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The Devil's Nest, Wednesday Evening

Taylor Swift was being blared.

Apparently the DJ was back with a vengeance. A Bruce Willis level vengeance. Which could only mean Derek was stuck listening to a whiny twenty-something sing about how all her boyfriends leave her.

God, how he hated his life.

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Drink the pain awaaaaay.

Stiles had seemingly forgiven Derek for being an ass on Monday since he showed up at the bar tonight. Or maybe he was just bored. "My usual, barkeep."

Probably bored.

"Barkeep?"

Stiles nodded. "That is what you are, isn't it?"

Derek just gave him a look, pushing an overly cherry filled coke at him.

"Have you been watching Masterpiece Theater?" Again.

"Dude." You were such an ass, Derek. "You should be fired."

"I'm sure Eric will get right on that."

Stiles stabbed at his drink with a straw, trying to get past the cherries and into the coke. "Do you do this to everyone or just me?"

"You're special," Derek assured him. "Dear to my heart even."

"I sense your sarcasm but there's a bit of truth I think," Stiles said. "You love me."

"Like an arrow through my chest."

EVERYTHING HE LOVED DIED.

Stiles gave Derek a kissyface. "Keep up that level of enthusiasm if you ever meet my dad."

"I've met your dad."

"Technically you haven't," he said. "You met a different Stiles' dad. Also I don't think it counts if you meet when one person is arresting the other."

"Then it's a good thing he won't be coming here." Right, Stiles? Right?

"Uh I guess he won't be," he said. "I mean I can't stop him from coming on Parents Weekend."

"But you can text me if it happens." So that he could hide. A lot.

"That doesn't seem like much fun for me." Ha, as if Stiles was going to be the only person that suffered.

"Why do you want me to get shot?"

"He wouldn't shoot you. He'd just threaten to shoot you." That made it better. "Now if he knew you'd survive being shot due to werewolfiness then, yeah, he'd probably shoot you."

"That doesn't make it better."

Stiles rolled his eyes. "You'll be fine. If you do get shot remember it's Scott's fault for getting confused about us."

Also, Derek, you totally won the pain in the ass relative award. Peter would not stop creeping on Stiles via text.

DAMN RIGHT HE DID.

"If you would stop sending him pictures..."

"Oh I will never stop sending Scott pictures of you doing stupid stuff."

"So he can assume we're actually dating?"

Though, if you ignored the lack of sex, a case could be made that they were in a committed relationship.

They constantly spent time together, bought each other gifts, didn't date anybody else...yeah they were kind of in a sexless relationship.

"He's actually very supportive of us, I don't want to break his heart."

Derek was just going to attempt smothering himself against the bar. "You need better friends."

"Oh don't be a baby," Stiles said, attempting to throw a cherry at Derek's head while he was trying to smother himself. "Just accept the fact we're apparently a cute couple."

Derek only stopped once he was hit by a cherry. He lifted his head to glare at Stiles for that. "I'm not buying you anything."

"You buy me stuff all the time."

Did not!

"And I'm making fun of your stupid tattoo."

"You haven't even seen it," Stiles said. "Not that I'm denying its stupidity."

"I don't need to see it to make fun of you." He really didn't.

"I have a question about that, by the way, is it supposed to itch?" he asked. "'Cause it kind of itches."

"How should I know?" WEREWOLF. "Look it up."

A beat.

"Don't scratch it."

Not until he got a look at it.

"But it itches." He didn't handle pain well, Derek!

"You're going to get an infection and die." With love.

"Oh I know all about your sickness smelling powers and you haven't smelled anything on me," he said. "You know how I know? Because you aren't being a hovering nag."

YET.

Derek rolled his eyes dramatically at that. "You're supposed to wash it."

"I do wash it! I shower all the time!" It's where he masturbates, of course he showered all the time.

Just... no.

Where bosses might be.

Now I have 'Red' stuck in my head. FML.

SHH IT'S THE STEREK LOVE ANTHEM IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

NUH UH. THAT IS 'LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD'

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The Devil's Nest, Wednesday Evening

The Bar

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The Lounge/Dance Floor

The VIP Area

OOC

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