fandomtownies | On the Outskirts of the Preserve, Thursday Afternoon

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On the Outskirts of the Preserve, Thursday Afternoon

Crazy news broadcasts, monsters roaming in the woods, weapon vending machines... it was enough to make a Valkyrie's I-should-really-get-off-my-ass-and-do-something senses go off. Especially when that Valkyrie happened to be employed by the local police force.

This was not the first day Tamsin had been up and patrolling, but it was definitely the most extensive one so far. Crazy acid-spitting gun in her pocket, a couple of more... conventional fae weaponry hidden under her jacket, and an expression on her face that should send even the biggest Bullymong running if they got a look at it.

Yep, that was Tamsin today.

"Ugh," she muttered as her sweep brought her within sight-range of the preserve. "Thursdays."

[[ open, expecting one! ]]

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"Are the day when that stupid show about the high schoolers in the competitive figure-skating kazoo band comes on?"

Bo had a gun too. She might've reluctantly disarmed herself on request in the library but hell if she was coming out here without at least three weapons in addition to the ones she'd been granted by nature. Supernature. Whatever.

"That still exists?"

Tamsin was not impressed with you, human race.

"Can you believe it? I mean, so I've heard. From, uh... Tiny." Sorry, Tiny. "Clearly I don't.... what're you doing out here, anyway?"

Smoothest segue-way in Fandom since GOB left the island.

"Oh, you know. The island's been invaded by trigger-happy idiots, I'm a cop..."

Said with enough nose-scrunching and fake-cheer that Tamsin was banking on Bo getting the idea that her question was a stupid one.

Bo only gave her half an eyeroll because a show about a figure-skating kazoo band existed and therefore Bo would always be smarter than someone. Somewhere.

"I meant why here specifically? The scientist the kids got in contact with about these Hyperion people asked me to check out why something out here's messing with her readings. It'd be nice to know what I'm walking into."

"I was making the rounds," Tamsin said, crossing her arms and shifting most of her weight to one hip. "I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary out here, if that's what you're asking."

Beat.

"Well, more out of the ordinary than anywhere else. Dirt, trees, creepy angel statues, crazy pirates..."

"Angel statues?" Bo hadn't yet managed to get lost in that area of the preserve. "Is there a cemetery out here?"

"Nope," Tamsin said. "Just the statues. I came by there a while ago. They're kind of tacky."

Don't hurt their feelings, Tamsin.

Bo pulled a slightly crumpled print-out of Dr. Tannis' map from her jacket pocket, pointing to the red bloop that was the center of the signal distortions. "That's where the problem is, for what it's worth. You been through there yet?"

It would count as another stupid question if Bo knew her way around the preserve well enough not to ask questions like 'Creepy angels? What creepy angels? since she was pointing to the exact area Tamsin had just described.

Tamsin took one look at the map, then looked back up at Bo.

"You know, I always thought high school security was supposed to know the area they're securing," she said. Then added, less snarkily: "That's where the statues are."

"Yeah, that would be the high school. Which this isn't." Bo studied the map for another couple of seconds, then stuffed it back in her pocket and turned in the right direction. Mostly. Almost. "But the Other Duties As Assigned section of my job description gets bigger all the time. Guess I get to add tacky artwork appreciation today."

Edited 2013-12-12 22:07 (UTC)

"You think nobody with designs on the school is going to think to come up on it from the giant expanse of forest right behind it?"

There was always time to question other people's competence. Always.

"Whatever. I've only shot like two of these bozos today. Might as well come with you, stave off the boredom."

Though the Morrigan probably wouldn't mind if she let Bo get disintegrated by something, Tamsin found that the thought sort of bugged her. Ugh. "It's this way, by the way."

Edited 2013-12-12 22:11 (UTC)

In Bo's defense... "You mean the way with the half a boulder on the side of the trail that doesn't show up anywhere on this map?" Bo shook her head and aimed a light kick at the thing in question as she corrected her direction and passed it. "Seriously, it's not like I haven't been out here before; somebody just keeps rearranging the furniture for shits and giggles."

"Your problems are not really my problem," Tamsin said, but failed to elaborate on that further as she slipped right past the boulder. "So who sent you out here, again?"

"An obnoxious chick in a lab coat who only didn't get punched in the face face because I kind of have a thing for chicks in lab coats, and also she wasn't really there."

"You usually take orders from chicks in lab coats you don't know?"

Yes.

Shut up.

"Only when I'm naked or we called them for advice in the first place." Shut up. "...I wasn't naked."

Tamsin shot her a look. "Good to know!"

They were coming up on the angel statues shortly...

Yes, yes they were. Bo let the gun rest against her hip while she stared at the angels.

"Wow, when you said tacky, you meant ...tacky."

It wasn't the grotesque expressions, the fangs and claws, or even that they appeared to be playing ring-around-the-rosie that took everything over the edge.

It was the way they were festooned with fibre-optic cables, blinking away in multiple colors, and the bits and pieces of what looked like circuit boards attached wherever there seemed to be a free place to attach something -- dangling from the cables in a lot of cases, or balanced on the joined-up arms -- and... something else, what was it? Oh, right, the over-sized car antenna lookalikes jammed onto the tops of the figures' heads.

And there was a psycho, because of course. It was currently on its knees next to the angels, as if it was praying. And weeping.

"Motheeeeers! Come back to me!"

Maybe that solved the question about who'd brought all the tech junk here.

Bo was gonna go with "...Uh?" on this one.

"And there's your disturbance," Tamsin said, reaching for her gun without even batting an eye. "Hey! Crazypants!"

The psycho's attention switched from the statues to them. The new living things in the clearing.

Hmmmm.

It was already getting on its feet. "Mothers!" it screamed. "It's time for THREE pounds of flesh!"

That didn't sound especially friendly. Not that Hey Crazypants had either.

"Stay the hell back," she warned, lifting her gun as well.

Meh, who needed friendly?

"You've got thirty seconds to clear out," Tamsin called, "Or we're going to make you."

And enjoy it. Well, Tamsin might.

"Look into my eyes when I stare at you!" the psycho yelled as it charged at them, rusty blade held up high.

It was not to be reasoned with or warned off, it seemed.

"Yeeeah, I'm so not letting you get close enough to kiss me," Bo decided. Out loud, as you do. She aimed for his knee when she fired, though, because she wouldn't kill a person-shaped person, even if it was a crazyperson-shaped person, if she didn't have to.

Tamsin had no such issues. If Bo was going to call her on aiming her acid-spitting gun at the guy's head and firing? Well, she'd just, uh. Slipped.

Both of those things were unpleasant! The shot to the knee only slowed it down – although its gait was pretty lopsided and broken after that – but the shot to the face...

Okay, it didn't stop the psycho, either. But a few more of those would.

"Peaches!"

"Kumquats to you too, dude." Bo fired off another round at his legs, still looking to stop him in his tracks rather than blow his head off. Which wasn't to say she had any objection to Tamsin's approach. Or the acid-shooting gun, as long as it didn't spray in her direction.

"Can we just not bring fruit into this?!" Tamsin hollered, firing more shots at the psycho.

And kind of... y'know, running to the side so it wouldn't get to her as quick.

Well, this time the psycho stumbled, and fell, still brandishing the blade at them, though. In their general direction.

"I'm sorry, mommies... I'm sorry! MOMMIIIIIES!"

"Please tell me he is not talking about us." Bo tried to edge around him, toward the statues.

"Not unless there's something we've really repressed," Tamsin answered.

She was circling the guy too, but for a different reason.

The psycho made some more wailing noises at them. You had to give it to it for its tenacity. Still with the blade and everything, even though it couldn't get up.

"Gotta get my hands... around... your throat. For mothers..."

Oh good, he wasn't talking about them. Good, because Bo would've felt weird about shooting something that thought she was its mommy. But if he didn't mean her and Tamsin...

"What, them?" She jerked her gun toward the nearest angel statue.

"Does it really matter?" Tamsin asked, stepping closer to the psycho. Aiming her gun at the hand holding the blade. "'Cause you, I don't know, blowing up the angel statues is kiiiind of over-complicated for this situation."

"What does it all mean!?"

Yeah, the psycho wasn't really making conversation with them.

Still tried to swing that blade at Tamsin, though.

"It means why won't you just stay the fuck down?" Bo had the same thought about knocking the blade out of his hand, but she didn't think she was that good a shot. She was that good a kicker, though...

Was Tamsin going to shoot him in the arm anyway?

Well... yes. But not until after that leg action.

The psycho wailed, although it was a pretty gargled sound.

Maybe it'd stay down now?

Maybe Bo would think twice before aiming her leg in the same direction as somebody's gun, too, next time. She did spin out of the way in time to avoid ruining either a really nice boot or a really nice leg, depending how strong that acid was.

Then she scooped up the knife, before blender-brains could get any ideas about making a grab for it.

"I wasn't planning on blowing them up," she said with a fast look at Tamsin before turning toward the statues. "Just cutting this shit off them." She lifted a cable with the blade of the knife.

Edited 2013-12-14 23:12 (UTC)

Tamsin pulled a face. "Can't we leave the spring cleaning to somebody else?" she asked.

While unplugging a doodad from some gadget. Whatever, she didn't need to be consistent.

"If it's this stuff that's messing with the readings they're doing of the island," Bo answered, reaching up to yank at one of the antennae, "the sooner it's down, the sooner we get answers about what the hell's going on."

Tamsin rolled her eyes, but she plucked some wire off of an angel anyway. "You think this guy even knew what he was doing?"

"Probably not; I don't even know what he was doing, and I don't think crappy lawn art is my mommy." Bo made a face at the angel in front of her that wasn't near as hideous as the statue's own. "Probably. I mean, I don't know my real mom, but if I'm part freaky stone angel, you'd think I'd at least get some sexy wings."

Tamsin mentally added that to her weekly - okay, monthly - okay, whenever she felt like it - report. "That'd really spice up your sex appeal," she said.

"Not if I inherited the bad teeth, too."

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On the Outskirts of the Preserve, Thursday Afternoon

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