fandomtownies | The Perk, Saturday morning

Flash was in a bad mood to start with today. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, whatever you want to call it. And it wasn't improved by this whole stairs all over town thing. He moved so slowly even on his artificial legs because of the damn things, and all he wanted was a cup of tea to help calm himself down. Fine. Whatever, he would use the symbiote as a crutch for the moment and use its legs for a while. At least then he could walk like a normal person in this frustrating place.

But when he got to the Perk, that was the last straw. "What do you MEAN you're out of chamomile?" His stress level was getting too high, Flash knew it. But it was their fault. All he wanted was the world's default relaxing tea! "All we wanted was a simple cup of tea annnnd you won't give IT TO US!"

As he was complaining, Flash's black shirt started to stretch down his arms and up his neck. In seconds, his body's frame and musculature grew and a toothy horror mask formed on his face. To complete the image, a white spider symbol appeared on his front and back, and a long tongue grew out of his mouth.

Flash's anger changed to panic. The symbiote - hopefully just the symbiote - was in the driver's seat now. He had to fight to keep it from going completely crazy. "Fine! We'll take a coffee! Black as this!" Venom launched a tendril in front of the clerk's face for reference. "TO GO! Write the name Venom on the cup! V-E-N... You know how to spell our name! DO IT OR WE'LL DUNK YOUR BRAINS IN THE COFFEE BEFORE EATING THEM! We'll wait over here."

Venom stepped over to the side so he could glare at the clerk. If he even thought about putting cream in the coffee....

[OOC: Open for any of your early morning coffee or not-yet-rampaging alien monster needs!]

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Eliot watched all this unfold casually from where he was enjoying his own cup of coffee.

"You sure caffeine's what you want to go for, buddy?" he asked the disturbingly fanged, creepy ass monster thing, as though he talked to disturbingly fanged, creepy ass monster things every day. He even smiled.

"We're just not awake until we have our morning cup o' joe!" Venom joked as he leaped over to Eliot's table. He turned a chair around AC Slater-style and sat down. "We're not very pleasant when we're still tired and grumpy."

Eliot nodded. "Chemical dependency can be nasty," he said, setting his cup down. "Don't think I've seen you around before."

He had a very distinctive physical presence, after all.

"We're not a social animal. We wouldn't be here at all but our coffeemaker broke," Venom said with a shrug. "We are Venom. Pleased to meet you, your arm looks delicious."

"Thanks," Eliot said. He did have nice arms. "I work out."

Internally, Flash sighed. Didn't the guy realize that an alien monster wanted to eat his arm?

Venom laughed. "It shows. You need to do more reps to get a bod like ours, though," he said while flexing to show off his comically huge muscles. He considered this to be playing with his food.

Edited 2014-05-24 17:59 (UTC)

Well, sure, but Eliot was feeling extremely calm, today. And he'd spent some time working out how best to fight a space alien, already. The teeth were a bit unexpected, but he could improvise.

"Good to know. Not really a look I'm going for, though. My job requires a certain amount of subtlety."

"Subtlety's overrated!," Venom said, flipping backwards onto another table. "For example, WHERE IS OUR COFFEE?!"

The barista put a lid on the cup and held it up. Venom held a fist out, fired a webline at the cup, then pulled it to his hand with one jerk. "You forgot the sleeve! Don't expect a tip!"

Venom turned back to Eliot. "See? If we were subtle, she might not have gotten over her crippling fear of us and we'd be thirsty right now!"

He sipped some of his coffee.

This asshole was really doing his best to ruin Eliot's calm, wasn't he.

It wasn't really working. Eliot was now very calmly deciding whether or not the trash can was sturdy enough to be used as an effective projectile against Venom, if the need arose.

"On the other hand, if you weren't yelling at her, she might not have forgotten the sleeve."

"It's not a perfect system," Venom admitted. "But we were using our indoor voice! We just live in a very noisy house where we have to shout to be heard over the breaking bones and anguished screams!"

Apparently Venom lived in a theater that played Saw movies on a loop.

"I lived in a place like that before," Eliot said. International crime organizations could be a bitch. "Hard to get any sleep."

"Which is why I need the java," Venom said before gulping down the rest of the drink. And the cup. And then he spat the lid out in the direction of the garbage. "Plastics upset our tummy."

"Could be the BPA," Eliot said. "It's better to eat all natural, anyway."

He maybe shouldn't make dietary suggestions to the creature that had mentioned the deliciousness of his arms.

Oh well, he'd worry about that when he had to.

"We try, but it's so expensive have people delivered for a late night snack of brains and livers," Venom complained.

"In my experience, people don't take too kindly to being eaten," Eliot agreed. "Have you tried switching to pork?"

"We've tried, but the stomach wants what it wants," Venom said. "That's life. Briefly, for some people."

"That's unfortunate," Eliot said. "I don't really take kindly to people being eaten, either."

Trashcan wouldn't work for long. He'd be better off beating on this thing with a table.

"Oooh, is the big, bad man looking to pick a fight?" Venom asked. "That would suit us just fine. We were getting a little peckish."

"Don't pick fights." Eliot casually sipped his drink. "And you're just here for a coffee, right?"

"If you're going to be boring about it, sure, I guess," Venom said, sounding annoyed. Brains just weren't that tasty if there didn't have adrenaline. Anger, fear, ANYTHING. No point to eating Eliot if he wasn't going to put up a fight.

He could blame the mood crystal for that one. "For all I know, you're just posturing. Don't beat people up for posturing."

That would be rude.

"Well, keep that in mind when you hear radio tomorrow," Venom said. "Anything we do today, you could've stopped!"

Venom hopped off the table and started walking toward the door bfore stopping suddenly. "Well, you could have tried to stop. Adorably. For five seconds. Maybe longer if you gave us gas!"

Eliot should probably feel kind of worried about that.

Ah well.

"Longer," he said. "I'd start by jamming something in those teeth. Lots of plastic in here." He gave Venom a calm wave. "Have a nice day."

PEW. James arrived, ready to give an order to the still-traumatized barista. "Hey, can I get a five shot venti, two-fifths decaf, ristretto shot, one pump Vanilla, one pump hazelnut, breve, one sugar in the raw, with whip, carmel drizzle on top, free poured, four pump mocha. And I want that at 160 degrees, not a single degree more, got that?"

Then he looked around and saw Venom.

James turned back to the barista. "Y'know what, I just remembered, I've got something else to do today. In Baltimore. So I'm gonna cancel that order. I'll be by later, see how things are going."

PEW.

The Perk, Saturday morning

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