fandomtownies | The Devil's Nest- Sunday

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"Finally, an open bar," Kaine declared. He had spent the previous two f#&$ing days day trying to make sense of this f#&$ing island and get a f#&$ing drink from a f#&$ing bar and no matter how much he f#&$ing tried he didn't f#&$ing get any of that. F#&$.

But now here he was. "No, I don't have ID." Uh oh. "I'm clearly over 21." Crap. "All I want is a drink. Make that happen and there won't be any trouble." This wasn't going well at all. "I can and will literally rip your face off."

After another few minutes of arguing, Kaine ended up drinking an Arnold Palmer. F#&$.

"They are hardasses here about the ID thing," Jack said sympathetically, scoping out Kaine's drink. "Earth bars bite."

"I've never had a problem before," Kaine ~~whined~~ complained. "Most places can either use their eyes or back down with threats. This guy's just either tougher or dumber than he looks."

He gave Jack a curious look. "You said 'Earth bars.' Alien or demon?" She could be either. He wasn't judging.

"Neither," Jack said, not sounding offended. "Just grew up in space, is all."

Because that was totally normal, right?

She glanced back to Tiny. Conspiratorially, she added, "He folded pretty fast when I threatened his balls."

"I threatened his face. Guess we know where his priorities are," Kaine said.

"Well, yeah," Jack said thoughtfully. "Face like that, it's no great loss if you mess it up."

"I've fought uglier guys than him who were more protective of their faces," Kaine said. "That didn't really stop me from making them even uglier. It just took longer."

Good times.

"Never met a guy so ugly I couldn't make it worse," Jack agreed, giving him the once-over. "What's your story? You aren't in uniform, so I'm guessing merc."

"More or less," Kaine said. Assassin. Vigilante. Superhero. Okay, it was increasingly 'less.' "But right now I'm just a guy trying to figure out how he ended up here."

"My theory is that it's where the Alliance dumps everybody who's gone loopy," Jack offered. "... and I heard they have a school."

"They do," Kaine sighed. And then pounded some more of his non-alcoholic drink. Sigh. "I woke up yesterday in some girl's room in the dorms. The place was just crawling with kids."

"Little shits," Jack said affectionately. "I teach, back home. Hope they aren't finding too much trouble while I'm stuck here, but --"

She shrugged. Wasn't like she could do anything about it.

"And I woke up in a house," she added. "Pretty boring. Lots of books."

"A teacher who finds books boring?" Kaine asked. "What exactly do you teach?"

"Not all books," Jack amended. "These looked boring. Old. But you're sort of right, I'm not" -- a smirk -- "exactly the schoolmarm type. I teach biotics. Kinda fell into it, you know?"

"If more schoolmarms were like you, I might have better memories of school," Kaine joked. "What's a biotic? Is that cyborg stuff?" He may have been cloned from a scientific genius, but he wasn't exactly keeping up with scientific journals recently. So that was just a guess based on the word.

Edited 2013-04-29 01:23 (UTC)

"No, it's using dark energy to move crap around," Jack said. "Telekinesis, stuff like that. Thought everybody knew what it was."

"Where I'm from, we usually call that stuff 'being a mutant,'" Kaine said. "But we don't have too many humans who grew up in space, either."

Jack gave him the fish eye, then laughed. "Wherever you come from is messed up," she said. "But this whole weekend's been pretty fucking bizarre, so ... why not? I'm a mutant."

"To mutants," Kaine said, raising his glass. "But if you think that's what makes my home messed up, you'd be buying me shots or sending me to a shrink if you heard the worst of it."

"Not that you will hear that. I don't even know you."

"Not the tell-your-sob-story-to-some-chick-in-a-bar type, huh?" Jack asked, clinking her own glass against his. "I can get with that. I'll even buy you a shot for not making me sit through it."

Edited 2013-04-29 11:59 (UTC)

"We'd be here all night if I did that," Kaine said. "And I'm trying to be a little more forward-thinking these days. Look toward the future and blah blah blah." Clearly, Kaine was wasting his time with this superhero thing. He should really be writing motivational posters.

Jack was about as happy to find an open bar as Kaine was, and -- possibly because she'd made a few not-so-subtle threats toward Tiny's manhood -- she eventually got a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass, for the low, low price of promising to drink quietly and leave without causing any trouble. She poured herself a shot and tossed it back, looking around for anybody interesting at the bar.

Darius, unlike April, was old enough to drink, which meant that Darius had a beer and a very strong solitary vibe as she sat at the bar to drink.

People were welcome to come talk to her, but she was a little distracted at the moment. Where the hell was Kenneth?

Sam wasn't certain what was going on, to be honest, but she knew from the radio that it was something unusual.

She was partly intrigued and partly pleased that she'd been spared, and was likely to be a tiny bit amused by anyone acting out of the ordinary.

"So," Jack said, sauntering over to Sam a couple drinks into the evening, "Alenko made it sound like you aren't going to have any idea who I am. Is he right?"

She liked Sam. She honestly did. It was just fun to mess with people a little -- or a lot -- sometimes.

Sam blinked, but otherwise didn't miss a beat. Not even to glance down below Jack's face, which she thought was rather excellent restraint, given the woman's wardrobe. "Not without a name, at the very least," she said. "Did he send you to find me?"

Well. Sam certainly hadn't expected the Lieutanant Commander to start sending her barely-clothed potential customers on her off-hours, but she supposed she'd deal.

Jack's outfit was, by her standards, absolutely conservative. The brass at Grissom Academy had convinced her a strap of leather over her nipples was not conducive attire for teaching teenage boys. Something about distracting them.

"Sort of," Jack said, biting her lip. There'd been no glimpse of recognition in Sam's eyes, which was lending credence to the theory she was the one who'd gone utterly looney tunes. "He said you handled transit between this place and home. You can hook me up?"

Well, that outfit would have tested even Sam's impeccable restraint. Because good god.

"I can see what I can do," Sam said, pulling up her omni-tool. "Name and universe identification number?"

Jack sighed, because she felt like she'd just been through this with Kaidan. "Jacqueline Nought in the stupid database. Jack everywhere else. My Alliance ID is --"

She rattled off the number.

"I should warn you, Kaidan said he couldn't find me. It was weird."

"Commander Alenko has Portalocity database access?" Sam asked absently as she glided through the system. Searching through Portalocity instead of the Alliance records would make this process go so much more quickly. "No, here you are. Jacqueline Nought, Systems Alliance circa 2186, yes?"

Sorry, Jack; now Sam was eyeing your wardrobe. That was not an Alliance uniform.

"Bingo," Jack said, grateful. (And ignoring the once-over -- it wasn't like she didn't get that kind of look every single day.) "Thanks. Can you book me a trip home and tell Alenko I'm not making shit up? In whatever order you want."

"I certainly can," Sam said, swiping in a few key combinations. "The former, at least. I'm... not certain the Commander will appreciate being spoken to that way."

Which was to say that unless he asked, she probably wasn't going to say anything at all.

"How's tomorrow morning around nine? I can get you a portal to Vetus in the Petra Nebula."

"Always forget how big you uniform types are on the respect thing," Jack said, cheerfully enough. Getting off the island was what mattered, not what Kaidan Alenko thought about it. "And the time is fine, but maybe make it Earth? Couple of my kids are still kicking around in London. I should check on them."

She still wasn't sure exactly what a 'portal' was, but she figured she'd find out when it got there.

"London it is, then," Sam said, keying it in and waiting for a confirmation. She looked up at Jack in the meantime. "Kids, did you say?"

Jack certainly didn't look like a mom, but maybe a teacher?

"I taught at Grissom until ... stuff happened," Jack answered vaguely. "Still in charge of my squad from there. They'd find a way to get themselves killed without me."

Suffice to say that by today, Nancy was fairly well aware that she wasn't in London, so upon venturing into the Devil's Nest she wasn't particularly confused to find that it wasn't the Three Cripples.

The important part was that it was a pub of sorts. And no, she didn't have ID, but she didn't have reservations about using the cut of her neckline as a means of persuasion, either. (Admittedly, neither would Éponine, but Nancy's method relied more on confidence than pathos.)

Give her some time and a few more drinks, and there might be a tavern song in the offing. ~~Because "Oom Pah Pah" has to happen.~~

"I can't believe everyone but me is getting drinks without an ID," Kaine complained, half into his third Armold Palmer.

"That so?" asked Nancy in her thick Cockney accent. She took another sip of her beer and smirked mischievously at him over the rim of the glass. "Then maybe you're not going about your persuading the right way."

This whole ID rule was pointless, as far as she was concerned.

"I tried threats. He's not my type, so I'm not going to seduce him. And I'm pretty sure he's not taking my bribes after hearing my threats," Kaine reasoned. Maybe he tried those in the wrong order. "If you've got any other solutions, I'm open to them."

Nancy glanced down pointedly, then back up at Kaine. "Only getting rid of this ridiculous law, otherwise I ain't got any suggestions for you," she said, almost apologetic about it. "Seein' as I don't think my methods will work so well for you."

"Any chance you could use your methods for me? You, I'll bribe," Kaine said. Just because he couldn't bribe Tiny now didn't mean bribery was off the table entirely. It was still a great solution to many problems.

Edited 2013-04-29 01:24 (UTC)

"Oh, you will, will you?" Nancy looked clearly amused by this. (Odds were good that Éponine's face was going to hurt tomorrow, since she hadn't done this much smiling in years.) "Who's to say you've got anything that'll interest me?"

"I've got twenty bucks straight up and can cover your drinks for the night," Kaine said. "But if that doesn't interest you, we could find something more your style."

Get jiggy!

Tamsin was dancing, drink in hand, enjoying the beat. And looking for an excuse to start a fight.

Are you looking at her? That might be enough.

The usual vampire may be out Phantoming but still!

I'm off to make bad decisions by walking around an amusement park in 88 degree weather while my head cold turns into a chest cold with a massive headache, but I wanted to give people a place to make their own bad decisions.

The Devil's Nest- Sunday

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Dance Floor and Lounge

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