fandomtownies | Luke's, Wednesday

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priestly

Luke's, Wednesday

Priestly's hair was mussed, and his kilt on slightly crooked. He had a massive pile of sandwich fixings laid out on the counter, rescued from his currently . . . otherwise occupied kitchen, and The Magnetic Fields playing at high volume on the dining room stereo. To drown out the noises coming from that currently otherwise occupied kitchen.

Really, he hadn't known his kitchen staff even got along that well.

Either way, Priestly was out here, humming along and building some really, incredibly tall sandwiches. And trying not to think about -- things. Like his kitchen staff. Or the links Dinah had sent him last week. Or Dinah. Or any of the many gorgeous women on the island.

Or pretty much anything, really.

Today's specials
vertigo sandwiches
now hiring! most shifts available!

Luke's was open.

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You're going to need a bigger mouth.

Ladies, please pardon any chest staring he might do. Gentlemen . . . well, he'll probably stare at you, too, but won't entirely know why.

If Dinah had known what week it was... well, let's just assume she would have put off calling. Probably?

*Dinah's ringtone of bounciness!*

That would be Priestly dropping a sandwich with a high pitched snorting sound.

Ringtones were not supposed to me you feel that way.

"Uhhhh hey," he said, lacking some of his usual verve. He cleared his throat. "Hey Dinah, what's up?"

HE WASN'T HAVING ANY INAPPROPRIATE THOUGHTS AT ALL, THANKS ISLAND.

"Hey dude." NEITHER WAS DINAH. THANKS, KARLA AND MOMOKO. Oh, who was she kidding. But that was fine! ... moving on. "Uhh, have you heard from either Karla or Momoko in the last day or so?"

"Yeah, Momo sent me this weird text." thanks for the nice neutral topic! "What'd you do that was so mean for April Fool's?"

"I told them we were getting married. And they immediately went Bridezilla's Mom on me. It was scary." Dinah shivered in remembrance. "I should've had to work way, way harder to convince them, but no, I mention wedding and BAM! Suddenly they're planning the outfits and flower arrangements and what the hell, Priestly?" Gah!

Priestly's eyes went wide. "Why would you do that? They're already rabid enough!"

And yeah, not even Priestly could miss their shipperiness for that long. He kept half expecting to stumble on weird RPF fanfic porn about them in one of his searches.

". . . And why do they think they get to say what our wedding looks like?"

"I just wanted them to admit it! Instead of pretending to be sneaky with all the damn hints!" Half the time Dinah had been in denial about what they were insinuating off and on, and rolled her eyes. But it had seemed funny then! Funny!

"I have no idea. Maybe they're both frustrated wedding planners and they think I can't plan my own damn wedding." Dinah huffed in frustration. "Oh, and get this. That time we ended up locked in the closet? Guess who arranged that?"

Priestly groaned. "You gotta be kidding me. I've been blaming the island for that."

No wonder Fandom was so mean to him. She was mad at him!

"Karlaaaa," Dinah growled, rubbing her head. "Why she thought that would work..." She threw one hand in the air, and said, "I mean, not that it was a hardship or anything. You know this is not me rejecting you on any kind of physical level, right? 'Cause.. no." Ahem. Speed-skating over this part of the conversation! "But marriage?"

"She knows that life is not actually a sitcom, right? She can't just meet-cute us and expect dominoes to start falling." Priestly shook his head. "And, uh, yeah! You, uh, too." And there was the awkward again. "With the not rejection . . . physically. . . . Okay, so look, remember that time we kissed at the flower shop in high school?"

"Uh, yeah? With the sexy leaning and the voice thing?" What? It had been memorable! "And having to spritz us with the water bottle to break ourselves apart..."

Ohhhhhhhhhh. "Oh, you are kidding me. Right?"

"Love is in the fucking air," Priestly said. "Soooo, uh. Talking about finding people sexy is not a great idea right now." Priestly stared down at his deeply unsexy sandwiches and tried not to have carnal thoughts. "Yep."

"...ohgodIamsosorry." That week had been the worst. She wasn't even going to remind him that he owed her porn. "I swear I had some other thing to tell you about, but now I can't remember what the hell it was."

Crickets chirped.

"You need to go out and get sex. Yes. Kill so many birds with one bang!"

"I could see if that hot doctor has anything going on tonight," Priestly said. "I mean, she probably does, what with being hot and pretty goddamn forward, but it'd be worth a shot."

Maybe she'd just let him join in.

Pardon Priestly while he spaced out imagining all sorts of variations on THAT scenario for awhile.

. . . OH GAWD NOT THE PONY.

"I hate this week."

NO. THE PONY WAS OFF-LIMITS. AND KIND OF HIS MOM.

"Awww, Priestly." Poor guy. "Look. This week, it's like a weird Fandom weekend. Free pass. Go to Devil's Nest, buy a girl a drink, take your chances. Or just call up that hot doctor and be up-front. Or both! Both would work!" A pause. "I'll send more porn, if you need it."

'Cause that's what best friends did for each other.

"Noooo!" Dinah porn had Dinah all over it and that was not how he needed to be thinking about his best friend, just now. "I suspect there will lots of people trying to pick up all the other people in the bars this week. Which I guess makes this weekend good practice?"

"No? 'kay." Dinah blinked, not totally clear on that reaction, but then re-focused. "Exactly! No one is going to take it too seriously. Everyone wants it! Just be yourself. Oh, and do the lounging thing. That's got bonus points attached to it." She grinned. "I was gonna visit this week, but now I'm thinking, not."

Momoko and Karla so didn't need that kind of ammunition that a week of hormones would give them.

"Wait, what's the lounging thing?" Priestly needed to take notes. "Oh, and yeah, by the way, whenever you do end up visiting. There's a new Dean in town. He's, uh, kinda crashing on my couch for the time being."

Forewarned was fore-not-freaking-out-as-though-Priestly-had-shaved.

"A new Dean? So, not the same Dean that's Sam's older brother? Hunh."

Forgive Dinah. Mental images. Roommates. Give her a sec... and back!

"How old is he, and why's he crashing on your couch? ... and you know, the thing? With the leaning and, flexing? Inside the personal space? Without quite touching?"

"I dunno, old." Or, you know, 30. "He sounds like he's spent the last ten years eating packs of Marlboros. But, you know, other than that, seems nice enough."

When he got over stabbing you, anyway.

"Looming is sexy? No wonder I suck at this."

Which brought back weird flashbacks to when Priestly was older, and ... gah. Bad brain. No nookie. Cookie! Argh.

"Not looming. Looming is being trapped. Leaning leaves an easy exit," Dinah explained. "And you don't have to be taller, and draping over someone's head. I mean, you're not taller than me by much, and it still worked." Erm... "Did you just spontaneously offer your not-twin a place to stay when he showed up?"

Aww, Priestly.

"Well, no, first I assumed he was the old Dean and he threw water at me and I guess thought I was a shapeshifter? and made fun of my hair and looked grumpy when I explained a little about the island to him -- but I think maybe grumpy might be his default state. Then I told him Luke's was the best diner, and the next day he came in and I made him a burger, which he proposed marriage to, so I asked if he was looking for a job or a place to stay and, uh, ended up offering him both."

What? He had Priestly's face. It would be sad to leave him penniless and on the streets.

"Oooof course you did." Dinah shook her head, grinning. "And man, I forgot what kind of lives the Winchesters had-- have? Sometimes." Priestly dressing up as Demon Hunter Dean that one Halloween didn't seem as funny now. "This is why you're my favorite."

"Because I make burgers good enough that rough and tumble deeply-invested-in-their-masculinity men propose marriage to them?"

Giggling. "Yes. You have skills! Also, you learned sharing in kindergarten and therefore do not need to prove your masculinity, it's just there. To the point where you can wear a cocktail dress with style. Also, aplomb."

"Yeah, man, I get the feeling this guy would shit a brick if he saw me in a dress. He was all grouchy at the Hello Kitty bandaid and everything."

Dinah hooted, then chortled, "The first time he turns into a girl is going to be way hard on him then. Or a cute and fuzzy animal... or you!" Pause. "No, I forbid this. You guys can't mess with me that way."

"Yeah, 'cause we've totally always gotten to choose that stuff."

"So not fair," Dinah grumbled. Don't ask her what, Priestly. Just accept it. "Anyhow. I'm glad you have a roommate-- although this wouldn't seem a good week for it-- and you need to get thee to a bar. Thence to buy mead. Or beer. Or fruity drinks, I know how you love those." Heh. "And find a willing partner for concupiscence."

Ha! Fifty dollar word! See, college was good for something!

"I'm not sure what that last one is? But it sounds super dirty."

Honestly, "paparazzi" sounded super dirty to him right now. Or "antidisestablishmentarianism".

Dinah remembered that week. The phone book seemed dirty by the end of it.

"Yup! Sensual longing, selfish desire." Thank you, philosophy vs. theology class. "Go. Do that. Do someone. Do it. I'm hanging up now. So you can call the hot doctor and tell her you need sexual healing."

Heeeeeeeeee.

"You're incorrigible," Priestly said. "Okay. I'll talk to you later. When I'm slightly more normal."

Edited 2013-04-03 23:48 (UTC)

"Pfft. Old news. And yeah, call me then. Or when you're just too tired to care." Dinah grinned. "Say hi to New Dean. Byeeee, Priestly."

Priestly might have heard her singing "Sexual Healing" before she hung up, snickering.

On the one hand, Navaan was completely okay with any staring that Priestly might do. On the other, she was hardly anyone's definition of a lady.

So, basically, ogle away, Priestly. Ogle away.

"House call!" she said, barging in the door and carefully stepping away from the light coming in through the window. "I heard you were stabbed or something?"

Days ago, sure. But she'd been busy since then. Wanting to get busy now was what reminded her to visit.

HOLY CRAP, SHE ACTUALLY MADE THE PLAGUE MASK LOOK SEXY.

"Just a scratch," Priestly assured her, once he'd gotten in a good ogle. "Already been leeched." By which, of course, he meant disinfected and bandaged.

"Are you seeing other doctors on the side?!?" Navaan demanded. "Are you?!"

...That wasn't a euphemism. Priestly was free to get all the sex he wanted elsewhere, but doctoring was a whole other thing!

Oh crap. What'd he do?

"No?!" Priestly basically squeaked. "Self-leeching, I swear!"

Navaan was still frowning at him. "You should leave that to the professionals," she declared. "Self-leeching can be dangerous. Can you even get medical-grade leeches by yourself?"

"I dunno, probably on the internet?" Priestly shrugged and held out his arm, complete with the now-slightly battered Hello Kitty bandaid. "But see, all better."

"Hmph." Navaan still looked unimpressed, but she was willing to let it go. "Does that mean you're not interested in a long and thorough medical exam?"

"That depends. Is that a euphemism for enthusiastic sex?"

Look, he didn't really feel a need to be subtle, here, okay?

Navaan immediately began unbuttoning her shirt. That was enough of an answer, wasn't it?

"What's the point of having sex if it isn't enthusiastic?"

"True," Priestly said, shrugging out of his own shirt.

Huh. Maybe he should close the diner?

Eh, it was a slow day, anyway.

"I can patch you up afterwards," Navaan assured him. "You liked nails and biting, right?"

Right now, Priestly liked anything that involved smooshing parts together. But yes, he'd also had fun with the nails and biting last time, too.

"Absolutely." He did at least think to reach out and pull her towards the office, rather than going at it right in the dining room.

That's what made Luke's classy, after all.

Though he probably wouldn't get a complaint from the self-appointed Health Inspector!

Though Navaan did think to snag some of the fruit off the counter. She thought that Priestly might enjoy a visit from the Sexy Fruit Viking that afternoon. And a fair bit of pillaging.

...That was innuendo, folks. Yup.

I don't want today. Can we return it for another?

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Luke's, Wednesday

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OOC