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aphrodite

Streets of Fandom, Friday

For most of this week, Aphrodite had been going back and forth between town hall, her store, and now the library, where she knew the researchers were gathered. She never stayed long at anyplace; research wasn't her thing, there was no news at town hall, and the store seemed perfectly okay.

Until this morning. When it finally had completely disappeared. Only the walls of the labyrinth thingie remained.

This did not make for a happy goddess.

She'd put Herc back in his knapsack on her back, and traded her sling shot for a crossbow. Each arrow was small, but dipped into a love potion. If she couldn't zap these guys, maybe she could potion them into submission.

And now, it was time to put her plan into action. Putting on her best ~~meta for~~Dirty Harry expression, she cocked the crossbow.

"Come on, fellas. Make my day."

What was left of the island was probably giving a collective, 'oh, dear.'

(Expecting at least one, but more would be fun! There will be a Joxer imitation somewhere along the line . . .)

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Which was pretty much the exact moment Max walked around the corner. His stride was smooth, oddly more graceful than usual, and his head moved almost constantly as his eyes scanned the streets and buildings around him.

Which made for an odd sight as he snorted, smiled just a bit, and spoke. "Aphrodite," he said, eyes moving across an alleyway over her left shoulder. He sort of waved loosely with the sword that was loosely held in his right hand.

"Max."

'Dite didn't smile. Luckily, she didn't aim her crossbow at him either. "Wanna go goblin hunting with me?"

She seemed particularly serious. The black leather, with slightly unkempt hair (just for effect, you know), was probably not a look he'd seen her in before. Her other leathers were for showing off. These looked like true biker leathers.

"I'll even leave a few alive for ya."

Not that she'd actually killed any up to now.

Max quirked an eyebrow slightly, still not really looking at 'Dite (not that he hadn't noticed what she was wearing). "Bad day?"

That was a yes.

You could say that, Max.

"My store is gone -- again!" She looked around. "Okay, so most of the island is gone -- again." It still felt personal. "I'm no good at research." Not that she was good at fighting. "But I have to do something."

One less goblin now, was one less goblin to fight tomorrow, right?

"Makes sense." Max took a second to glance over at her. "Want some company?" Just to make sure she was safe out here. Violence wasn't really 'Dite's thing as far as Max could tell.

For the first time, she kind of cracked a smile. "I guess I could let you watch my back."

And then she sobered. "They have Karla, Max." She figured he knew the implications of that.

Max's expression didn't change at all. "We'll get her back," he announced coldly.

As if on cue, there were a number of goblins wandering down the street. They liked this island. Lots of fun people to throw rocks at! Even if most of the people threw rocks back. Or worse.

Had they realized there was a goddess with a crossbow down this street, they probably wouldn't have turned down it. Ignorance was bliss.

"Oh, look." 'Dite nudged Max's arm. "They came to play with us."

Max snorted. "Think they know what they're getting into?" he asked, with a slow, dangerous grin.

Clearly, they didn't. Because they were whispering to one another and pointing at the pair, giggling like they had something particularly fun planned.

You would think they were planning something more elaborate than "let's get close and throw rocks at them," but they were simple creatures and liked to stay with what worked.

And so, they crept closer, trying to look ominous as they did so.

Oh, good. Ominous looking goblins. 'Dite raised an eyebrow and nudged Max again.

"Nope. I don't think they have a clue. I'll shoot the one on the left, you charge the one on the right. 'Kay?"

Though, that didn't really make sense because 'Dite was on Max's right.

"Sounds like a plan." Not what he would have suggested, but it would work. Except that Max's 'charging' was really more of a slow, threatening saunter.

Whatever.

The goblins didn't believe in saunters. When they charged, they charged!

One crossbow bolt hit a goblin's helmet with a satisfying thunk, toppling him over into two more behind him. The rest had decided to get their polearms out, and were using them to charge at the duo!

... except for two nearer to the back, who were a bit intimidated by the crossbow and ... had decided just to hang back and see how things went, before getting involved. Really.

A hit! A ki-- well, a wounding anyway! She grievously wounded -- or at least knocked over -- a goblin!

She stepped back and tried not to watch Max as he sauntered sexily-- No, 'Dite this is not the time to be thinking Max was sexy. Goblins!

"Get 'em, Max!" She'd be just a moment to reload.

Ooooh. Charging was bad. And scary. So, of course, Max turned around and ran away.

Okay, so he didn't actually do that, but considering how scary the goblins were, it's possible that everyone was expecting him to.

Instead of running away, Max swung out with his sword. Not aiming for the charging goblins themselves, but aiming for their weapons. Because it was far less dangerous to get charged by a goblin whose polearm had been cut in half.

It was possible that the goblins had no idea of any sort of tactics -- did they really look that intelligent? Seriously? -- and were gloating about how Max was going to miss, or possibly trying to parry.

Not realizing that his sword could cut through polearms.

The first goblin screamed when his weapon snapped, the spare bit of polearm going flying, and the goblin himself falling into his closest neighbor. Who was going to likewise fall over onto another goblin, nearby, in a lovely domino effect.

This did not stop the goblins, as a few of them were waving the rough-cut edges of their stumpy polearms towards him. It would still hurt if he took one to the face.

Three more goblins were rushing towards 'Dite, taking full advantage of her reloading time. They were hoping to close the distance and slash her up! Or at least, slash up that big mean crossbow of hers!

Edited 2010-12-10 22:02 (UTC)

Finally! The reload! And the shot! Which went *thunk* on another goblin helmet!

Right after it whistled just past Max's left ear, missing him by less than an inch.

'Dite bit her lip in apology and concentrated on another reload.

Which, unfortunately, left the cross-bow at her waist -- riiiight about goblin height.

Max ducked. Of course he did it after 'Dite's shot flew by, but... it was the thought that counted?

Anyway, his ducking took him right into face-poking range of the sticks the goblins now had. Which was bad. He tried waving his sword menacingly to, you know, menace the goblins so they'd stay away.

Another goblin was down for the count. At least the numbers were dwindling. And some of the remaining ones were looking worse for the wear, thanks to Max's sword and its results on their polearms.

Two of the goblins crowding around Max jumped back, hoping to miss the point of his sword. The third, feeling brave, lunged out, aiming to jam the polearm right into his cheek.

No, it didn't occur to him to go for the eyes. Goblins.

As for 'Dite, two goblins had the same relatively bright idea at the same instant -- to jump for that crossbow that was conveniently in range.

One managed to get his hands on it, and was turning around to crow triumphantly about his accomplishment ... just as the other plowed into him.

Which resulted in both goblins going splat and landing right on top of that crossbow. Oops?

Frantically, 'Dite pushed a goblin out of the way and reached down for her weapon. She lifted it -- only to find the front part hanging off, held together only by a string.

Her mouth dropped. "You broke my crossbow!" There was a familiar kind of whine to her voice. "That does it! Now you've made me mad!" She stopped. "Where have I heard that before?" Then 'Dite shrugged.

A long sword appeared in her hand, one that would have been recognizable to a certain bard. "You cretins!" And into the battle she waded, laying about her with her sword --

which would have been far more effective if she wasn't using the flat instead of the edge.

Max was focused on not getting poked in the cheek. Or the eye, for that matter, but that didn't seem too likely at the moment. So there he was, pulling his head back and kicking at the goblin who hadn't backed off, when something smacked into his butt.

With a surprised yelp, Max turned to see what had hit him. "Careful with that thing!" he admonished, taking a couple of quick steps back to get out of 'Dite's reach.

The kicked goblin went sprawling on the ground, helmet covering his eyes as his legs kicked into the air.

The other goblins knew an opportunity when they saw one and dove forward, jumping up to try to climb onto Max. His arms, his back, even his legs if they couldn't jump very high. It was high time for a goblin swarm!

"Max! Look out!"

Which . . . was exceedingly helpful now that Max had been swarmed by goblins.

Unless she meant, 'look out for my sword because it's going to come very close to you while I swing at the goblins!'

Yes. She might have meant that. Because that's exactly what was happening.

Max spun around in a circle, hands reaching back to try to grab the goblins and fling them off. So of course he was too distracted to pay attention to 'Dite's flailing sword.

The flat of the sword was especially good at sending goblins sailing through the air, away from Max, to land on their behinds with an oof.

Between Max's hands and 'Dite's blade, most of the goblins were no longer on Max. And most of them probably had bruised tailbones, to boot.

"Retreat!" one of them shouted. Retreat wasn't all that noble, but it wasn't like they had much dignity to start!

And so, the pack of goblins scraped themselves up as quickly as possible and turned tail to run the other direction.

A few stopped long enough to fling rocks as they left. So there!

"OW! HEY!"

That would be 'Dite getting a rock to her head. It disturbed her hairdo more than anything, but that was enough.

"You little CRETINS COME BACK HERE!"

And there she went, sword high in the air, chasing after the goblins.

Until she ran into Max and they both fell to the ground, 'Dite staring down into his face. Hello, Max!

Max had ended up on bottom.

...

Not dirty.

"Um... hey. Are they gone?"

"Um. They? Oh, the goblins!" She looked around. "Yep. Gone. Cretins."

'Dite, you could get off of him anytime.

"Hey, since I lost my crossbow, you wanna teach me how to . . . swing a sword?" She winked.

Yes, Max, please tea-- wait. What kind of sword are we talking about here?

Max blinked slowly, eyebrows rising.

"Exactly what kind of sword are you wanting instruction in...?"

"Well . . . you know . . . you could . . ." Suddenly there was a rustling in the pack still strapped to 'Dite. Something pinched her. "Ouch!"

And there was a cat head. Slowly, Hercules climbed out of the bag and yawned. He sat down by Max's head, looked at him, and then at 'Dite, and began to clean himself.

'Dite shifted to put most of her weight on her elbow instead of on Max.

"You think he's trying to tell us something?"

"Probably," Max chuckled. "Maybe something along the lines of it being pretty silly of us to just lie around when they might come back..."

"Oh. Oh! Right." Reluctantly, she stood, retrieving Herc as she did. He clamored up and sat on her shoulder. "So. Seriously. Teach me to swing a sword? If that's the only way we'll get Karla back, then . . ."

Max took a deep breath. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, but it's not like he was going to refuse.

"Yeah. Sure. I can at least give you a few pointers."

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