Post Office

[old-and-busted.livejournal.com]

Today the post office was all abuzz about the royal wedding.

No. Not the British one with whatshisname and whateverface. The royal wedding of the Archduke of Ekul Reklawyks and Lady Ratselttab Acitalag of the Ylferif Galaxy.

Unfortunately Comcast didn't carry any of the channels that the Ylferif wedding was on.

Not that K gave a shit. He was busy putting together his weekly report back to MiB and muttering something about the transfer paperwork that just arrived this morning.

K clearly had his priorities in order.

Comments

[politely-terse.livejournal.com]

Now that he'd left Tseng to his own devices, Rude needed something to do while he was on the island. When he wasn't hanging with Reno or enjoying his much-needed time off, that is.

If he'd really needed a job, he could have just asked Rikku for one... but what fun would that be?

The American government's bureaucracy had been completely unfamiliar, but some things were the same anywhere you went. The right combination of bribes, threats, and breaking-and-entering had netted him a birth certificate, driver's license, Social Security card, and everything else he could possibly need for a government job.

And so he strode into the Post Office, giving no outward sign of how pleased with himself he was, and walked up to the man who looked like he was in charge. "Good morning."

[old-and-busted.livejournal.com]

K looked up from his report and surveyed the visitor. "Nice suit," he replied, "How can the United States Postal Service help you today?"

[politely-terse.livejournal.com]

Of course his suit was nice -- he was a Turk.

"It can... put me to work," Rude answered. "I'm Rude. I'm your new employee."

Technically, his new documents identified him as Rudo Turks, of Edgewood, PA, and his transfer papers described him as a model postal worker. He'd only had to break two fingers for the glowing recommendation, too.

[old-and-busted.livejournal.com]

K gave the man an evaluating glance and cocked an eyebrow. "New employee," he repeated, "And did the post office in Edgewood PA let you know exactly what kind of town you were going to work in?"

[politely-terse.livejournal.com]

Rude gave the man an answering eyebrow, challenging him to make something of it. "I'm familiar with Fandom," he answered.

[old-and-busted.livejournal.com]

"Good for you slick," K replied, "Saves me from giving you the grand tour. Tell me Edgewood, what brings such a model employee like yourselfnto Fandom?"

[politely-terse.livejournal.com]

"I'm... familiar with Fandom."

Really, that was reason enough, wasn't it?

[old-and-busted.livejournal.com]

K grunted. "Well then who am I to keep you from happiness?" he replied. "Think you can handle running the shop and doing deliveries of bizarre objects?"

[politely-terse.livejournal.com]

"Whatever you've got, I've delivered... stranger."

Like the severed head of an ancient evil alien.

[old-and-busted.livejournal.com]

Those were the best kind of deliveries.

"Well you're in the right place," K said with a nod. "Welcome to Fandom. I'm agent Mannheim. Postal Inspector. Division six. And I don't care if it's raining Easter bunnies, the mail will get through to its proper destination on my watch. Understand?"

[politely-terse.livejournal.com]

Rude nodded firmly. "And the bunnies...?"

Some people had a problem with the mass slaughter of innocent animals. Rude didn't. If they were in his way, he'd get rid of them in the fastest and best way possible, unless he was instructed otherwise.

[old-and-busted.livejournal.com]

"Follow your own judgement," K replied. "Though the local news may frown upon the death of furry things."

Unless it was the pirate. He could probably be bought off with rum.