Everything But The Monkey, Saturday Afternoon

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

... Well. For reasons John would not go into further at present, as they were rather sensitive details with rights to a certain incident in upper Baltimore, Sherlock had to identify a particular brand of pet food. And to identify this, they had to go down to the pet shop, which was, at present, made of gingerbread.

John chose not to question it. It was easier on his sanity.

"So," he asked, flashing the proprietor a brief, nervously placating smile as they went from aisle to aisle, "What kind of cat food are we looking for, and why, exactly?"

He did not expect a particularily extensive answer. Or any answer, really.

[[ john's here for sherlock, but pet shop's a public place! ]]

Comments

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

"I will know it when I see it," Sherlock replied, already moving down the aisle. He was aglow with a new mystery, so he was being kind about answers.

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

Oh, very kind. "That's... useful," John muttered, though not with much fire, and padded after him.

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Fingers waggling as he passed over each brand, Sherlock just hummed in response. There was detecting to be done, John. Detecting!

He was going to solve a case with cat food.

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

Yes. Well, John was just... going to accept that his role in this matter would be to follow Sherlock around like a puppy and glance at all the cat food he was dismissing, as if that would somehow clue him on to what they were looking for, exactly.

He glanced past Sherlock, his attention momentarily caught on a catnip plant before he looked back at the cans.

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Sherlock paused at the brand next to the catnip, eyes lighting up. "Yes. Of course!"

He pulled out his mobile and started texting the answer. Which would, of course, be when Fandom took hold.

And the phone clattered to the ground.

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

...

For a moment, John was simply stuck dumb.

Then his eyes slid down from where Sherlock's head was supposed to be, down to the cat.

"...Sherlock?"

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

It wasn't fair that he was suddenly the shorter on in the pair. It just wasn't the way this worked!

Sherlock narrowed his eyes up at him and gave a displeased little noise.

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

"...Right," said John. "Should I--" He stopped mid-sentence, shook his head, leaned down, and picked up Sherlock's phone. Yes, yes he should.

... provided Sherlock had entered the solution before he turned into a cat.

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Well, of course.

Sherlock scampered away, growling at the situation. His--oh dear god--tail fluffed up before settling back down into a sulky crouch. This was the worst day ever.

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

John pressed send, because he figured Sherlock would care about seeing the whole thing brought to an end, then lowered the phone.

"...Right," he said. "Suppose I'll be getting some cat food, then."

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

That earned him a hiss before the horrific urge to groom himself took over. On the plus side, just think of all the places he could get into like this!

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

"You're a cat," John informed the cat, "You have no say in anything."

He took a can at random.

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Sherlock sniffed dismissively, finding it no different as a cat than as a human. Odd that.

After a moment he trotted over to claw at John's leg. He wasn't about to walk outside like this.

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

"Ow!" John cried, shaking his leg. "What is it? Stop clawing my leg!"

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Which earned him a look that questioned every tiny little brain cell he had. All three of them.

Sherlock made another noise, sitting down and staring at him. Do his bidding, John. Do it.

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

... Right.

John stared back at him for a few more moments, then decided to give up. He leaned over and made a grab for the cat instead. "We are going home, and we are going to watch telly until this is over."

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

"Raaaawwwr." He was lucky that Sherlock depended on him to open the door to their rooms.

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

"Good," said John, hoisted him up, and set his jaw.

He kept setting it all the way to the counter, where he paid for Sherlock's cat food. "Don't ask," he told the man briskly, and turned around.