Everything But The Monkey, Saturday Afternoon

[genesishero]

It was a truly noble pursuit. A quest worthy of gods, in fact! Or one god and the closest facsimile the mutant community could muster without possessing someone with a giant flaming space bird. The best that Evan had been able to put together in the way of a chariot (or even a rickshaw) was mostly just a red toy wagon with some gold spray-paint on it, but that was hardly going to stop him.

After all, Loki had the best of ideas. And, admittedly? Evan just really wanted an excuse to play with the puppies.

"There are so many," he said, eyes a little wide as he looked around the pet store. "How do I know when I've found the, um... trusty steed that's right for me?"

He was pretty sure the only thing that was going to fit in his makeshift chariot was a bunch of puppy supplies, but that was fine, right? They all looked pretty tiny and floppy to Evan.

[For one! But open place in town is open for anyone else who needs the pet shop, of course!]

Comments

[abitlowkey]

"It is a mystical bond," Loki assured him from all his watching Midgardian movies and television. "A boy and his dog."

[genesishero]

"You mean... I'll just walk up to the puppy pen, and the dog that's meant to be mine will be there, big eyed and waiting, and we'll both know?"

It really sounded like a good deal to Evan!

[abitlowkey]

"I believe so." They were special people, weren't they?

[genesishero]

Of course they were special! That's why everybody wanted to get their hands on them back home, right?

"Well..." Evan squared his shoulders, looking at the little running area, full of puppies of all shapes and sizes. "I guess that means that there's no use standing back and trying to pick one from here, right?"

A deep breath, and then he strode over to the pen, leaning over to get a better look. And about a dozen pups all pranced over at once to say hello. Hi, little human boy! Were you here to play with them? Play with them all!

"Was... that supposed to happen?"

Sorry, Evan. You're the puppy whisperer now.

[abitlowkey]

"Yes!" Oh, he hadn't a clue at all. He was busy filming this on his phone for all the adorable reblogs he would get.

[genesishero]

It was all about the adorable reblogs!

Evan glanced back at Loki, still not entirely certain what in the world he was supposed to do now that he was over here, and then decided... maybe the right course of action would be to get into the puppy pen with them and play with them for a bit? Clearly there was a puppy gate between him and the dog that would be bonded to his heart forever, and that simply wouldn't do.

And so there he went, climbing into the pen! And getting the attention of even more puppies, so help him. It was difficult to keep his balance when they all kept jumping up against his legs like that.

"I think I'm kind of starting to know what popcorn feels like," he shared, crouching down to say hello to the entire pack. "They'll just bounce me right out of here at this rate."

[abitlowkey]

"They are not that large, Evan." C'mon. Be a godlike being about this, not a boy. "Perhaps if you pet each one to find which is yours?"

Mystical bonds were strange like that.

[genesishero]

Well, that was what made them mystical ones, perhaps...

"I think I can handle that," Evan decided, selecting a puppy at random and giving it a pat on the head. It barked, tail wagging even more than before. And Evan was just about sold on that one, too. Except that all of the other puppies wanted similar treatment, and so he used his other hand to give the next puppy a petting, too. "At this rate, I might need a few extra arms."

Which wasn't impossible, of course. His shapeshifting abilities were one of the ones that his uncle had trained him with the most. But it would be difficult to form that boy-to-dog bond if he was giving them all attention at once.

[abitlowkey]

One on one time, Evan. MYSTICAL BONDS.

"Perhaps if you ask which of them is yours?" Loki ventured. Because sometimes animals talked.

[genesishero]

"Well, I don't really speak puppy," Evan pointed out, "but it could be worth a shot..."

He looked down at the group of pups, some of which were trying to do epic battle with his shoelaces, while others were tugging at the bottoms of his shorts with their tiny puppy teeth, and he cleared his throat.

"Um... excuse me? I don't suppose any of you might know which of you is supposed to be my faithful puppy companion?"

... All of the barking kind of sounded the same to him.

"Maybe try answering one at a time?"

No dice.

[abitlowkey]

Loki sighed, fixing the puppies with a hard look. Why couldn't they be more helpful?

"Perhaps simply the most adorable one should be chosen then."

[genesishero]

Oh! That seemed like a much simpler option! Evan grinned back at Loki and nodded, and then turned back to look at... a couple dozen hopelessly adorable puppy eyes, all staring up at him.

"You're sure I can't take them all, right?"

He was only sort of joking, even as he crouched down a little more, letting the puppies bounce up on him and demand more affection. There were some husky pups that were hopelessly adorable, and greyhounds, corgis, pomeranians... A bunch that Evan couldn't quite put a finger on, little cross-bred mutts that didn't come with papers, but were far too adorable to really need to.

And that one. Bouncing along with the rest of the group, tripping over huge paws on legs that were way too short to afford him any sort of grace. He had a face like a husky, even if the rest of him was sort of sausage-shaped, and a tail that would have curled up over his back on his larger kin flopped around behind him like the tail on a hyperactive dwarf wolf or something. This was probably less due to some sort of proud feral heritage, and more due to the fact that there was some definite corgi influence in there.

"... Him!" Evan scooped the puppy into his arms, and was rewarded with wriggles and barking and a good deal of affectionate licks to the cheek. "Him."

Ladies and gentlemen, the mystical bond.

[abitlowkey]

Loki eyed the puppy critically, mouth pulled down in a frown as though he could force the animal reveal this bond that the Midgardians were so very certain of.

"He is very stout."

[genesishero]

"That just means he's solid," Evan insisted, as the puppy wiggled about in his arms. "And... he has a lower center of gravity. All the better for pulling chariots with!"

Yeah, there probably would be less chariot pulling and far more playing fetch, with this one. Or at least shoelace tug-of-war.

[abitlowkey]

That was a distinct possibility!

"Is he clever at least?"

[genesishero]

"I'm sure he is," Evan replied. "I mean... look at him!"

See how clever the puppy was, trying to chew on Evan's lapels the way he was? Lapels were probably delicious, don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

... It did help that huskies and corgis were both precocious breeds. Evan would likely have his hands full with this one.

[abitlowkey]

....riiiiight.

"We shall find him a collar and leash then," Loki decided with a haughty sniff.

[genesishero]

"And food, and treats, and toys, and a chew bone, and..."

Slow down, Evan.

"Um... A collar and a leash are good starting points, though."

Especially since the puppy was wriggling again.

[abitlowkey]

"And a name! He is in need of a name."

[genesishero]

"Right! A name!" Puppies needed those!

Evan held his wriggling little pup out at arm's length, looking him in the eye and smiling from ear to ear. Er. More than usual.

"So, what will it be, little guy? What should I call you?"

No, puppy. Your name wasn't going to be Bark.

"My Uncle Cluster always talks about musical groups that he likes," he mused, tilting his head at the puppy. "And some of them sound like they'd make pretty good dog names. He doesn't look like a Zeppelin to me, but maybe he's an Ozzy?"

For whatever reason, Evan kind of liked the sound of Ozzy for a tiny loyal minion type.

[abitlowkey]

"Ozzy?" He would be the most adorable horseman of the apocalypse ever.

[genesishero]

"Ozzy!"

Oh there were so many reasons this was so very wrong.

But it was too cute to be anything but right.

"It suits him, don't you think?"

[abitlowkey]

Loki bent down to look the dog in the eye. "I suppose I can see it. Come along, Evan. Ozzy. We need to find the most terrifying collar for him."

[genesishero]

"Something in leather with spikes all over it?"

That sounded properly terrifying. Though it was possible it would lose a bit of its ability to intimidate once it was put around Ozzy's neck, and all.

It was also possible that they didn't make intimidating spiked leather collars small enough for corgi crossbreed puppies.

[abitlowkey]

"Oooo, perhaps with a skull on it somewhere!"

Boys. No. No.

[genesishero]

"Or those little radioactivity symbols!"

Yeah, no. Ozzy was probably going to end up with something in plaid.

Possibly pink. That was just the way these things worked.


[Fleeing for Avengers! SP?]

[abitlowkey]

"Very Hulk," Loki replied knowingly. That dog was going to end up with a pink, rhinestoned collar.

[But of course!]

[genesishero]

Possibly with jingly bells on it.

"Ozzy? Smash!"

Ozzy continued to wriggle happily. That was about the same as smashing, right?

[abitlowkey]

Yeeeeeah. "We can always train him."

[genesishero]

"And then he'll be the most smashy puppy on the island! Won't you, Ozzy? Will you smash for me?"

Ozzy barked. Possibly in agreement. Possibly in excitement. Possibly because there were people looking at him and the lapels he'd been gnawing were out of his reach now.

Whatever it was, Evan was going to take it as a sign. This dog was totally meant to be his.

[abitlowkey]

"And paint him green!" WHAT. NO. BAD, LOKI.

[genesishero]

"Green is a great color," Evan replied diplomatically, because he was talking to Loki here, "but we'd probably have to be pretty careful what kind of paint we use. I don't think Ozzy will be doing much smashing if he gets sick."

It would be very, very sad smashing.

[abitlowkey]

"Well. Spinach would not make him sick." Possibly.

[genesishero]

Evan wasn't positive about that one, so he squinted a little, and then decided he'd just Google it once he got back to his room.

"Maybe spinach," he allowed. "I guess, if we can find a way to make... paint out of it?"

Spinach paint! Totally a legitimate thing, sure!

[abitlowkey]

Totally! "Or simply magic," Loki added, grabbing a food bowl.

[genesishero]

"Or simply magic," Evan laughed. "That's probably more healthy for dogs than paint, anyway."

Well. That was the theory, at least.

Evan wandered over to a wall of toys, and after some thought he made a reach for the squeaky pork chop.

[abitlowkey]

"And it will allow me more practice!" And hopefully not end with the poor dog being transported to a different realm.

[genesishero]

Even if it did end that way, Evan had faith in Ozzy. Ozzy was a scrapper. He could feel it.

"Win-win!"

[abitlowkey]

Ozzy would end up facing off against a helwolf. You just know it. And he would win.

With adorableness.

"See, this was an excellent idea!"

[genesishero]

"I have no complaints," Evan announced, giving the squeaky pork chop a squeeze. "And I don't think Ozzy does, either!"

Judging by the way that fluffy tail was flopping about, at least.