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The Perk | Sunday Morning

After last week's triumphant debacle, Jim was hoping that maybe this week would be a little less confusing. His concern hadn't abated but it was hard to do anything about it when the person he was concerned about didn't seem to exist anymore save for in his memories. It had to be the island. He'd been hearing voices and now Natalie was Nathan so something had to be going on. Jim had to think that way or he'd start feeling helpless and hopeless and no. Nope.

He was awake early, nursing a coffee in the Perk while he read through the newspaper. He didn't think a newspaper would help with anything but he wanted to be out of his room and away from the school for a bit. He wanted to unwind, stretch his legs and hopefully have some epiphany that might tell him what the hell was going on so he could fix it. He didn't know what he was supposed to do but he knew he could fix this. He just had to figure it out.

Somehow.

[Open place and post]

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Nathan had stuck around on the island overnight for sanity reasons. And now he intended to have a coffee and maybe a muffin in comfortable surroundings while checking his emails before hopping a portal to Brazil.

Spotting Jim when he entered? Not a great thing for his sanity. He paused at the door for a second, then forced himself to walk to the counter, anyway.

Wonder if he could just buy his damn coffee without getting noticed?

If it helped, Jim didn't notice when Nathan came in. He was too engrossed in his own thoughts and people came and went all the time. He didn't look up.

But, maybe he'd pick up something familiar in a second or so.

Nathan really hoped he didn't, because he'd had quite enough rejection lately to last him for awhile.

So he wasn't thrilled when the barista decided to try and push a fancier type of coffee and donut combo on him. "Look, I just want what I ordered. Please."

At that, Jim glanced up and his eyes settled on Nathan. He sighed and felt his concern for the lack of Natalie grow. But, he also had come to the realization that it wasn't Nathan's fault.

(Hopefully.)

He didn't say anything but his eyes stayed on the other boy, watching quietly.

Oh, trust him, if this had somehow been Nathan's doing? He would've already put everything back the way it was because this had been the worst week he'd had in a good long while.

It took a second to convince the barista that he knew what he wanted, but it happened. When he got his coffee, he turned to go, but hazarded a glance at Jim (couldn't help it) – and kind of paused in place when he realized he was being watched.

He didn't run away, give him points for that.

Yes, Jim gave him points for that. Imaginary points. He licked his lips and sat back, staying quiet for the moment.

"What are you doing in town?" he asked quietly. "And don't go taking that wrong way. It's curiosity. Nothing else."

"Just passing through and taking a break."

That was a simplification of what he was doing here. But he had some walls up right now. Keeping his tone and his manner extra mild. It was weird to do that around Jim again, but, well, maybe this wasn't his Jim.

"Why are you curious?"

"Because I can be," Jim said neutrally. "And because I know you're always really busy with that Peter guy."

Peter would always be known as 'that Peter guy.' He wasn't even sorry.

"He knows I'm going through a stressful time right now," Nathan replied, a bit more dryly. It hid an edge he didn't really want heard. "And not everything needs my personal overseeing."

"Uh huh." Jim rubbed his lower lip with his thumb. "Sorry about your stressful time. I think it's happening to a lot of us lately."

"Mm. Sorry."

It didn't sound entirely sincere. He had his reasons.

"I wasn't asking for an apology," he said, shaking his head. "But thanks anyway. Your sincerity is appreciated."

Nathan held back a whole string of cutting remarks. None of them would serve any purpose other than revealing just how hurt and uncomfortable he was feeling over this whole thing.

He brushed his hair back away from his face. Just that one bit of body language in all the mildness. "I guess I'm just going to go now," he said. "Wouldn't want to cause any unnecessary stress."

Okay, so that got out.

"You're not," Jim said, shaking his head. "This is weird and strange but I get that it's not your fault, okay? I was seriously caught off guard. I can't apologize for that but I apologize that you caught got in the crossfire."

He shrugged.

"Something is going on with this island and it's roped everyone into it and I'm sorry that you're getting beat over the head with people not knowing you."

For a little while, Nathan didn't react at all. Then he nodded, slowly.

"Thanks for acknowledging that."

That one was a bit more sincere. Because this wasn't happening by his choice. So, so, so far from it. Not that having that acknowledged helped with how alone he felt. But still.

"I still don't know you and I'm sorry. But I get that you know me and I'm sorry if I pissed you off. You gotta see it from my point of view, though, because I wasn't expecting to lose a girlfriend and gain a boyfriend."

He pursed his lips.

"Again, not your fault but it's not easy to be presented with someone telling you that your memories are wrong. And yeah, I get that I did it too. It sucks all around."

Seriously, Nathan just wanted to go to sleep and wake up to find everything miraculously back to normal, because this was just squeezing his chest in a painful way.

"Wish you'd stop talking like you don't know me at all," he noted quietly and oh so mildly after a moment. "I've talked to people. This Natalie girl has the same friends as I do. She's done the same things."

"Man, I'm trying," Jim said, rubbing a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, this is gonna be weird for me. And it's gonna take some time to adjust to. To have my memories all the sudden be null and void? Not a great feeling."

And he figured Nathan would know since he was feeling it too.

"It's harder for me. Sorry."

Nathan's eyebrow arched up in a rather familiar way.

"I hope you mean it's harder for you than some other thing, and not harder for you than it is for me."

Because seriously.

"No. I meant it's harder for me than it might be for Natalie's other friends," Jim told him huffily. "Because you should know how long it took me to open up to you. Her. Whatever. I'm emotionally stunted. Being open and accepting is harder for me than random friends she has."

That was a lot more acceptable.

"They're not random," Nathan replied mildly. Hey, Jim wasn't the only person in this conversation who took their time letting people in. "But it's harder for me too. That you don't know who I am. It wasn't great to meet Clint when I had to tell him who I am, but that was nothing compared to you."

Which he knew Jim already knew. He wasn't sure why he was reiterating it. Maybe because he was trying to repress a lot while feeling like he might tear at the seams sooner rather than later.

"Yeah well, I can't say I should have reacted differently because it was a major surprise," Jim said, shaking his head. "I probably would still react in the exact same way. I still have no idea what's going on and I'm still wondering which of us has the right memories."

Which sounded weird.

"And all I mean by that is which of us is getting fucked with by this island."

"Both, Jim," Nathan said, his voice exactly as flat as before, but quieter. "It's both."

They were both getting fucked with by the island right now.

"But really, who do you think has the memories that don't fit with the greater narrative here?" he added, glancing down at his coffee. "I think you're good. The majority is on your side."

"Doesn't mean you're wrong," Jim told him, shaking his head.

"I didn't say it did," Nathan replied softly, still looking down at his coffee. He was yet to take a single sip.

He wasn't going to think his memories were wrong, because that... Yeah, that was breeding ground for a full-on psychological breakdown, right there.

"Look, I'm sorry," Jim said, getting to his feet and tossing his empty cup in the trash. "Wish there was more I could do but -- "

He shrugged helplessly.

"But there's nothing you can do."

This whole thing sucked. Sucked so much.

"Yeah. I know."

"Yeah."

He stood there awkwardly for a second before he let out a breath.

"Look, I'll talk to you later," he finally said. "Enjoy your day."

Nathan huffed out a sound that was kind of a laugh, but too joyless to really count. Then he shrugged a shoulder.

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye."

Jim shook his head and stomped his way out of the Perk. Time to go get angry by beating something up or drinking something hard.

One or the other.

Edited 2014-03-02 21:51 (UTC)

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The Perk | Sunday Morning

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