fandomtownies | Town Hall, Friday

"No, ma'am. I cannot 'turn the town-wide thermostat down'."

"No, I am not presently in contact with the forces manipulating this island."

"No, the only advice I can give you is to put a cold steak on it for forty-five minutes, and then check if it is still swollen."

"How did you even get this number? ... I see. Remind me to fire my assistant."

Sex pollen week? Ron did not have time for sex pollen week, not with these townsfolk calling him at all hours of the day. Why did they publish the mayor's number? That had to be against privacy law. And if it wasn't, then he would make sure that it became so.

Barely had he finished that thought or the phone rang again.

"Ron Swanson's office," he answered, "Mayor Swanson is currently not in. I suggest you direct your queries to the local purveyor of erotic entertainment. Thank you."

Then he got up and pulled the phone line out of the wall.

Thirty seconds later, his assistant brought him her ringing mobile phone.

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