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Fast Eddie's | Afternoon | Sunday | February 13

The thing about having a kid, alternate universe or not, was that she constantly wanted to be entertained. Even after the awesomely bad example he and Caroline had set last night by giving the kid cough syrup to make her sleep, she'd woken up the next morning even more energetic than the day before.

Trying to sleep in was fucking impossible when he had a kid jumping on his back and pulling on his hair. Caoimhe refused to just sit around in their room either, deciding that she wanted to go out and do something. She wanted to have fun.

So, Nathan had picked the activity. That might have been a frightening prospect but he thought he'd done a good job. Of course, as soon as he stepped into Fast Eddie's, he spread his arms wide and shouted, "Bowling!"

Such an ass.

[Nathan's here for two blondes but this is an open place in town so feel free to have families drop in!]

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There was no getting away when he was all holding her by the face and continuing with the confusing niceness that Caroline was starting to suspect was meant to make her go completely insane.

"Trying...?" Caroline was missing the what that went along with that try. Maybe it was the insane thing. He was pretty successful with that part.

Oh fuck, he didn't know how to clarify that well at all. Why couldn't she just read his mind or something? Why couldn't their kid just pipe up and be his translator or something?

"You know, trying." That wasn't helpful at all and he shook his head, looking away. Obviously, she'd already heard that but he was having trouble elaborating.

"Your cheeks are warm. I know, that doesn't have anything to do with anything but they are. And I remember what color your dress was the other night and how you wore your hair and the look on your face when I gave you the lighter and that you like to drink out of my glasses and that my fucking suits don't fucking suit you and that you could beat the shit out of me. I notice. I know. I'm trying...to do more of that."

He might like to remember the way Caroline's eyes grew wide and she chewed her lip while he talked, wishing she was capable of coherent speech because she really didn't know how she was supposed to respond to that.

"Right, trying," she repeated, nodding her head as much as his hands would allow. And if she couldn't will him to grasp her thoughts just then, he could just die a fiery death for all she would care later.

Nathan started to open his mouth to say something else but was promptly and loudly cut off by the other person who'd been patiently watching this and had gotten fed up.

"Hey! Parents!" Caoimhe shouted, sticking her little hands on her little hips. "I thought we were going to get food! I'm starving. I am withering away into a piece of bamboo! I'm going to be invisible soon!"

Nathan's gaze dropped away from hers and swung towards the kid, glaring at her for ruining...whatever they were doing.

Caroline didn't know if she should be thanking the child or throwing her ugly bowling shoe at her for that interruption.

Regardless, she stepped back, taking a deep breath and turning an exasperated face on the child. "Seriously, bamboo? Where do you people learn this brand of crazy drama? Is it an Irish thing or a Young thing?"

And then his hands were empty again. He dropped them to his side and stared at the floor in frustration. Really, he almost wanted to throw a bowling ball down the alley just to work some tension out. Instead, he shook his head and pasted a bright smile on before heading towards the kid.

"Why can't it be a fucking Forbes thing?" he asked, glancing over at her as he passed her. "There are genes of yours in this kid too, you know. You see, we obviously shagged and I knocked you up, providing a mutual mix of our genetic material and this resulting in this interrupting bundle of fucking joy."

He reached a hand out for the kid because fuck if he was going to bowl more after that shit that he'd just gotten so close to accomplishing.

"Um, because I would never randomly start talking about bamboo," Caroline informed him, grabbing for the child's other hand. "And can we be truly certain of that without like, DNA testing or something? Because again with the vampiric nature, Nathan. Plus her teeth are kind of fucked up."

Caroline paused for a moment. "Oh my God, did you have braces, Nathan?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely not," Nathan lied, making a face at her over the kid's head before giving the kid's hand a tug and heading in the direction of the snack bar. Obviously, it was time to eat or do something that wasn't standing in the middle of a bowling lane.

He showed her his pearly whites, all straight and unstained. "My teeth are gorgeous, thank you very much. And they have always been gorgeous. I've always been this beautiful specimen you see before you."

And he'd never ever ever ever let her find out that he might be lying because she'd never let him live it down. "The fucked up teeth? A Forbes, thing, babe. Americans are too fucking lazy to go to the dentist."

"Oh my God, you are such a liar!" Caroline called, being pulled along by the child between them. "You were totally the little white boy with the puffball hair and the long arms and the braces!" It really explained so much about him. "Kiva, back me up here. Tell me about daddy's past."

"Kid, you keep your fucking mouth shut or there's not gonna be any fucking food for anyone," Nathan warned, sending both girl and mother a glare because he did not need his gawky past coming out like this.

"He had braces," Caoimhe said without hesitation. "There are pictures. Gramma shared 'em and Daddy tried to burn them once but you made him stop. He whined. And then pouted until you did something."

She was not saying what that something once. Not without being asked, of course.

All Nathan said was, "Goddammit!"

Edited 2011-02-14 12:25 (UTC)

Caroline's eyebrows lifted at the idea of her doing something to make Nathan stop pouting, but she had finally found a use for this child and she wasn't letting it go so easily even with glaring and threats.

It wasn't like Nathan actually meant them.

"Ooh, pictures!" Her eyes really could not get brighter than that. "I so want to see these now. There is really nothing better than photo album sharing time." Especially since she'd never gone through any awkward stages, unless we counted the unfortunate fashions of the past, but those could not be held against her tiny self.

"I didn't bring any with me," Caoimhe said, frowning up at her mum for forgetting that. "Sorry! I was playing in the yard and then daddy dared me to go into the circle thing and I did so I didn't have time to get things cuz I didn't know where I was gonna go."

Nathan, meanwhile, was grateful for small favors but he did drop the kid's hand so he could stalk forward and pretend like he was pouting or something as the snack bar came into view.

"These are all dirty fucking lies," he said, holding up a finger and shaking his head. "Why you're believing a kid that isn't ours over me is fucking disappointing, Caroline! Disappointing!"

"Oh, so she's suddenly not ours now that she's giving me details?" Caroline countered in a teasing tone, grabbing the child's hands and helping her spin in a pretty little circle since she'd been good and given up dirt on daddy.

"Interesting how that works. Kiva, dear, what other lovely things do you have to share? Something about how daddy sleeps on the sofa or your mum drinks heavily?" She winked over the kid's head at Nathan, whether he saw it or not was up to him.

Nathan might have given her a rude finger gesture in response to that wink. And he might he prayed that the kid didn't say anything else because the braces thing was bad enough even if it gave him great teeth today.

Caoimhe was too busy giggling and spinning herself in a circle to really give up anymore dirt immediately. She kept trying to get Caroline to keep doing it while Nathan watched them with a weak glare.

"Um..." Now she was clearly thinking about to share. "Daddy sings to me at night sometimes! To make me go to sleep cuz sometimes I have scary dreams but I have to man up and sleep in my own bed but he said not to tell about the singing."

Oops.

Look at him telling her she was number one. Caroline stuck out her tongue so maturely before hearing what the kid had to say.

"Oh really? You know, he sang to me once," Caroline shared, still helping the child twirl at a low speed. No puking allowed on this ride. "Bet that was a different song though. Maybe we can make him sing us both to sleep. Might not work as well as the cough syrup, but it sounds like fun to me."

"Now, no one's getting a song," Nathan said, slapping his hands on the snack bar counter and looking up at the menu. "And no one's getting any food either. It's all for fucking me. I'm a growing boy and neither of you deserve food since you're both being twats and I don't associate with the likes of people like you."

So what if he was telling lies? He didn't care. He was gonna order himself some food and ignore the two blonde girls who thought they were funny.

"What's he sing to you?" Caoimhe asked, tightening her grip on Caroline's hands. "Was it a good song? A looooooove song?"

Nathan pretended to ignore that one.

Caroline ignored Nathan's complaints entirely, dancing Kiva around him at the snack bar. It seemed to amuse the girl and it kept her giving up the funny details so she figured there was no harm. "If it had been a love song, he would be a whole lot happier right now," Caroline shared, evil smirk plastered on her face as she told the child how Nathan had missed out.

"You're a wanker," Nathan told her, making a face at that smirk she was currently sporting. He pointed down at the kid and said, "And you're a traitor. All this food's for me, you dicks."

It wasn't a ton of food but he had enough for several people and he was just going to horde it for himself and he tried to move away from their dancing to find a small table where he could eat in peace and she could continue on with being a wanker with their kid.

"He always whines," Caoimhe told her, shaking her head. "He'll get over it. Or he'll get bored. Usually he gets bored. That's how come I get to go so many places with him!"

"You probably do a good job keeping him from getting hit by cars as he stumbles around the world," Caroline joked, pulling the girl along with her to take a seat at Nathan's table. "You know, oh father of my darling child, I have heard that sharing makes food taste better." And look at her reaching into his food to try and take some.

Of course, the kid was going to mimic that and before Nathan knew it, they'd taken some of his food without so much as a 'please' or a 'thank you.' Fucking wankers. Sure, he wouldn't have asked either but that was not the point.

He glared at them both, french fry still in his mouth and said, "You seem to have taken to this better than you were yesterday."

You know, when she'd been freaking out to the point of screeching before he'd calmed her down and gifted her with one of his few possessions.

"Don't I get a 'thanks, Nathan' for that?" he asked, shoving the food more into the middle of the table so they both could reach.

Right, because these were girls bothered by use of pleasantries. The sheriff would have a fit.

Caroline shook her head at the child, munching on a fry. "How quickly they forget. I already thanked him. What do I have to do to keep that memory working?"

She glanced over at Nathan, questioning look on her face. "Gracias?" Maybe a foreign language would help.

"Fuck off, I hate you both," he lied, crossing his arms and sitting back in his chair because being on the losing side of a gang up was irritating and he wanted to win, dammit! Why couldn't he be the one winning?

"The food's good, Daddy," Caoimhe said, showing that she could be somewhat nice when she wanted to be. "Better than when either of you try to cook. That's just..." And she gagged.

"Maybe Daddy should go play video games while you two eat my food," Nathan said, making a face.

"Oh children, no pouting. I thought we agreed?" Caroline asked, checking out his sad little stature of defeat as she wiped her hands on a napkin.

"Let's turn that frown upside down." The taunt was only fun because she reached across to try and physically push his lips into a smile with her fingertips. "Say something happy, Nathan."

"I am not your whore," he said even if it sounded freaking weird with her fingers on his face, trying to move his mouth around. "I don't have to say anything happy if I don't wanna."

Caoimhe started laughing because the face her mum was making on her dad's face plus the funny way he sounded was hilarious to her.

"You're scaring the child," Nathan said, sticking his tongue out at her. "I should have you arrested for child abuse. And parent abuse too."

Caroline stuck her tongue out in response, giving his cheek a light pat as she released his face. "If it was abuse, you'd be crying more. And the kid looks like she's enjoying herself. See what a good dad you are?" Much better than she was.

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