Devil's Nest, Monday, 9/09

[bitten_notshy]

Jack was mystified by a sudden change to the liquor collection tonight. He hadn't thought pickle vodka was completely awful ... but that didn't mean he needed three dozen bottles of it.

For that matter, he wasn't overly jazzed by the thought of bubble gum vodka, even if Tiny swore it was great with pineapple juice. And ketchup vodka was just -- it had to be a joke, didn't it?

He made a sign for the front of the club --

Special: Make up a flavoured vodka drink, get 2-for-1!

And retreated behind the bar. Someone in town had to be creative, didn't they?

[OOC: Open club, no OCD.]

Comments

[justlurkinghere]

Because Derek was a big ol' drama queen, he ended up at the Devil's Nest after leaving Caritas. One might be worried about that if he actually, you know, drank.

But he didn't, so it was all good.

"Trying to get rid of the stock?"

[bitten_notshy]

"We have thirty-six bottles of pickle vodka," Jack enunciated very precisely. "Thirty. Six. And five of bubblegum."

[justlurkinghere]

"Maybe if you give it to people once they're drunk?" Yeah, that was a great idea.

[bitten_notshy]

"Then we have angry drunk people," Jack pointed out. "I could just give it all to you and Jackson so no one has to actually get drunk on it."

Jackson was underage, but whatever. That just made it more likely he'd appreciate terrible vodka.

[justlurkinghere]

"I'm not drinking pickle vodka." Jackson could, though.

[bitten_notshy]

"Where's your sense of adventure, Derek?" Jack sighed. "I drank some."

A shot. Not 36 bottles.

[justlurkinghere]

"Drink some more then." HE DARED YOU.

[bitten_notshy]

Jack made a face. "You first."

DOUBLE-DARE.

[justlurkinghere]

Not happening!

"The shipment could end up at the other bar." Damn it, guys. That was cruel.

[bitten_notshy]

"Kitty might want to kill us," Jack said thoughtfully. "But that would be funny."

[justlurkinghere]

"Bribe the squirrels. It's not like she'll know it was us."

It was sure to succeed!

[bitten_notshy]

"And even if she does, all she can do is give the vodka back," Jack said, possibly seriously underestimating Kitty's creativity. "I'm beginning to like this idea. How should we deliver it?"

[justlurkinghere]

"In a box." Oh, someone was being sassy.

[bitten_notshy]

"Brilliant idea," Jack said. "Much faster and neater than my plan of delivery via water balloons."

Someone could be sassy right back, thank you.

[justlurkinghere]

"Pickle vodka would just get everywhere then." And they'd get dumped in the pond by Caritas.

[bitten_notshy]

"At least then no one would have to drink it."

[justlurkinghere]

"Not a bad idea." No. This would only lead to egging someone's house next.

[bitten_notshy]

"... maybe I should just see if they'll let me return it."

Though torturing Kitty still sounded like more fun.

[justlurkinghere]

"Keep a bottle just in case."

[bitten_notshy]

"For bubblegum vodka emergencies?" Jack asked skeptically.

[not_a_whiner]

"You're going to breed a whole new generation of drunks," Kaidan said, casting a glance back towards the door as he came in.

[bitten_notshy]

"Not as long as Eric makes us stick to liquor laws," Jack said lightly. "Anyhow, anyone who gets drunk on ketchup-flavoured vodka deserves it, as far as I'm concerned."

He added, "What is the drinking age in 21-whatever, anyhow?"

He wanted to see if it got any more sane in the next hundred years.

[not_a_whiner]

"Eighteen," Kaidan said lightly. "For humans, anyway. Except for ryncol, that one's definitely 21 and up. When you can buy it at all."

Krogan alcohol, man.

He slid into a seat. "Also... ketchup vodka? Really?"

[bitten_notshy]

"I think I'll stay away from ryncol if I ever go home with you again," Jack decided. "And yes, really. Also jellybean and cheesecake. Russians would faint."

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan glanced past Jack towards the drinks. "Please tell me there's not mustard."

[bitten_notshy]

Jack rummaged through the bottles to check. "I don't see any, but I wouldn't put it past them," he said. "What would you even mix with mustard, I wonder?"

[not_a_whiner]

"Hotdogs?" Kaidan said dryly. "...Damn it, now I'm picturing mustard shots with tiny sausages..."

[bitten_notshy]

Jack involuntarily gagged at the thought. "With a pickle chip on the rim of the glass?" he suggested. Just to pay Kaidan back.

[not_a_whiner]

"Just to wrap the whole disgusting thing up," Kaidan said, pulling a face. "Krogans would love it."

[bitten_notshy]

"Krogans must have broken taste buds," Jack decided. "Can I get you something, or have we put you off drinking for the day?"

[not_a_whiner]

"Just get me a beer," Kaidan said wryly. "From as far away from the vodka pile as you can, please."

[bitten_notshy]

"Smart choice," Jack nodded, and bent over to pull a bottle of Canadian lager from the lowest shelf of the fridge. He slid it across to Kaidan. "So, how's your day been?"

[not_a_whiner]

"Quiet," Kaidan said, snagging the lager with a quick, "Thanks." He took a sip, then continued, "Got some upgrades done on my omni-tool and cleaned out my M-8, but that's about the apex of my day."

[bitten_notshy]

"It's been quiet here too," Jack nodded. "Other than the avalanche of vodka, anyhow."