fandomtownies | Town Hall, Monday Afternoon

"Hello," Ron said to the government stooge manning the front desk, "I ran across a gentleman in the woods who left me some papers that upon further examination appear to belong to your office. I will be leaving your town today, and so I wish to return them."

The government stooge took the papers without another word and looked them over. Then looked Ron over. Then looked the papers over again. Ron turned around to go, since he had not come here to deal with bureaucracy.

"The man who gave these to you," the stooge said, "was he tall and made out of metal?"

Ron paused. "Yes," he said, "He looked like a decent sort. Now, if you don't mind--"

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you leave yet," the stooge said respectfully. "You appear to be our new mayor."

Ron turned around. "...Excuse me?"

"You're our new mayor," the stooge repeated. "It says so both on this form and in our files. Mister Ron Swanson. Former director of the Department of Parks and Recreation of Pawnee, Illinois."

Ron started giggling. "Mayor?" he said. "Mayor." Hee hee hee hee hee. "Mayor."

"He said my first duty would be to point you to our collection of classified files on the town's populace, so that you can prepare yourself properly--"

Ron stopped giggling.

"Point me to these files," he said, barging past the stooge. "And the shredder!"

[[ open! but slow. because face ow. ]]