fandomtownies | The Devil's Nest: Saturday, June 16

Like several others in town today, Bo had a book on the counter as she worked.

Unlike most of them, the title had nothing to do with gradations of hue, unless you judged Pixies, Peris and Phoukas by the color of their wings and/or hooves, which Bo did not, though she did kind of wonder if maybe there was some of the last one in her ancestry somewhere and that would explain how the island was nice enough to let her keep her boots when she turned into a pony.

Tiny, on the other huge, vise-like hand? Allllll about the hues.

Which would have been fine with Bo -- fine but OH so JUDGING YOU, TINY -- if he hadn't been flipping through and reading it out loud.

"I hate you, and that's not even physically possible unless he had three arms and a prehensile tail!"

And no, she did not deserve it for last week. No one deserved this. Especially not page eighty-three.

"And it wouldn't be sexy even if he did!"

Tiny chortling sounded like an earthquake in rockslide country.

[THAT BOOK. IT IS IN MY LOCAL FRIGGIN' SUPERMARKET WHY.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Where your bartender also had a copy of the latest Angelica Demesnes and was just this close to putting her research away and retaliating with multi-species orgiastic pirate-hat-wearing purple romance that was still better written and more plausible than the Other Thing.

Edited 2012-06-17 00:16 (UTC)

If you could dance to the wedding soundtrack from Breaking Wind: Part One, you were stronger of stomach than everyone but tonight's DJ, and your bartender saluted you.

Where, even if there were a vampire, there would be no sparkling tonight, nor whateverthefuck it was that humans did when they were thinly-disguised fanfiction avatars of sparkling vampires.

Hand to God, there actually is a Twilight parody called Breaking Wind. It's still on the New Release shelf at my local Family Video.

Why Loki was at a bar was, quite frankly, beyond him. But there he was. With a stamp on his hand and a very concerned expression on his face.

"Dare I ask?"

"Why he's reading that crap out loud?" Bo guessed. "Because he wants my brain to melt and drain out my ears."

The Librarian was not like most Wizards of the Unseen University, and that was not just because he was an orang-utan, but because he believed that Saturday nights were for drinking and beautiful women*. And the Devil's Nest had both.

Which was why he knuckled on over to his usual barstool, climbed up with incredible ease, and gave his ritual slapping-hand-and-ook-ook order, complete with sideways-banana smile.

_____
*It wasn't that the other Wizards didn't enjoy drinking and beautiful women, they were less inclined to admit to it, and there was typically a great deal of stammering and shifting when they did.

Well, that answered all his questions. Wait, no.

"Are all people here so obsessed with reading and viewing implausible acts of fornication?"

"Is that a sideways banana, or are you just happy to see me?" Bo asked while sliding a Buttface Amber Ale across the bar to him.

She blamed Tiny.

"Apparently." Grump-grumpity grump. Someone needed to tale a portal Walesward soon. "I could deal with implausible if they even sounded fun, but no."

Student, Bo. Non-Kenzi student.

The Librarian caught the beer easily in his hand, which wasn't the impressive part. The impressive part was that he caught it without crushing it.

"Ook." It was an appreciative answer that seemed to suggest both.

Loki cocked his head to the side. "Ah, I see."

Succubi were like that.

"I'll take that as an Ook." And hey, thanks to the radio, she actually knew who he was now. "So would you believe I'm supposed to be your teaching buddy, and it took me this long to figure it out?"

She still didn't know why he was, because, um, orangutan, but she assumed Zoe had her reasons. Or possibly her secret crystal meth habit.

Bo frowned slightly. "You see what? And what can I get you that won't get me fired?"

The Librarian tilted his head, which was then promptly scratched, and he asked an inquiring, "Ook?"

But then he let out a chuff that might have been a chuckle, followed by a series of more laugh-similar ooks somewhere around the nature of approval for this kind of a buddy. You didn't get buddies like this at the Unseen University.

"I will have a soda!" They were sugary and amazing, okay? "You are not human."

Ah. One of those.

By which Bo mostly meant 'people with better not-human senses than me, about which I am not sulky at all.'

"No, I'm not," she agreed cautiously, not volunteering any details on how or why. "Cola? Sprite? Mountain Dew?"

Because any teenager needed that much caffeine.

"What can I say; I'm a slow learner, which is probably why I don't actually teach. I do work for the school, though, so I guess it's close enough."

There, there Bo. There, there.

"I have found the Mountain of Dew gives me headaches once the rush is gone. How about a cola?"

"Ook ook ook?"

A particularly observant person might take the slightly pursed lips, the gleam in the orang-utan's eyes, and the elbow on the bar to support his knuckle on the side of his face as an interested gesture, one willing to sit through even the more dull of elaborations if it meant a few more points on his scorecard.

"Can do; one of those, coming up."

The Mountain of Dew?

"Are you not-human too, or just not from around here?"

"I'm your friendly neighborhood security chief, which would be way more impressive if I was chief of anybody but me," Bo elaborated.

"I am Loki of Asgard," he replied helpfully. "I am half Frost Giant and a god in my own right."

And 14.

The Librarian considered this and decided that this security chief was a much better option than the ones back home.

His heavy eyebrows waggled. "Ook ook ook," he said, wondering what sort of security he could go about breaching.

Kid, you were so, so lucky you hadn't actually given her your name when you met her in your last incarnation, and thus were free of hearing Aren't you supposed to be a chick? now.

"Uh...huh." Well, he could be, around here. She didn't want to sound too disbelieving; she knew Hercules, after all. "You don't, uh. Look like a frost giant."

Eric looked a little like a frost giant, maybe.

Page 1 of 3

The Devil's Nest: Saturday, June 16

The Bar [6/16]

The Dance Floor [6/16]

The VIP Area [6/16]

The OOC [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]

Re: The Bar [6/16]