Luke's, Saturday

[6buckstohisname.livejournal.com]

When Dean woke up this morning, he was disorientated and lost. Mostly shown by stumbling around and holding his head like he had a terrible headache. But that was not the case here!

Oh no. Instead, he had...

...

...

...Amnesia.

Aw yeah, dramatic pauses.

"Who am I?" Dean asked the cooks. "Where am I?"

The cooks just went back to fighting over who slept with who's fiance this weekend. The answer was all of them. All of them slept with each other's fiances.

[[Who needs OCD today?]]

Comments

[not_a_whiner]

A hooded figure in long robes appeared inside the diner, his head bowed.

He said nothing, even though the camera lingered on him for an inappropriately long time.

[6buckstohisname.livejournal.com]

Well, the camera knew what the viewers liked. And they liked dat ass. Which somehow was highlighted even with the robes.

It was a gift of the costuming department.

Dean gave the mysterious figure a frightened look. Because that seemed like the appropriate response.

[not_a_whiner]

"Dean," the man said, employing the kind of voice reverb that was supposed to sound menacing.

[6buckstohisname.livejournal.com]

It was very deep. And autotuned.

"Dean?" Dean said, looking around like he was in a crowd instead of alone. Got to overplay everything there. "Who's Dean?"

[not_a_whiner]

"Dean," the man repeated.

He lifted up a single finger and pointed at him.

[6buckstohisname.livejournal.com]

"Who is Dean?!"

Was the sobbing necessary? No. Was it award bait? YES.

[not_a_whiner]

"You know what you did, Dean."

No, he didn't, he had amnesia. But who cared?

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Jeffy Maroe, ex-star running back and recent paraplegic, sat in his wheelchair waiting to be shown to a table. "Hello?" he called. "Can I get some service? You're not avoiding me because of the wheelchair, are you? That's racism!"

[6buckstohisname.livejournal.com]

Dean's corpse remained on the floor, looking tragic and perfect. Also still somehow bleeding from the head.

No one should question this. They should mourn his death, no doubt at the hands of the Skywalkers and those in their employment.

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"Hello?" Jeffy called again. He began rolling through the diner, looking for people, but it was completely empty. Other than the cooks. They didn't count, because they were just extras.

"Hellooooooo? Is anyone... AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

He gasped in shock at the dead man on the floor. "Someone's dead in here! Call an ambulance!" He waved at the cooks. "Call 911!" Oh, sure, NOW they existed.

[6buckstohisname.livejournal.com]

"Avenge... meeee..." Wow, that corpse had enough energy to say that.

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"I will," Jeffy solemnly promised.

"I will strike down Skywalker and Wayne, and they will never kill you again!"

[lovemykilt]

Ah yes, Dean's dramatic amnesia was all going according to Priestly's plan.

I mean, it probably wasn't originally written that way, but it was the perfect in for an evil twin plot, so we're using it, anyway.

Priestly watched as his twin fussed about from the secrecy of a convenient and dramatically dark booth in the far corner of the restaurant. Occasionally, he indulged himself in a soft, maniacal laugh.

It was all according to Priestly's (entirely unintelligible and most likely non-existent) master plan.

[6buckstohisname.livejournal.com]

There was a corpse rattle from Dean. Which, turns out, less dead than thought. But still pretty dead.

Really.

Maybe if someone was to get him lifesaving treatment from the Netherlands...

[lovemykilt]

Hey, Priestly was the evil twin, here. Evil. You could tell by the facial hair. Evil twins didn't do livesaving treatments from the Netherlands.

They might, potentially, do some evil necromantic type lifesaving treatments. But the key here was that it had to be evil.

[6buckstohisname.livejournal.com]

...well, an evil Winchester Zombie would allow him to take control of a few diamond mines.

Not all, but. You know.

"Ahhhhh." We get it, Dean. You're a half dead corpse. Now you're just playing it up.

[lovemykilt]

What, you thought there was going to be any subtlety involved in all this? Please.

Priestly considered his options, here. You could tell by the way he was dramatically stroking his mustache. Yes, having his good twin as a zombie to do his bidding might fit rather well into his (totally real, we swear, we'll even put it in the opening credits!) master plan.

He pulled a large leather sack from his pocket (he was evil, of course he traveled with suspicious looking leather sacks, you're lucky it doesn't have a skull and crossbones on it) and pulled some pinches of powder from it. Then he stepped out of the shadows long enough to sprinkle said dust on Dean's rattling corpse.

Then he laughed evilly again and stroked his mustache.

[14andseven]

Roland just happened to be passing by with his synthesizer just in time to add a lovely spooky organ riff to the proceedings.

It went super well with that evil laugh of Priestly's.

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

Kenzi was there too. What, like you didn't expect that? Please! She was so there. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20_26eACLa8)

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

Somewhere far, far away from Soap Opera land, a phone was dialed.

*Dinah's ringtone of comparative sanity*

[lovemykilt]

Priestly answered with a maniacal laugh.

You know, in case Dinah thought there was any chance of this conversation going normally.

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

Okay, that took a beat to be processed.

"Priestly?" Dinah double-checked. Checked the calendar. Nope, no random holidays for cackling. "What's going on?" Or, what are you on?

[lovemykilt]

"Dinah!" Priestly said, that cackle still underlying his words (seriously, SO MUCH hot tea). "My beloved! Our plan is nearly complete. Dean is completely under my thrall and soon I will have him sign over his entire inheritance to me. After he steals a diamond mine or two, of course."

Ah, now was the part where the villain monologued about his plans. Gotcha.

"Of course, I had considered your plan of simply having him killed and taking his place, but the damnable fool had to specify to his accountant that his secret birthmark, the one physical feature we don't share -- other than my dashing mustache -- be the requirement for signing out any of his funds. Zombification was absolutely the only way around it. Other than the pit full of ravenous mutant sharks, of course, but you know I like to save them for plan H."

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

...buh?

Dinah didn't even know where to start with all that.

Wait, no, yes she did. She got up and went to find some popcorn to microwave. This sounded like it needed it.

"You couldn't just get the birthmark tattoo'd on?"

Look, she was curious!

[lovemykilt]

What? NO. That would make sense!

"It's in a really delicate location," Priestly explained, after a dramatic moment for the writers to catch up with outsider logic pause. "And you know I can't stand needles."

His skin was -- for this weekend at least -- totally pristine, after all.