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The Arms Hotel, Saturday

Nick wasn't going to ask, today. He wasn't. If there was some kind of thing going on this weekend that meant that the Arms lobby was crawling with small children and strange teenagers who seemed to know exactly where they were going, he really, really wasn't going to ask.

Nope. He was going to do a crossword puzzle at the front desk and silently pray that none of those kids were there for him.

He so lucked out.

Welcome to the Arms Hotel!
Today's Specials:
Snickerdoodle Pancakes
Milk and Peanut Butter Cookies
Jell-O

At least it all seemed safe this weekend, he supposed.

[Open!]

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Pancakes!

They might or might not be made of people. Who knows?

Unless you're here to call him 'Dad,' in which case you can march right back out that goddamn door.

OJ had gotten to town and went to see his mom... only to discover she didn't actually live here anymore. You'd think she would have left a note. And since this meant he didn't have anywhere to stay now, he was going to have to fix that.

Of course, since he was fourteen and trying to get a hotel room, he tried to make his voice deeper and tried to seem at least a little more adult when he said, "I'll have your finest room, my man."

Was not that smooth? Probably not, huh?

It was a very respectable effort toward being smooth, at least. Nikolai raised an eyebrow at the kid, smirking faintly.

"The finest is the Presidential Suite," he shared. "Also happens to be the most expensive in the hotel. You figure your mom and dad can afford that?"

Nick, don't patronize the adorable little Jedi.

OJ smiled and presented his mom's credit card. He was definitely too smart to go through any portals without some kind of safety net, hello. "I think they can."

Okay, Nikolai had to chuckle a little at that, shaking his head. At least the kid came prepared, he'd grant him that much.

"Nothing like a little bit of plastic to save the day, huh? How long are you going to need the room for, kid?"

"The weekend? Maybe? However long the portal's around for. You know what, let's play it by ear." Adults said things like that. He didn't get the phrase at all but that didn't matter.

"Play it by ear," Nikolai echoed, still pretty amused, here. "Sure, kid. We can give it to you for the night, and see if you'll be needing it again tomorrow, go from there."

It was a ridiculous phrase, but at least it got the point across.

"Name?"

"Qui-Gon Kenobi," he replied. And look, no one could call him by a stupid nickname that got him weird looks on Earth!

Yeah, thanks for that, Mom.

That was... definitely a name this poor kid had, yep. Nick raised an eyebrow, and then turned to his computer.

"Oookay. And how do you, uh, spell that?"

Yeah, Sorry, Qui-Gon. You were getting a weird look.

OJ paused, and finally realized the downfall of using his real name here.

"Just spell it 'OJ'," he sighed.

"That's exactly how I figured it was spelled," Nikolai replied with a smirk. Poor kid. Must have the most cruel parents in the galaxy. "And have you got any special requests for the room, Qui-Gon spelled O-J? We can have room service sent up or whatever you need during your stay."

"Does this include puppies?" he asked, very seriously.

Wasn't like he was paying for it.

"That... is a very good question. Like, puppies to keep, or rental puppies?"

Wasn't like he was cleaning up after them.

"Definitely rental puppies," he said after a moment. "Don't think they'll go over well at home."

"Yeah, most parents aren't thrilled when their kid comes home with a sudden dog. We don't usually do the rental puppy thing, but I can look into it for you. See if the shelter would be up for letting some kid hang out with some needy dogs for a day or two."

He didn't think the answer would be no around here, but then, he really couldn't speak for the shelter employees, either.

"I'll make sure you get an excellent tip," OJ said. Because again, not paying for it.

Nikolai could totally respect that logic.

Because, really, he was the worst superhero ever.

"And I'll appreciate that. Any kind of, I don't know, dog preference? Big dogs? Medium dogs? Yappy little purse dogs? If I actually manage to pull this off, I want to at least make sure you've got dogs you like."

"Not a purse dog. I don't even have a purse," OJ said, shaking his head. "How about something medium? I'm not picky. Just a good dog."

He wasn't here enough to know the breeds, or he'd be picky.

"Good dog it is," Nick replied, nodding. "We'll see what they've got, anyhow, and I'll call up to your room if it works out. You have any experience with dogs, OJ?"

"Oh, sure, plenty."

Which meant he'd petted them.

"Know how to take 'em for walks when they need to piss and what to feed 'em and all that?"

That was not the 'oh sure, plenty' or the 'just a good dog' of a kid who had grown up with dogs, was the thing.

"Oh, yeah," he said, a little more confidently. Some of that was where being a Jedi came in a little more handy. "I can do all that."

"Well, good. My boss would never forgive me if the most expensive suite in the hotel wound up with stains in the carpet."

Then again, Mary was pretty easygoing... Still, Nikolai didn't want to risk it.

"If that's everything, I can get you paid up for the night and give you your room key. Try to avoid too many wild parties up there, okay?"

Yeah. Like Nikolai was worried.

Momoko had gotten a text from Jaime that the future kids were in town! She hadn't gotten any calls from her own kids, though, but she at least wanted to be on the island just in case!

"Hello, I need a plate... Uh, I mean room?" Sorry. She was distracted by the Specials sign. Mmmmmmm. Snickerdoodle pancakes.

"You can get a plate with the room, if that's what you like," Nick replied, smirking faintly.

What? She was cute.

"Here with the influx of ankle biters?"

"I hope that's a term for future kids, and not some new invading creatures." Momoko chuckled back at him. "Though either way could be fun!"

"I'm back hoping for some kids, yes, but I haven't anyone call me momma yet. You?"

"Proud father of none and completely fine with that," Nikolai shared. "Not that I don't like kids, really. I just have no damn clue what to do with 'em."

Sure, he represented a few child stars back in LA, but that was different. He mostly wound up working with their parents, anyhow.

"Feed them, hug them, apply bandaids, give them baths when they're dirty, make sure they wear clothes and don't eat too much sugar." Momoko counted off on her fingers. "Ah! And take them flying. That's pretty much all I know... though apparently I do better in the future."

"I'm actually hoping that I get some this year that came before."

"Well, last I checked, I couldn't fly," Nick noted, "so I'm already failing in my parental duties with this hypothetical kid. The rest doesn't sound like rocket science or anything, so it might not even be so bad. This is something that happens often around here? You said 'last year,' so..."

Nick was trying to figure out if he was going to have to plan for kids on a regular basis or something. That weekend where people were turning into them had been a handful enough.

Edited 2014-02-16 00:33 (UTC)

Momoko nodded, shifting her bag. "At least once a year. Though not everyone gets a kid visiting. It used to happen around Prom, but sometimes it happens earlier."

"I've given up guessing, and just coming back when I get called."

"Well, I guess the students did have a Valentine's dance yesterday," Nick noted. "Guess that explains that. Gonna have to start paying attention to what they're up to at that crazy school, I suppose."

Yeah, that wouldn't last long. He'd get bored and stop in less than a week.

"So, what kind of room did you have in mind, and for how long?"

"Believe me, if you try to figure out reasons for the way the island does things, you will totally go crazy," Momoko laughed.

"A double should be okay, just in case. Hopefully I won't be calling you for a cot or anything, I've never had more than three kids of my own at once. And for the weekend, please. I'll be leaving Monday night."

"Sounds to me like you have this down to a science," Nikolai chuckled, shaking his head as he turned to pull up the room listing on the computer. "So, is it that they leave again Monday, or that you need an extra day to recuperate after two days of kidsitting?"

"Sometimes they leave on Monday," she made wry face. "Sometimes you need the extra time to work off the hangover from saying goodbye." Especially when they're kids that will never exist.

"Either way, though, I have a test on Tuesday that I can't miss, so I have to be back in my own world."

"Fair enough," Nick replied, and then he took a moment to rattle off a room number and a price for the next few days. "Sound good to you? Should be plenty of room in there for a cot if you need it."

"Sounds perfect!" She handed over her bank card. "And as soon as I get settled in, I am totally coming back down for a plate of those pancakes."

...

And then her phone buzzed at her. She pulled it out and blinked hard at the message. "Well, it looks like I've maybe got one."

"Mazel tov?" Nick smirked as he rang her card through the system and passed her a room key. "Here's hoping that you and Junior have a good weekend, then. If I get stuck with any after all, I'll just send them your way, too."

Seriously, no paternal instincts with this one whatsoever.

Momoko probably had a funny and slightly flirty response for that, but she was staring at her phone. "'He says he's the General'... EH?! Jono?!?!?!"

Hoooboy. Poor girl's world was getting good and crazy, now, from the look of it.

"Good General? Bad General? It's apparently someone you know, at least?"

"Good general." Momoko finished tapping out her row of question marks and hit send, then shook her head in disbelief.

"Jono's a friend, yes. He was my commanding officer, so I started calling him that. And apparently in some universe we have a kid. This is totally going to be an interesting weekend."

"Pretty safe to say any weekend where you find out you've got a kid is an interesting one," Nick chuckled, shaking his head. Seriously, may he never learn the same.

This place.

"Should I have Gunther whip up extra pancake batter for you and your brood, then?"

Momoko sighed. "If he's a kid of mine, definitely."

The next text had her laughing insanely... "Oh oh oh! And he has a kid with Doctor Lecter?!"

Oops. She covered her mouth, still laughing. "Thank you! I've got to go unpack and then meet some kids. I'll have the pancakes for dinner. Lots and lots of pancakes!"

Well, now Nikolai was going to be left with that mental image. Dr. Lecter. With a kid. With some dude.

"Plenty of pancakes it is," he replied, laughing. "Don't get too trampled by the pitter-patter of little feet, there."

Someday I'll remember he has a job here before early afternoon.

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The Arms Hotel, Saturday

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