fandomtownies | The Boards, American Idol, Saturday

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The Boards, American Idol, Saturday

Today, Jonothon's setup at the Boards was a little different than usual. There was no Pearl Jam on the overhead speakers, though there was the usual amount of paperwork, just organized a little differently. After all, aside from a few notes that needed to be made by the judges, all that really needed to be filled out were the application forms for the would-be Idols.

Who, Jono Cowell suspected, were going to all be truly horrendous.

That said, he was sitting back with a vaguely bored expression on his face alongside the other judges, waiting for the first victims to step onto the stage so that they could get this 'making an idiot of themselves' thing over with already. If nobody left in tears today, then he really wasn't doing his job.

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Try to get your hands to stop sweating, talk to other contestants, fill out the paperwork, wait in that horrendously huge lineup, show off your hideous designer outfits, rehearse, and so on.

Ping in here with your performance, and then the judges will let you know just what they thought of it.

With a no-holds-barred ruthlessness, of course.

Either you're going to get pointed to the door, or else you're going to be handed that golden ticket and told that you're going on to the next round. Either way, you can't stay on that stage forever.

In case you need them for anything else.

They reserve the right to call security on you if you start sobbing at them or uttering threads, though.

When they tag in, of course.

This is absolutely a free-for-all, yes. Our judges are already more or less figured out, but you can feel free to drop in as a cameraman, or someone trying out, or whatever tickles your fancy otherwise.

Troy Jackson leaned back in his chair. "So, think anyone's in it to win it this year?" he asked his co-judges. "'Cause that's what we need, right, dawgs?"

Miley Abdul sipped her ~~booze~~ coffee. "We'd better get some thoroughbreds today," she said, with emphasis. "Thoroughbreds."

Whatever that meant.

Yes, Jono was still there. Obviously. It wasn't as though he had anything better to do with his time than listen to nails on chalkboard and tell people how terribly they were making idiots of themselves.

Actually, he rather enjoyed that last part.

"As opposed to the braying jackasses that we usually see?"

It needed to be said.

"Mm, I imagine there'll be someone who isn't truly awful. Though on an island this size, I'd be surprised if we heard more than the local folk music."

A beat. "I'm half expecting accordions."

"Oh, dude, not accordions. I hate those things." Troy shuddered. "Maybe we should have outlawed instruments again this year."

"Aren't horses kinda pitchy?" Troy asked. "I mean, with the whinnying and all that."

Not that kind of thoroughbred, Troy.

"Not that it ever stops them," Jono sighed, shaking his head and reaching for his bottle.

It was water in there. Really. He'd never do something like bring in some sort of clear alcohol in order to help him deal with the inevitable headaches that days like these tended to bring.

"I'm raising my hand before they even get started the instant I see something as simple as a tambourine."

All Troy knew was that Jono better be planning to share that water. Troy would buy the next round, though.

"The producers are going to want the worst performers to keep their instruments," Troy pointed out. "For the ratings."

Miley didn't get that reference.

"What?"

"Ugh. That means I have to listen to them more than once," Jono replied. It wasn't quite a groan. More like a disgusted grumbling. "They're always more difficult to force off the stage when they think they're actually any good."

"Horses?" What? "I love horses."

It was possible that Miley was a wee bit drunk.

Oh, Miley. Jono just raised an eyebrow, looking tolerantly amused in her direction.

There were some morons that he'd deal with without complaint, of course.

"Never mind. With any luck, we'll get some talent in here, for once."

"That's what security's for," Troy pointed out.

They didn't have security, unfortunately. ~~Yet. Maybe someone would show up.~~

"With their teeth, and their hooves? Aw, dawg, that just ain't right."

Troy was going to kill himself come Monday. Or, at the very least, invest in copious amounts of alcohol to block the weekend from his memory.

Jono really, really appreciated the security.

That they didn't have.

"Thank God," he decided, shaking his head and taking another mouthful of water. Which he'd only share so long as the acts weren't too terrible, and then all bets were off.

"They just, like, they're fierce, you know?" Miley asked, making a sweeping hand gesture to demonstrate. "Fierce and beautiful. And majestic."

"I miss having a career," Miley griped. And took another sip of that tasty, tasty ~~booze~~ coffee.

"Well, at least the exposure is helping," Jono offered. This was intended to be some measure of consolation, yes. "These people certainly look up to you."

Not that they had far to look.

"Not like they used to," Miley complained, leaning her head on Jono's shoulder.

She gave a heavy sigh.

Edited 2012-01-14 19:58 (UTC)

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The Boards, American Idol, Saturday

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