fandomtownies | The Devil's Nest: Saturday, 9/8

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The Devil's Nest: Saturday, 9/8

"Bitsy!"

To be fair, Bo said that when she could only see the woman at the door from the back, because she was turned around and hanging up the "One Free Shot If You Hate Everything Today" sign.

The "Ohhhh..." came when she turned around and Bo could see the Tina nametag. "Sorry, wrong kind of weird. I thought it was Impossibly Hot Fake Sister Weekend."

Tiny...Tina... just blinked at Bo, then grinned, very, very slowly.

"What? You would've slept with her too if she wasn't your impossibly hot fake sister!"

Bo had no idea what the repeated snickering from the doorway was all about, but she did her best to ignore it as she set up the bar.

[Open!]

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Where your bartender considered whether Eric would object to the sign out front, then decided if he did, she'd just remind him of the last time this happened. With pictures. Because she was That Kind Of Succubus.

"Remind me again why I stay on this island."

"So you can get wolf-whistled at by hot bi chicks?" Bo would not say such a thing without demonstrating with musical accompaniment.

"You always know how to cheer a lady up," Guy replied with a grin. "Beer?"

"That's my job. The cheering and the beering." One beer, coming up. "Though you promised to show in uniform the next time you were a girl."

He had promised no such thing. She'd just bitched about the fact that he hadn't, last time.

"If the beer is good enough..." MAYBE.

"So you're saying I should swap this out for the Sam Adams?"

Guy rolled his eyes at that. "Ha ha. It's just my usual uniform, you know."

With curves.

"I bet our kid would be happy to redesign it for you."

"Ugh, I'm not wearin' a thong. Not now, not ever," Guy shot back.

"Wuss," was Bo's oh so mature response.

"I respect women too much."

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

"Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Bo would just be stealing that line, thanks.

"Shaddap." He was going to drink his beer and nurse his wounded pride, thanks.

"Hey, he might not design you a thong, you know. I mean, he wasn't wearing one."

THANK FUCKING GOD.

And there went Guy's head hitting the bartop. "Please don't remind me."

"I discovered the only way to get past it without a concussion was to decide it's funny," Bo explained somewhat sympathetically, trying to slide a bar-towel between Guy and the counter for a little safety padding there.

"Thank you," Guy muttered, accepting the towel after a small pause to consider what could be on it. Then went on with it anyway.

A CLEAN ONE, GUY. God, she wasn't Tino.

"Stop it. That face is too pretty to bruise up."

Coulson strode up to the bar and took a seat before looking at the sign. "What if I'm generally okay with today because I can see the humor in it? Any discount for that?"

"Not really, but if you make up something believable to bitch about, I could still give you the other discount," Bo suggested after considering it for a moment.

"Women's underwear is less comfortable than I expected," Coulson offered. "It drives me insane enough that I could deal with a discount."

He didn't seem terrible uncomfortable or insane.

Bo tilted her head for a moment, considering the merits of saying And now you know why I'm not wearing any before deciding that joke was more of a Guy-and-or-Mitchell joke than a complete stranger joke.

"Did you spend a lot of time considering how comfortable women's underwear would be before you turned into one?" she asked instead.

"Does my answer play into this other discount at all?" Coulson checked.

"Nope. Just curious!"

"In that case, not really," Coulson said. "But it's come up once or twice in conversation over the years."

"Points for truthful, if not for funny," Bo decided. "Also, what are you drinking?"

"I think the weekend calls for the girliest drink you have," Coulson said. "If I'm going to look like this, I'm going to own it."

After Bo finished laughing, she said, "Screw Tiny, you get the discount just for being man enough to say that."

Though it took her a moment to come up with the girliest possible drink. "Cotton candy martini?"

Carl took a seat, taking his tape recorder and camera from his shoulder and setting them on the bar. "Nice place. If I only hate a few things, can I get a scotch?"

"You can always get a scotch." Bo nodded. "Just not always for free. Especially since Tiny might kill me for giving you the discount when you're still a guy."

Although... "Unless you're usually a girl?"

Welcome to Fandom life, Kolchak.

"I'm willing to pay, but free would have been nice." He slid a few bills across the bar at her. "And no, I'm usually me. Is there something going on?"

"Not with me." He looked like a guy who knew his scotch, so Bo didn't bother asking him what sort; she just hauled out the good stuff. "I'm usually Bo, by the way. Tina over there, on the other hand..."

"Carl. Of the Gazette." Carl looked back over to the bouncer who'd given him quite the eye when he'd entered. "Yeah? She's quite, uh, impressive..."

"She's pretty impressive when she's a he, too. Which is most of the time."

At that, Carl gave Tina a full look and a half, then turned back to Bo and reached for his drink. "Okay. Either that is the best job I have ever seen, or you're about to tell me something that will guarantee I buy another drink."

"They're real. They just aren't usually there." Not that Bo had actually verified the realness, but a girl knew these things.

Well, a girl who was a succubus knew these things.

"This town..." Carl shook his head and sipped his scotch, reaching into his front pocket for his notebook with his free hand. "So okay. 'He' wakes up today and suddenly he's a she? Sort of a reverse of the stolen kidney story?" He may not believe it's true, but it was something. Maybe chemicals had leaked into the water or something?

"I guess? Minus the bags of ice, the bathtub, and the surgery, and plus half the guys in--" Airquotes. "This town."

Judging by the fact that Dude Looks Like A Lady was the tune playing when Bo walked over to check the area out, the new DJ with the red hair and the 38C rack actually was a woman. Or he had an admirable sense of humor.

Where Eric might or might not actually need pictures to convince him that tonight's discount was a good thing.

Where your hostess is currently etching a LACROSSE badge for her Ace jacket because she is a nerd.

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The Devil's Nest: Saturday, 9/8

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