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The Park, Saturday Evening

So, waking up as a woman ranked high on the list of 'terrible things that have happened to Derek'. Not at the top of the list, but it was still pretty high up.

It was a long list.

So, what better way to deal with all of this than to find a tree to lurk by in the park? You all have your ways of dealing, he had his. Just be glad there weren't anymore teenage boys on island to threaten.

[[Open for all the awkwardness]]

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Looks like you were just gonna have to deal with having a teenage girl who was formerly a guy to threaten, Derek. Like all Beacon Hills residents, Stiles was prone to taking long walks for seemingly no reason whatsoever, though tonight he might've been heading to the bar again. He'd have to make it a frequent thing if he hoped to make a dent in Derek's paycheck with just Cokes.

But first was walking through the park and trying not to trip over his sweatpants too badly. No way he was wearing girl clothes, he had enough trauma in his life without crossdressing.

Well, at least there was no full moon or murderer on the loose to make this walk seem just silly when you think about it. Just your average Saturday evening.

As a chick.

Derek's expression went from a blank 'my life is paaaaain' to 'oh, you have got to be kidding me' once he noticed the familiar scent. Because, so sorry Stiles, he wasn't going to buy that a girl was walking around in your clothing.

Which meant that dark, shadowing figure that Derek cut in the night detached itself from a tree to lurk up on the kid. Just waiting for that opportune moment to cheer himself up.

Hey! A girl could be wearing his clothes! If she, you know, got something spilled on her outfit and there was literally no one else around to give her spare clothes.

Anyway.

Stiles didn't really notice he was being lurked on (did he ever?) and actually thought he was quite alone right now. Which would be why he was singing a Taylor Swift song to himself, occasionally skipping a beat when he tripped over himself.

He would listen to Taylor Swift. Didn't Stiles know that dub step was the way to go?

Derek lurked along behind him for a moment before wondering just what it would take to get noticed. Then started walking at a normal pace, like a normal person.

Normalish person.

"Stiles."

Well that was enough to make Stiles let out an ear-piercing shriek. Which might have happened even if he was a guy, let's be real.

He whipped around and shoved at whoever scared him. He already had his suspicions as to who it was so he didn't feel really bad when he accidentally shoved at Derek's boob.

Right in the boob, Derek!

Had this kid just--? Seriously?! This is why you're not allowed to have a leather jacket, Stiles. This right here.

Derek responded in the manner that all Dereks must respond to such things. By glowering at him. A lot.

Oh, you were gonna get killed soooo bad.

Stiles had been ready to yell at Derek for being a jackass but that all kind of went away when he got glowered at. And he knew it was Derek because nobody else would glower at him like that.

"You scared me." Understatement.

"You're an idiot." That was 'Derek' for 'an aging werewolf with a walker could have snuck up on you'.

"What?! Why?" Stiles asked, looking insulted. "You're the jerk creeping up on people, I should buy you a friggen bell to wear or something."

Did he need a reason to day it? Nope!

"Go back to the dorms."

DEREK. LEARN YOUR LESSONS ABOUT ORDERING STILES AROUND.

"And again I ask: why?" Oh Derek, you should know better. "It's not the full moon, the one vampire in town doesn't want to kill me and the only thing wrong with the island is an excess of boobs. Which isn't even a problem, really."

"Because I said so. How about that?"

So not gonna fly.

"How about no?" You were so getting a KStew bitchface right now, Derek. "I don't have to listen to you, wolf boy. Ever. We've been over this."

Well then. There wouldn't be any spider-monkeying around in the woods later, Stiles. Deal with it.

"I think you do, actually." Because he was still more muscular. Which was not difficult to do.

He didn't want spider-monkeying from you anyway, Derek!

"So, what, I'm expected to spend all my time in the dorms from now on?" Stiles asked. "Or else you'll loom at me or something?"

Eric didn't dazzle, Stiles! Not without the help of a gay bar!

Derek shrugged. Because this was already making him feel better about having lady parts. Stiles you were magical like that.

"I think I'll take the risk and go wherever I want, thanks," Stiles said, rolling his eyes and turning on his heel so he could attempt to head towards town again. "And for the record, you make for a hot girl but you're way less scary with the boobs and the hair."

Stiles, goddammit, learn to shut your mouth.

Yes, the mouth shutting might have helped him out just a smidgen.

"Thanks," Derek deadpanned. "I'm glad to know that."

Could you just feel how glad he was? Wait... wait... no, that's more vague homicidal urges.

"Happy to help," Stiles said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a discount to take advantage of."

He turned his head to give Derek his best impersonation of a Lydia Martin "you suck but I don't have time to tell you why" smile, but it quickly got wiped off his face when he saw Derek's homicidal look.

And that would be him walking a little bit faster.

He was onto you, Stiles. And would get back for this stupid discount because you were too dumb to stay away from Eric. And also Derek getting his ass kicked.

Goddamn vampires.

Derek glared at him extra to make sure that pace kept up. Just in case someone decided to stick around.

Coulson - wearing a very snappy lady's business suit because of course - made his way through the park on his way to a night on the town. He couldn't help but notice the young lady lurking as he did so.

"Excuse me," he said in the same authoritative but gentle tone he usually used, only more womanly. "Are you waiting for someone?"

Very womanly indeed!

Derek gave her a look, mouth pulled down in a frown. He was not going to have anyone falling in love with his smile, thanks. "No."

"Just generally lurking, then?" Coulson checked.

Heeeeey. Uncalled for, Coulson! Accurate, but uncalled for.

"Standing. Is that a crime?"

"Probably not," Coulson said. "Maybe a little weird, though." He held his thumb and index finger a tiny bit apart to show how little the weirdness was.

Werewolf! It was expected!

"And what are you doing here?"

"Enjoying a leisurely stroll through the park," Coulson said. "And the company of town denizens such as yourself."

And such pleasant company it was! Derek crossed his arms over his chest, both eyebrows going up as though daring him to continue this lovely conversation.

"To be fair, it is a nice night for standing by a tree and trying to be imposing," Coulson offered.

Um. Excuse you. He wasn't trying, he was succeeding.

Did you see how quickly he scared off a teenager? Oh yeah. That shit took some real skill there.

Derek glared a little more. Because he didn't hold conversations well.

Coulson matched Derek's eye contact, only he had a slight, pleasant smile. It was as if he was waiting for Derek to consider exactly how nice the night was.

Oh, this could go on aaaaall night. Just you see, Coulson. Just you see.

Coulson could, in fact, see. Because his eyes were open and watching Derek. His head tilted slightly as if continuing to consider the night himself.

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The Park, Saturday Evening

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