The Streets of Fandom, Best Damn Lemonade Stand Ever, Sunday Afternoon

[the_merriest]

Back when they were both grown-up and sane, Reno and Rikku had decided to host a fundraiser in order to raise money for charity. Hey, they had asked their students to do one, and fair was fair, right?

They had not expected to be very young (and not all that bright) for the actual fundraiser itself.

This morning, Reno and Rikku had decided the best possible fundraiser would be ... a lemonade stand. Obviously.

Not that either of them knew how to make lemonade. They'd gotten some water from a hose, and they threw in some packets of fake sugar (the entire packets, paper and all) as well as some lemons (whole, and unsliced).

That had seemed boring.

Rikku had opted for some lemon-flavored candy, but they had just sat there in the pitcher of water not doing anything. Which was why she had fished them out, chewed them up, and spat them back in.

Reno had gone for chocolate, and was carefully breaking off squares of it to throw in. He was possibly getting more on his hands than in the pitcher, but that was okay, because he could lick his hands before getting the next piece!!!

Don't ask where the meta for GI Joe figurine, floating in the middle of the pitcher, came from; neither of them could remember. Also, don't ask what else was in the lemonade.

The sign read LEMMENAYDE (fer a nickul). Buyer, beware.

(cowritten with and much love to my partner in crime, raspberryturk, whose brilliant idea this was. stop in to buy the BEST LEMONADE EVAR!)

Comments

[solo_sword]

Jaina really should have probably had a bad feeling about this, but when she saw the kids at the lemonade stand, she couldn't not stop by as this was the greatest post ever. "You're selling lemonade?" she checked, because she wasn't sure what word on the sign should have been otherwise.

[the_merriest]

Yay! A cus-- a cost-- ... a person that was gonna buy some!!!

"We gots plenty of lemmynade," Rikku said proudly. "S'only a nickul."

Nickels were thicker than other coins; therefore, they were probably worth a lot. Behold, the logic involved in this feat of salesmanship.

(♥)

[solo_sword]

"Only a nickel? How could I pass that up?" she said, and took a good look at the table. "...Is that a doll in the pitcher?"

[the_merriest]

Rikku scrambled up onto the counter so she could peeeeeeeeeer into the pitcher and squint.

"He's swimmin'," she said, "He's a special agent. An' he's missing an arm 'cause we losted it."

How could Jaina pass up such a wonderful deal? Only a nickel to guarantee some kind of food poisoning!

[solo_sword]

"For a swimming special agent, you could probably charge more," Jaina pointed out. Hey, she could play along. She would be sort of scared to drink anything where she might find the arm by swallowing it, but she could play along.

[the_merriest]

"Okay," Rikku said, lowering her voice to a whisper. "You can has him for two nickuls."

The doll, clearly, was Reno's, which meant it was pure profit on her part if she were to sell it.

The lemonade would lose that special army figurine flavoring, but these were the trade-offs one had to make in running a business.

[solo_sword]

"How about this?" Jaina said, looking thoughtful. "I'll pay two nickels, but I think the special agent should stay in the pitcher. This way I get special agent lemonade-" That sounded better in her head. "-and you can sell it to more people that way."

She did not want to have to figure out what to do with an action figure, basically.

[raspberryturk]

Reno pursed his lips a little, leaning over Rikku's shoulder. She was good for tossing around the sales pitches, but when it came to holding out for a better offer, he was the pro, here.

"Three nickels, an' I can put in extra chocolate!"

Because chocolate lemonade was awesome. And so was his action figure. He'd seen tough times, that action figure. Doing special agent stuff, like blowing things up and swimming in Rikku spit. This lemonade was totally worth the fifteen cents, Jaina.

Honest.

[solo_sword]

She pretended to think really hard about this. "Okay, deal," she agreed.

She had a plan for this, she really did. Because she had no problem with giving kids her money, even if they wouldn't be kids tomorrow probably, but there was an action figure in the lemonade, you know?

[the_merriest]

"Yayyyyy!" Rikku was bouncing up and down, while standing on the table, which was going to jostle the pitcher. Sadly, the pitcher did not tip over, but there was certainly some ... er, "lemonade" getting splashed around.

"We gets three nickels! That's ..." Hang on while Rikku attempted math. "Two each!"

Attempted, was the key word there.

She hefted the pitcher up and began ... it was less pouring, and more aiming it at the poor, unsuspecting cup that was just sitting on the table, which was about to drown in the flood of ... semi-lemonade. And lemons. And chewed-up candy. And ... cough drops? (They had said 'lemon' on the package, so, you know.)

[solo_sword]

Oh, wow, this was entertaining. Even if it was a little terrifying to see everything they'd put in there, which she was now going to pay for. "You're very good at pouring," Jaina said, somehow with a straight face, "but I think the cup's full."

[raspberryturk]

"You just getts extra 'cause you paid more," Reno reasoned, leaning over some more to get a better look at Rikku's amazing pouring skills. "And plus you didn't say 'when.'"

It was very important to say 'when' when there were people pouring stuff for you, you know, Jaina.

[solo_sword]

"When," she said quickly. Very quickly.

[the_merriest]

Rikku jerked the pitcher back, hard, and ... managed to direct the flood elsewhere for a few seconds as she teetered, nearly falling square on her own behind.

The pitcher thunked back into place, amazingly not tipping all the way over, but about half-full at best.

Rikku peeked in with a frown. "We lost some lemonses," she said. "It can't be lemons-ade if we don't got enough lemonses."

Some of the lemons had probably fallen onto the ground. They could be plopped back into the pitcher, right? The ground wasn't all that dirty.

[solo_sword]

"I think you're okay with the number of lemons you have," Jaina said. "And sweetie, maybe you should pour while you're standing on the ground..."

[raspberryturk]

"Awww, I would'a caught her," Reno assured her, wrinkling his nose as he looked down at himself.

Wearing the lemonade was good, too. He could totally wring some of that back out into the pitcher.

[solo_sword]

Yeah, somehow Jaina doubted the catching abilities here. She was sure his getting-landed-on abilities were spot-on, though.

She reached into her pocket to pay, and said, "It looks like I only have a dollar. Looks like you're going to have to take all of it."

[the_merriest]

Rikku's jaw dropped, and now was a good time for her to start jumping, again. Hey, if the pitcher was only half-full, it probably wouldn't spill so much.

"A dollar! A dollar! Reno, we gots a whole dollar!"

She wasn't sure how much money a dollar was, but it was apparently more than fifteen cents and that happened to be super awesome great.

[raspberryturk]

"Wooooow!" Reno made a grab for the dollar, because he was just polite that way. "That's even neater than a gil!"

... In all fairness, Reno was from the slums. He'd seen a gil once, somewhere in that time, and all he really remembered about it was that it hadn't been made out of paper.

[cunningkingfish.livejournal.com]

Hook didn't like children. He loathed them. He despised them. They made his mustache itch and his teeth ache.

So when he ventured out for consumable goods, he was probably the worst person to stop at a lemonade stand.

His lips twitched for a moment.

"Your spelling needs improvement," he greeted.

[raspberryturk]

"Well, how do you spell Lemmynade?"

Really, if they were spelling it phonetically, they were spot on, hook.

"I like our spelling better, Mister Stacheyface. It's creative."

So there!

[cunningkingfish.livejournal.com]

"Oh, what bright little souls you are," Hook said, with a smile that could frighten small animals. "Creative, perhaps. Much like your lemonade recipe, if my eyes do not betray me. Alas, I have not a single nickel on my person."

[the_merriest]

"What do you gots?" asked Rikku, eyes perking. "We assept barters 'n trades."

They weren't fussy. So long as whatever item Hook promised was in some way 'shiny,' he was probably going to be able to buy some lemonade.

... not that he should, under any sane or rational circumstances, want to.

[cunningkingfish.livejournal.com]

"I have many things," Hook said, gesturing as politely as one can with a sharp metal hook. "But I'm not sure your lemonade is... palatable, to say the least."

[raspberryturk]

Reno was a little entranced with the hook. That was shiny.

"Plateable?" Please, don't mind the way he's reaching to see if he could touch the pointy thing, Hook. "We dinnit have any plates that would fit inna pitcher. But if you have some small ones we can put them in, half price!"

So, you know, two and a half cents more.

[cunningkingfish.livejournal.com]

Hook could tell there was no way of actually conducting a conversation with these tots. And he was definitely not allowed to terrorize them. It'd ruin his 'reformed' image.

"Why would I want plates in my drink?"

[the_merriest]

"Cause then you could stab them with your claw."

Hook, Rikku. That was a hook. It was in the name.

"An' if you catch a lemon on it, you gets a prize!"

Spoiler alert! The 'prize' was probably going to be some lemonade.

[cunningkingfish.livejournal.com]

"I do not go... hooking for lemons," Hook said, making a face. "This is polished silver. I don't tarnish it with anything."

Except the blood of his enemies.

[raspberryturk]

"Duh," Reno replied, working his way up from annoying to snotty. "We don't want you to tarnish nothin'. We just want you to stab stuff with it!"

Because they'd even let him do that for free!

[cunningkingfish.livejournal.com]

Hook smirked. "But I do not wish to stab lemons," he said.

[the_merriest]

"Why not?" Rikku asked. "Lemons are all squirty if you stab them."

Yes. Try to argue with that logic, Hook.

[cunningkingfish.livejournal.com]

"Not as squirty as other things," Hook said. "Besides, I'd hate to ruin your precious lemonade."

He was now looking for an exit strategy. He might have to flip over the lemonade stand and blame it on an invisible puma.

[raspberryturk]

"Now you're bein' silly," Reno reasoned, making his way around the lemonade stand and getting up on his tippy-toes so that he could get a better look at the hooky thing. "Nothin' squirts more'n lemons do!"

... Maybe not the lemons that Rikku and Reno had used in this particular batch of lemonade. But the point still stood. Lemons were pretty darn squirty.

[cunningkingfish.livejournal.com]

Hook's urge to maim was rising. So he was about to beat a hasty retreat.

"Oh look, is that a three-headed monkey?" he asked, gesturing behind them both.

Even if they didn't both look, he was turning and hoofing it away.

[the_merriest]

"Where?" Rikku asked. "I didn't see it!"

And of course she took a while looking, which was why Hook managed to be completely gone by the time she registered that the three-headed monkey was probably hiding.

"I guess he's not gonna buy?"

[raspberryturk]

"That's okay," Reno said, smiling like the smug little brat that he was. "I gotts his payment anyhow!"

Okay, so he'd pickpocketed him for the first thing in his huge, fancy pockets that would fit in his wee little hand. Reno was a slum kid. If you weren't good at sleight of hand down there, you went hungry, thank you.

"And it's way neater than the dollar!"

He very proudly held up the spoils of war.

A button.

Insert victory theme here.

[the_merriest]

"Ooooooooh!" Rikku was doing a happy dance. "Reno! We gots a dollar an' a button! We're rich!"