fandomtownies | Dite's Decadent Delights, Friday

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Dite's Decadent Delights, Friday

It was too hot for life today, and Sparkle was demonstrating his feelings about that today at work, draped melodramatically over the counter with a Squishee from Turtle & Canary in one hand, and a ~~NSFW~~ battery-powered fan in the other. If anyone wanted service today, they were going to have to coax it out of him with offerings of popsicles or maybe by initiating a super-soaker fight or something, because he was one Canadian who was just not going to deal, today.

Never mind that the place was air-conditioned. Sparkle would be dramatic if he wanted to, thanks.

[Open, OCD-free, and the link above is probably not entirely safe for the more discerning workplace, silly though it might be.]

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April thumped her elbows down on the counter.

"Can I get a penis fan?"

"We have like a whole display of 'em," Sparkle replied, putting forth about all of the effort it took to point his fan vaguely in that direction. "Different colours and everything. What colour dick did you want?"

Note how he was asking, but he so wasn't actually moving over to the display in order to get her one.

"Black."

She didn't move. This might turn into a laziness-off.

"Yup. We've got those."

See 'em? See 'em over there, being all black, with weird stubby malformed dicks with fans on them?

"Dick fans."

"Get it for me," April requested, adding in a deadpan, "I'm shy."

"That what you want, huh?" Sparkle raised an eyebrow. "'Cause when you came in, the question you asked was if you could get one. And I'm here to tell you, yep. You totally can."

Congratulations, April.

"'Get' means 'buy.'"

She didn't budge.

"Yep," Sparkle replied. "And you totally can, if you go get it."

He was waving his hand toward the display again. Because his delicate Canadian constitution was just not going to have any of it.

"No."

April had a pretty impressively creepy stare, and she appeared to blink less than most people. She fixed this stare on Sparkle now.

"Oh. Okay."

Look, April. Sparkle had seen things in his wee little life that meant that your creepy stare was less than impressive. He'd met his boyfriend's sister. Your stare was downright adorable in comparison.

"Too bad. Because it's fucking hot out there."

He pointed his fan back at his face and basked in the breeze it made.

"Not going back out there," April said.

This was true. She was pretty much hogging his fan.

"Yeah, neither would I," Sparkle replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "It's hot as balls out there."

Hogging the fan? So long as she didn't touch his Squishee, he wouldn't have to cut a bitch. It was red.

"Was trying to get my boyfriends to save me and take me to a goddamn water park," April grumbled. "They're all, 'no, we're not driving twenty hours one-way just to pay for your ticket.'"

"Assholes," Sparkle decided, wrinkling his nose. "Some boyfriends they are if they're not willing to spend a day on the road to save you from this goddamn weather."

It was hot, he didn't have to be reasonable.

"They're too busy making out with each other," she whined. "I don't get water slides or someone to make out with. It's fucking bullshit."

"And nobody around here you're interested in? Nobody who likes water slides an sucking face?"

It seemed, to Sparkle, like such a straightforward solution.

"No one who'd pay for my shit," April confirmed. Sad.

"Huh. And I thought like half the people on this island were filthy stinkin' rich or something."

Weren't they? Most of the people he knew seemed to be.

"Who? I should make friends with them."

April batted the penis fan a little closer to her. As one did.

Sparkle made a face, and then tugged the fan back his way.

"I dunno. Mostly students, I guess. You into students?"

April wrinkled her nose, reaching for the fan again.

"I don't wanna make out with students."

"Well, then I guess you're gonna have to deal with your boyfriends being a day away," Sparkle replied, shrugging his shoulders and... tugging the fan back again. "There are probably like old people in town that have money too."

April shrugged. "None that I know," she said. "Sucks."

"Sucks to be you," Sparkle agreed. And then finished off his Squishee. "Guess you could, like, play jezebel out there and find someone to string along for waterpark admission or something."

"Not my style," April said. "You could."

"Could," Sparkle agreed, smirking. "Except my boyfriend is already right here on the island. I don't have to."

And the making out part was awesome, too. So there.

"Yeah?" April made a face. It was a jealous face. "He take you to water parks?"

"Took me to a zoo once. I bet he'd take me to a water park if I asked him."

Because Sparkle had the puppy face. That had to be why.

Yeah, the jealous face was sticking around. "I wanna go," she complained. "You guys want a girlfriend?"

"Thought you weren't into students?"

Was Sparks rubbing it in? Hell yes. Did he care? Hell no.

"Yeah, but I miss free amusement park days and polyamory," she whined. "What are you, like, eighteen?"

Edited 2013-07-05 22:47 (UTC)

"Like seventeen," Sparkle replied, shrugging his shoulders. "And not into girls, like, at all."

"Goddamnit."

Her life was pretty tough, to be honest.

Really, Sparkle would've reached across the counter to pat her on the shoulder, but that seemed like effort, and he was still busy dying. Heat, boo.

"Sorry, lady. Bet there are plenty of other gay guys on the island looking for a girl to mix things up with or to take to the waterpark or whatever."

"Give me names if you meet any," April sighed.

And then she reached for the fan. Sparkle's fan. Not a new one. "I'll take this."

"I'll keep an eye out." He would do no such thing. "Thought you wanted it in black?"

He wasn't arguing, this time around. That was the display fan, it wasn't like he'd paid for it or anything.

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Dite's Decadent Delights, Friday

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