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Trooper Station | Friday

Stiles was pretty curious about that carnival he saw on the way to work. Super curious. He was kind of leery about carnival rides because they seemed like they were built by old drunks but he loved the food. He was seriously considering stopping there after work.

Or he'd leave work early to stop by. It's not like there was a lot to do today.

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He wanted a fucking funnel cake.

Irene knew better than anyone how important it was to get in good with the authorities in any given location. And she had, shamefully enough, been here for over a month before even setting one of her pretty little feet in here at all.

Which was why today she had meandered her way past the carnival today (perhaps later, though it really wasn't her thing) and wound her way into the trooper station, looking around curiously as she did so. She'd made a point to wear one of her perfectly-tailored white suits, and fussed with her hair longer than she should have -- if there's anyone that you ought to make a proper impression on, it's the cops, after all.

She tried not to let the obvious youth of the boy she found deter her, though it was a little disappointing, all the same. "Hello," she said with a small smile. "Are you...you're not the sheriff, are you?"

(Because even if he wasn't, wouldn't it be flattering to be mistaken for him?)

"Uh, no, the sheriff is my father," he said automatically. Then he realized she was talking about the sheriff of the place they were in, not Beacon Hills. "Well, not the sheriff of this town. But my dad's the sheriff of a town."

He lifted his head up from the computer screen to look at who he was talking to. Stiles thought she looked like a classy villain from a comic book. Which was a compliment.

He wasn't exactly wrong, honestly.

"Following in his footsteps, then?" she asked, tilting her head with a smile. "I always figured kids of cops would be the first to try to break the rules once they got away from home, but look at you, still upholding the law. Admirable."

"I didn't say I was upholding the law." Excuse you, he had a restraining order put against him once for kidnapping a dude.

"You work here," Irene pointed out logically, lifting a brow with a smile.

"That's true," he agreed. "But not all law enforcers uphold the law. I'm not even a law enforcer. I'm more like a secretary."

"A secretary of the law," Irene said, but her smile widened. "A man on the inside with flexible morals, though? Sounds like someone to get on one's good side."

She reached a hand out. "Irene Adler. I'm fairly new, only arrived a month or so ago."

"Stiles," he said, shaking her hand. "Oh! You're the sex lady."

"I prefer 'erotic counselor,' but I'll take it," Irene said, raising her eyebrows. "Didn't quite know I had a reputation, just yet."

"My boyfriend has mentioned you." And for Derek to mention anybody was impressive.

And cue Irene's eyes widening as she gave Stiles a more critical once-over. "Oh, my. You must be Derek's tragically university-bound boyfriend, then. Pleasure to finally put a name to the...well, shopping list."

No shame. None.

Stiles couldn't help but turn a little red. "Do I even want to know what you think of us?"

"That you're creative, experimental, and very much in love," Irene told him, leaning on his desk and smiling a bit more gently. "Though it's bloody hard to help Derek shop, I'm sure you know, so I'm terribly sorry if I've sent him home with anything you didn't fancy."

"No complaints yet," he said weakly. "I'm pretty fearless when it comes to that stuff."

At least he thought so.

"So I hear." Stop rubbing it in, Irene. "I've told Derek a couple times that he ought to bring you along -- by the sounds of it, you'd benefit from my advice more than he does, necessarily. Plus the couple who shops for sex toys together stays together, I always say."

No, she like, never said that, but it sounded good right now.

"Is that a saying in the sex toy industry?"

"I don't know, I'm rather new to selling sex toys, honestly," Irene admitted. "But it can be. I think it's true, anyway."

"It could be fun," he said. "I mean, if Derek doesn't die of embarrassment."

"You won't?" Irene checked. Derek would probably just skulk around and grunt at things, if his prior shopping experiences were any indication.

"I mean, I'd probably get embarrassed but not to the level where I'd die of embarrassment." He'd only want to hide a little bit.

"There's no reason to be embarrassed," Irene said, waving a hand. "It's not as though I actually care about your sex life. I'm a professional. I like to see people get what they like, that's all. And besides, if you came in with him, that'd prevent all his hemming and hawing about whether you'd like something or not."

"He does that?" Stiles asked.

"A little," Irene said with a nod. "Though I do encourage that to a degree -- communication is absolutely vital."

Plus Derek seemed to have some issues, so she was willing to indulge his adorable fretting a little.

"Communication is definitely not a problem," he said. "We are very vocal. We talked about sex, like, months before we were actually having it."

"That's both very sweet and sort of hot," Irene said honestly. "I suppose it had something to do with your age?"

Just a hunch.

He nodded. "Yeah, we waited until I turned eighteen...not my idea."

"Boy after my own heart. Age is just a number," Irene said sagely. "But that's very responsible of Derek."

It may have been obvious from her tone that 'responsible' was not necessarily a quality she especially admired.

"It was. But it was very frustrating," he said, sighing. "So are you actually interested in me and Derek's relationship or do you just want us to buy out your store?"

Because they could afford to, with Derek's money.

"I have to choose?" she asked coyly, smiling. "No, honestly, you seem like nice boys, so I don't see why you shouldn't have the most fulfilling sex you can, that's all. I have a vested interest in my business, of course, but I find that when people are happy, everything in life goes a little bit smoother. Particularly in a place as small as this."

"That's nice of you," Stiles said with a smile. "He and I could use a little happy."

If you have any.

Expect some SP 'cause I have some asshole taking up my time this weekend.

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Trooper Station | Friday

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