Curiosities, Oddities, and Antiques - Saturday

[voiceoverdue]

Cecil was cold. So very cold. His cold-weather gear was more photogenic than actually warm, and the wind had artfully blown his scarf from his face the entire way here.

There was a box waiting in front of the store; he didn't recognize the sender, but it had a lot of really big stamps on it, and was tied with twine. He brought it in and opened it up to find a number of odd-looking, culture-indeterminate figurines.

The letter with them read:

For the shop. I found these in a remote tomb that had never been explored before. The natives all claim they're cursed; isn't that silly? They should bring in some good money, though!

Cecil eyed the things, shrugged, and put them in the window, along with a sign:

Sale! Primitive sculptures!

He supposed they'd see.



[OOC: Open post, no OCD!]

Comments

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Jeffy Maroe, ex-star running back and recent paraplegic, rolled his wheelchair into the store and picked up one of the figurines to examine. "I like this," he announced. "It's very... ethnic."

[voiceoverdue]

"They're new," Cecil told him, smiling. "Straight from someplace really ethnic. They're supposed to be powerful magic, or something." That was what the note had said, wasn't it? He was sure of it!


[OOC: OMG, one of these days I will reply with the right account! OTOH, I finally got a notification!]

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"I'll take one!" Jeffy decided. "Ethnic AND magic? That makes for a great combination, which can't at all possibly go wrong!"

[voiceoverdue]

"Of course!" Cecil agreed, beaming. He grabbed one and set it on the counter, carefully wrapping it up. "Do you think they grant wishes or something?" You never knew, with magic!

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"Aren't you supposed to be the one who knows that?" Jeffy asked. "Is there a label, or a manual, or something?"

[voiceoverdue]

"I didn't see one." Cecil held up a finger. "Let me look again."

He rummaged under the counter for the box and pushed aside a lot of shredded paper in it. "No, I don't think - oh, wait!" He beamed and held up a piece of paper, not noticing another one that fell to the ground. "Here it is!"

He read it, holding it up (but not far enough to block the view of his face). "According to the natives, if you hold the idol, concentrate on it, and pray really hard to...there's a name here, but I can't quite make it out...three times, it will grant you a wish! Nifty!" He squinted at the name, then held the paper out to Jeffy. "Can you read that?"

As he rounded the counter to get closer, the camera panned in for a closeup of the second piece of paper, which read, "But because it's cursed, it will ruin you. Don't try it!"

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Jeffy peered at the paper. "It... looks like it says 'Jeffy'! That's MY name!" It really didn't, but someone was a bit self-centered. "I always pray to Jeffy! And man, I could really use a wish right about now." He gestured down at his legs, and then hung his head in his hands and sobbed. "Oh, I'm so broken!"

[voiceoverdue]

"Oh!" Cecil put his hands to his mouth, looking sympathetic. "No, you're not!" He leaned against Jeffy to give him a comforting hug. "Everything will be fine, you'll see! You'll walk again! The doctors will find some way! And you'll be the best player ever!"

The camera focused close on his teary-yet-affectionate face as he did his best to convey years of crush in a single moment.

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Jeffy tried to pull away, and patted Cecil's back awkwardly... and then the camera zoomed in on his face as his expression went from surprised to cunning. He leaned into the hug and sighed. "You're such a nice kid, Cecil," he said. "I've always liked you. Always really liked you. And the Cecil that I like... he wouldn't make me pay for this statue, would he? He wouldn't do that to a... friend?"

[voiceoverdue]

The light reflected in Cecil's eyes fetchingly, making him almost literally starry-eyed. "Consider it a gift!" he answered, smiling for all he was worth. It would come out of his paycheck, but he didn't care! Jeffy liked him!

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

Kenzi wandered in at some point, with her bodhran.

Strangely, she started drumming ominously when she passed the masks.

"Hey, Cecil. How's tricks?"

[voiceoverdue]

"Oh, you know." Cecil sighed theatrically. "Nothing interesting ever happens here."

He paused to build up the dramatic tension.

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSdPOB9Snrw)

"I hear ya. Weekends here, if you're not turning into a pink pony, there's not a lot to do." She cocked her head and hopped up on the counter. "Are you wearing less clothes for some reason?"

DUN DUN?!

[voiceoverdue]

"Ratings. I think they're flattering," Cecil protested. "What have you been up to lately?"

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you know. Wandering around, watching stuff. Checked out the hotel. Awesome food." She poked at him. "We need to find someone to get fake-married so we get presents."

Soap Opera Kenzi really wasn't that different from Real Life Kenzi.

[voiceoverdue]

"Don't only the married people get presents?" Cecil asked, confused.

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"That's what I meant!" Kenzi shook her head at him. "Then, hello, quickie Vegas divorce at some point later, and we trade in the gifts for cash!"

Toby, somewhere, should be afraid.

[voiceoverdue]

"Oh!" Cecil grinned at her. "Okay, let's do it!"

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

That was an excessively cheerful four-count you just tapped out there, Kenzi.

"Coolness! How's tomorrow work? I think I could talk Dracula into letting us use his theater."

[voiceoverdue]

"Sure! Oo, do you think we can get invitations out right away? Or - I know, posters!"

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"Perfect!" Kenzi beamed in delight. "Just enough time for me to get a great dress. And one for you too, if you wanna wear one instead of a tux. Oh, and hey, maybe find somebody to officiate. I wonder if that Ron guy's around."

[voiceoverdue]

"Hm." Cecil thought about it. "Which do you think would look better? Oh! Can Foucault be my best man?"

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"Of course! I'm gonna need Bo as my best woman. Hmm. You want Sparkle, or can I make him be the flower girl?... You know, if we wear matching red dresses, it would be extra fabulous."

[voiceoverdue]

"Done!" Cecil may have bounced a little in excitement. "Oo, he'd make a lovely flower girl! Do you think he'll do it if we ask, or should we kidnap him instead?"

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"Hmm. Ask first, then kidnap him."

Kenzi was kind of hoping he'd say no, let's be clear.

"Oh! We gotta have pancakes at the reception! And waffles!"

[voiceoverdue]

"Chocolate chip!" Cecil insisted. He pulled out his phone. "Should we text him now? And, oh! We can start on the posters! There's a computer in the back room."

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"~Awe-some!~" Kenzi did a rimshot off a brass elephant and added, "Maybe someone will give us a honeymoon trip we can take Toby and Carlos on!"

[voiceoverdue]

"Mmm." Cecil sighed. "Someplace warm."

He texted Sparkle, put a sign up about ringing the bell for service, put up the bell, and practically skipped to the back room.