Near The Old Campgrounds, Tuesday

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

There was an entire barbecue set up in the middle of... well, nowhere. The smell of bacon and other assorted pieces of meat hit the air and blew down across town. What might have almost blown across town as well - considering the volume - was the humming of one Mayor Ron Swanson, who had a smile on his face so big it wouldn't even fade if you punched him in the head repeatedly.

Ron might even be caught doing a little butt wiggle.

Today was an excellent day.

[[ the opinions of ron swanson are very much not my opinions. the post is open for anyone who wants to wtf at him or wants meat. ]]

Comments

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

April wanted meat. The barbecue kind, perv.

"Duke," she greeted him, nodding a hello. With a vague gesture at the food, she checked, "This free?"

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

"My name is Ron Swanson," Ron said, as pointedly as he could while still being in such great spirits overall. "But yes." He gestured at the meat with one of his many tools. "Today, it is free."

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," April said, immediately going for a plate. Then, almost as an afterthought: "Why?"

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

"The government has shut down!" Ron said cheerfully.

Then he giggled.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

Oh. Yeah, that sounded vaguely familiar. Maybe she'd clicked past a news article along those lines in favor of... not reading the news.

"Cool," she said mildly. "Does that mean you don't have to go to work?"

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

"Sadly, state government has not been shut down," Ron replied. "So I decided to take the week off to celebrate instead."

Same result, basically.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Well played," April decided. "What does the government need to operate for?"

Preaching to the choir, Ludgate. Well, not even preaching. Musing rhetorically, really.

[lovemykilt]

Priestly had planned to just hole up in doors with an ionic breeze air filter or seventeen pointed at his face until all this blew over, but then he caught sight of Stevesie attempting to make love to a couch cushion and decided that maybe his plan was still flawed. He caught scent of the meat the moment he stepped outside, and feeling more dog-like than usual, decided to go ahead and follow his nose.

"You get yourself furloughed or something?" he asked by way of greeting.

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

"No," Ron said, poking at a sausage. If he was suffering any ill effects this week, he was not showcasing them. "I am simply celebrating the joyous occasion that is the temporary end of this greedy, self-obsessed monster we call the government."

[lovemykilt]

". . . You know thousands of people are out of their jobs right now, right?"

Maybe he was planning to feed them all? It was a lot of meat. . . .

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

"And then they might get properly employed," said the civil servant. "I've long dreamed of the day I was budget cut out of a job..."

[lovemykilt]

"You're very strange," Priestly concluded. "So we going with anarchy in Fandom, now? The revolution will be grilled, not televised?"

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

"Not anarchy, liberty," Ron said, rolling his eyes as he flipped another burger. "A world in which we and we alone are entitled to our own property."

[lovemykilt]

"Uh huh. And who's going to enforce said liberty? What if your neighbor decides he's more entitled to your liberty than you are?"

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

April paused halfway through spearing a hot dog and glanced Priestly's way.

"'Sup."

[lovemykilt]

Priestly smiled back, fond memories of being climbed like a tree springing to mind. "Hey, April."

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Hey."

April bit the hot dog. Not really a sexy visual, but she was hungry.

"I like the scruff."

[lovemykilt]

Yeah, Priestly would forgive her for not felating the hot dog. He was a food guy, after all. He understood the joys of eating.

"Thanks. I figured it'd make up for the island deciding to put a moritorium on the hair dye."

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Wait, huh?"

That was tragic. Hair dye was a wonderful thing. Especially on an Acklesface.

[dr-manly-voice.livejournal.com]

Out for a walk, and -- okay, so she wasn't expecting a cook-out in October, but the delightful scent of meat caught her attention anyway.

"What's the occasion?" asked Dr. Girlfriend.

(Unless it's too late to tag in?)

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

Ron looked up from his barbecue, looking radiant with joy. "They shut down the federal government," he said. "I haven't had a day this good in 17 years."

[dr-manly-voice.livejournal.com]

"The federal government?" Sheila asked, trying to work out how that made him set up a cookout. Maybe he was an underpaid government drone who was enjoying his day off.

"At least they won't be wasting anybody's money today," she decided. "Is the meat for everyone or just you?"

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

"To celebrate this particular occasion, I will be 'sharing' today," Ron said. "Normally I wouldn't do such a thing as it reeks of socialism, but sometimes allowances have to be made."

[dr-manly-voice.livejournal.com]

"You could always charge," she considered. "If you're worried about Communism and all that. Or make people each contribute something in order to get some meat."

[nomeatvirgin.livejournal.com]

"I had considered bringing in some cattle so that each interested party could butcher their own," Ron said, reaching for a plate. "But apparently they don't deliver them here. Steak or bacon?"