionally gutted three people who love you a whole Hell of a lot.
Now I'm the one who is hurt and angry and confused. You turned sex into a weapon to hurt people and then you put me in the middle of that. You know what I've been through, you saw some of what Glacia was like. I might not have been in any physical danger, but that doesn't make what happened much better. I was put there to be objectified, because you needed to hurt people and sex was the most effective way to do that. Before we can do anything to mend what was broken, I need you think about that--about what I left behind and what happened here.
I'm not really mad, 'Dite. I understand what's it's like to be hurt so bad you lash out against your friends. I know what it is to be so angry, you can't distinguish friend from foe. I remember flinging you away and trying to kill Max. I cannot take you to task for doing things I am also guilty of. It's true that you scared me in the shop when we confronted you, but I knew you were a powerful goddess when I came up with that disastrous plan. Everything that happened that night was a risk that we undertook knowingly; we agreed that it was a risk worth taking because we loved you and didn't want to see you give into your rage and pain until there was nothing of the old you left. I forgive you for everything that happened that night, because it was my choice to face in the manner we did.
But Monday wasn't my choice. And I'm having trouble forgiving you for it. Before I can do any such thing, I do think we really need to sit down and talk. I want to, of course. If I thought you weren't worth forgiving, I never would have agreed to that plan, never mind come up with it. But it's going to take time, and work, and talking.
I'm sending this with Mini-Morton to the shop tomorrow. I'm not yet ready to go back. But, now that you've had a chance to read and hopefully understand everything I'm feeling, we can take the next step towards forgiveness.
I miss you,
Karla
[No OCD today because no Karla. Warnings up for the Glacia link: dark themes, abuse, triggering, and probably NSFW text as well. Please click with caution.]
In addition to his usual duties in the store, Mini-Morton had been given a most important responsibility today. In his possession, to be given to 'Dite as soon as he saw her (or left in a prominent location), was an envelope addressed to her in Karla's loopy scrawl.
Dear 'Dite,
I hope you don't mind me not calling you back. My mother's old steward always said that in times of emotional turmoil, it was better for me to communicate my thoughts via letter. It gives me a chance to say everything I'm thinking and feeling all at once, with no interruptions, and exactly as I want to express it, all in my own time. I'm not always great with words and I'm often prone to speaking before I've fully thought something through, so I'm taking his advice and responding to your voicemail this way. There are enough hurt feelings and trouble here to add to it because of a failure to communicate.
I think it goes without saying that you hurt me, 'Dite. You hurt me, Raven, and Max very, very badly and I still don't know why. I think I know you well enough to assume that there is a good reason for why you were like that, and the emotions we felt from you certainly suggests there was, but that doesn't change the fact that you came home and emotionally gutted three people who love you a whole Hell of a lot.
Now I'm the one who is hurt and angry and confused. You turned sex into a weapon to hurt people and then you put me in the middle of that. You know what I've been through, you saw some of what Glacia was like. I might not have been in any physical danger, but that doesn't make what happened much better. I was put there to be objectified, because you needed to hurt people and sex was the most effective way to do that. Before we can do anything to mend what was broken, I need you think about that--about what I left behind and what happened here.
I'm not really mad, 'Dite. I understand what's it's like to be hurt so bad you lash out against your friends. I know what it is to be so angry, you can't distinguish friend from foe. I remember flinging you away and trying to kill Max. I cannot take you to task for doing things I am also guilty of. It's true that you scared me in the shop when we confronted you, but I knew you were a powerful goddess when I came up with that disastrous plan. Everything that happened that night was a risk that we undertook knowingly; we agreed that it was a risk worth taking because we loved you and didn't want to see you give into your rage and pain until there was nothing of the old you left. I forgive you for everything that happened that night, because it was my choice to face in the manner we did.
But Monday wasn't my choice. And I'm having trouble forgiving you for it. Before I can do any such thing, I do think we really need to sit down and talk. I want to, of course. If I thought you weren't worth forgiving, I never would have agreed to that plan, never mind come up with it. But it's going to take time, and work, and talking.
I'm sending this with Mini-Morton to the shop tomorrow. I'm not yet ready to go back. But, now that you've had a chance to read and hopefully understand everything I'm feeling, we can take the next step towards forgiveness.
I miss you,
Karla
[No OCD today because no Karla. Warnings up for the Glacia link: dark themes, abuse, triggering, and probably NSFW text as well. Please click with caution.]