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Caritas | Wednesday

Hannibal was experimenting. He'd brought a toaster from his room into the bar and was now trying to cook Hot Pockets all the way through. And who was testing these Hot Pockets out? Tino, of course. Hannibal gave him some cock and bull story about them being gourmet and a total girl attractor and Tino, being Tino, believed him.

Right now, Hannibal was on his fifth Hot Pocket and Tino was beginning to realize that everything about Hot Pockets was fake and gross.

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Where there are no Hot Pockets, just a band of zombies!

Where's there's a toaster, a Tino, a Hannibal and some Hot Pockets!

Where the Hot Pocket smell surely lingers!

Where you have to make your own Hot Pockets if you want 'em!

I just had a Hot Pocket. Can you tell? I'm gonna be SPish most of the night so mod Tino if you need quick service!

I totes read that as "Hannibal gave him some cock" and thought Tino was really getting lucky this week.

THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME CHOKE ON MY DRINK, FRED.

It was a Wednesday and Angua was in the bar. It was almost as if something got posted a good deal before someone usually went to bed, or something.

Odd day. And no matter how much she told herself to just not think about it, she found herself trying to figure out what the heck was going on behind the bar.

Luckily for Angua, Hannibal could pull himself away from his Hot Pocket experiment long enough to wander over and give her a smile.

"Can I get you something?" he asked. "Hot Pocket? I think I got Meatballs and Mozzarella and a Philly Cheese Steak left."

"You mean that's food?" said Angua after a moment to make the words match the picture.

And this was coming from someone from Ankh-Morpork. That was saying a lot.

"It's the food of champions," Hannibal said proudly, ignoring Tino's head shaking at that. "It bread and meat and vegetables and flavorful goodness all in a small enclosed sandwich. You won't find a better, quicker meal."

"Oh," Angua said, "I bet I can."

She was thinking specifically of C.m.o.T. Dibbler. This stuff made his stuff look practically gourmet, and she really had to ask:

"Does it come in rat?"

Dwarves would love it...

"Not that I know of but they're making new flavors everyday," he said, dropping another Hot Pocket in the toaster. "Tino's been eating them all night and he loves them."

No, Tino looked like he was on the precipice of losing his stomach lining.

"I can tell," noted Angua. "Why, he looks positively green with excitement."

"That mean you want one?" he asked, peering down into the toaster at his cooking Hot Pocket. "It'll be like a date. You and Tino can have Hot Pockets together! He's been looking for a hottie for years to eat crap like that with."

Poor Tino.

Kate showed up fairly late in the evening. Like she intended to maybe have a quick drink and then poke at Hannibal until he'd cave and decide it was time to go home. He just totally needed a hot chick friend to walk him home. Said friend thought so, anyway.

Or maybe some adult supervision.

"... What are you doing now, babe?"

"As romantic as an evening as that sounds," said Angua, "I'm going to have to pass. I'm a vegetarian," let's ignore that there's no way any of that could include real mean, "and sort of dating someone anyways."

"Um, duh," Hannibal said, looking at her like she was insane. "I'm cooking. It's gourmet, babe. Want one?"

Tino was valiantly shaking his head from where he was chugging Ginger Ale.

"Bummer. I'll be comforting Tino all night." Tino didn't care. "Can I get you something to drink then? Root beer float?"

"No thanks, I already ate," Kate replied, rolling her eyes. "Why are you cooking here? And why are you calling it gourmet?"

"Will you be trying to put two straws in it so that Tino also has something to wash his delicious dinner down?"

"Why not cook here?" Hannibal asked, dropping another Hot Pocket into the toaster. "And it is gourmet. It's like all the food groups in one attractive, breaded package. What did you eat? A donut? So unhealthy, Kate."

"Hey, only if you want me to," he joked, grinning. "I'm sure I can make you something more traditional if you want. Beer? Mixed drink?"

"I don't think that's what gourmet means, babe," Kate said. "And for your information, I had a bowl of cerial. It was totally healthy."

Just as long as he didn't ask what kind of cereal it was.

Pfft, he was asking.

"What kind of cereal?" Of course he was gonna ask. "If it was something other than like Raisin Bran or Grapenuts, it was unhealthy. And you can't joke me about what I'm making if you had like Lucky Charms."

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Caritas | Wednesday

The Stage [Caritas 07/14]

The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

The Lounge [Caritas 07/14]

The Back Room [Caritas 07/14]

OOC [Caritas 07/14]

Re: OOC [Caritas 07/14]

Re: OOC [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]

Re: The Bar [Caritas 07/14]