From MST3000 to Il Pollo, Sunday Evening

[dollpocalypse]

A year ago today, Topher and Billy had been tricked into seeing Assignment: Improbable 4 together, then accidentally fell asleep on the couch together watching Space Battles and woke up as girls. A very generous person or Tony Stark might term that a date.

Today, Topher and Billy had seen Hansel and Gretel: Warlock Slayers totally of their own accord and were now going to dinner. That was definitely a date.

"So was that offensive to warlocks or anything?" Topher wanted to know as they left the theater, popcorn-sticky hands shoved into his pockets for warmth. Seriously, this thirty-degree nonsense had to stop. "'Cause you're cooler than any of the ones in that movie, I'm just saying."

[[for the booooy!]]

Comments

[selfhelphero]

"I wasn't offended, but then, I use my powers for good. People who don't have totally earned getting roasted," Billy said. "It was probably a good idea to do the movie and then dinner. That was kinda gross."

[dollpocalypse]

"Are there people like that where you're from?" Topher wanted to know. "You know, with the warts and the creepiness?"

[selfhelphero]

"Well, we've got our fair share of creepy people, and people who wear masks because they're disfigured in some way, but I don't know if we've got any double double toil and trouble types," Billy admitted. He smiled at Topher and reached out to try to oh-so-casually hold his hand. "Do you think you've got anyone like that where you're from?"

[dollpocalypse]

"Definitely not," Topher said firmly, swinging his arm with Billy's hand in his. Wrong side of the Whedonverse for creepy witches, for sure. "I think the closest we get is, like, hack fortune-tellers and old people."

[selfhelphero]

"That's good, although it does mean a lack of hot people running around in leather saving towns," Billy said, laughing. "Which is such a shame."

[dollpocalypse]

"Spandex is better anyway," Topher said reflexively. "And we have joggers. They're more pointless, but..."

[selfhelphero]

"You make me feel like I should show up to your room in costume more often," Billy teased. "I think leather and spandex are equally awesome."

[dollpocalypse]

"I would never say no to that," Topher informed Billy solemnly. "As in ever. Your costume is badass. Even if it grossed Kate out when I made her aware of that."

[selfhelphero]

"She doesn't think my costume is awesome?" Billy said, faking a pout. "That's so mean of her, because I like hers."

[dollpocalypse]

"Oooh, what's hers look like?" Topher asked, pushing open the door to the restaurant that they'd handwavily arrived at and letting Billy go first. "I tried looking it up, but I don't know her code name, so that... didn't work."

[selfhelphero]

"It's kind of spandex-y too, and purple. More suitlike than mine," Billy said, keeping the door open for Topher and dropping his voice so no one else would overhear him. "Her code name is Hawkeye, but don't tell people, 'cause it might be kind of awkward."

[dollpocalypse]

"You got it," Topher promised. As a waiter led them to a table, Topher couldn't help grinning a little sheepishly at Billy and admitting, "It's really cool that you trust me with this stuff. People usually don't."

[selfhelphero]

"We've been dating for a year now. I think it's safe to say I can trust you," Billy said. "I like having someone to talk to about stuff."

[dollpocalypse]

"And your life is totally exciting, so I like it too," Topher assured him. Then, teasingly, "And I did notice the one-year thing. Since, you know. Hi."

It was an anniversary date, after all.

[selfhelphero]

"Hi," Billy said softly, grinning at Topher. "I am totally happy to share my exciting life with you. It makes it seem more exciting."

[dollpocalypse]

"Because I'm so normal," Topher filled in, but as little as he liked thinking of himself as average under normal circumstances, it didn't bother him when it was Billy. "I'll take it. It means I get to judge all the people who aren't as good as you at what you do."

[selfhelphero]

Billy laughed, ducking his head down as he blushed. "I don't know, there aren't a lot of people who are worse at what I do than I am. I'm still learning."

[dollpocalypse]

"Yeah, but from my perspective, I can just be all, 'oh hey, Billy knows what he's doing and everyone else can suck it' 'cause I've barely ever seen you fight," Topher pointed out. "...Actually, that makes me sound like a soccer mom. Never mind. Billy, there is lots of room for improvement," he amended with a nod.

[selfhelphero]

"Oh, gee, thanks," Billy said, reaching over and giving Topher's hand a squeeze. "I'm glad you haven't had to see me fight much. That means we haven't gotten into much trouble."

[dollpocalypse]

"You know I'm actually a fan of trouble, right?" Topher teased. "I mean, not when Tony's virus was going to eat us, 'cause that was scary, but the Doombot thing was cool."

Apparently there was a line.

[selfhelphero]

"Unfortunately, most trouble tends to lean towards the getting eaten side, not the cool robot side," Billy pointed out. "Most bad guys want to wipe out the good guys, which makes being a good guy a little harder... and I'm not really making that sound fun, am I?"

[dollpocalypse]

"Not really, but does anyone actually go into your line of work because it sounds fun?" That was an honest question, actually. "It still sounds badass. Definitely not something I'd do as a career choice, but badass to hear about and help with from the sides, for sure."

[selfhelphero]

"You have a point. Most people get into it to try to do something good. It's that, or sit at home and not use their powers for anything but themselves and... I don't know, I'm sure that works for a lot of people, to hide and be safe. I just don't think I could ever do that," Billy said with a shrug.

[dollpocalypse]

"I think it's 'cause you're a better person than most people," Topher said, completely sincerely. "A lot of people with powers could probably, you know, become athletes and cheat with superstrength or something. Or at least think about it."

[selfhelphero]

"Ugh, like I'd ever want to be a jock," Billy teased, giving Topher a little nudge under the table. "You're a better person than most people think you are too, you know."

[dollpocalypse]

"You think?" Topher actually hadn't heard that before, and it was surprisingly nice to be told that. "I mean, I think I'm pretty okay too. Good to know I pass the test and you're not one of those heroes who accidentally dates the bad guy."

...Yeah, about that...

[selfhelphero]

"You're not a bad guy. You've been working so hard at learning social cues and being a better person. It's been awesome to watch, and I know I'm totally biased, but..." Billy trailed off, grinning at Topher.

[dollpocalypse]

"Thanks," Topher said, grinning down at his plate. "I mean, I'm trying, 'cause you're... you, so I have to work pretty hard to catch up to that level of good-person-ness." That was teasing, for the record. "Anyway, if I'm gonna go help out with your friends or some other team after graduation, they'll probably want me to be... you know, nice. So."

[selfhelphero]

"It's a lot easier to be a good guy if you're nice. Although, it's not a requirement. I mean, Wolverine's kind of a jerk, but his heart's in the right place," Billy said.

[dollpocalypse]

"...Wait, so like, people volunteer to be on superhero teams even with people who are kind of assholes?"

Topher, you'd met future Tony Stark, how hard was this to believe?

[selfhelphero]

"Well, yeah." Because really Topher, Tony. "You have to take what you can get."

[dollpocalypse]

"Huh." That was very interesting. "Do you think that means that some of the villains are, like, nice people? That'd be pretty awkward."

[selfhelphero]

Billy shook his head emphatically. "No, no way. If they were nice people, they'd be on our side. That's how it works."

[dollpocalypse]

"I don't know, they could have really bad ideas about killing and whatnot but still have a good sense of humor or something, couldn't they?" Topher, this was not a safe train of thought for you, sweetie. "But it'd kind of mess up the whole thing where the good guys banter and the bad guy makes creepy threats if they were actually, like, trying not to laugh at each other's jokes while throwing weapons at each other."

[selfhelphero]

"Good guy banter is definitely the best," Billy said with a laugh. "Some villains have the best of intentions, and they're not all homicidal. But they're all usually bent on some kind of destruction, so..."