The Perk, Tuesday Morning

[endsthegame]

Ender, Ben and Cade were packing up for Naboo later that day - Ender couldn't say he was particularly sad about it. But with his few possessions already largely in their bags, he had very little to do this morning besides take a walk around the island, look at the various landmarks he wouldn't be seeing for a couple months at least, and then finally settle in at the Perk for a last hit of caffeine.

So there he was now, nursing his triple espresso and watching the people go by through the window. Not a bad last day, all in all. He was planning to make the most of it.

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[pulseof_life]

Yeul had not had any particular purpose in mind as she'd wandered the island but, then, she rarely bothered with a purpose. When she entered the Perk, Yeul had not even decided whether or not she would even get a drink.

Seeing Ender made her pause.

Well, she supposed saying hello trumped trying to decide if she wanted a drink or not.

"Good morning," she said lightly.

[endsthegame]

Ender returned her greeting with an absent smile and a, "Good morning, Yeul."

He took a sip of his drink. "Out for coffee?"

[pulseof_life]

"I don't really know," she said, smiling back at him. "I was out, and I wound up here, but I have not decided yet."

Truly, it was amazing she got anything done some days.

[endsthegame]

"You might as well," Ender said lightly. "Seems like a waste to walk into a coffee shop and just loiter." His mouth quirked.

[pulseof_life]

"But then comes the difficulty in picking out a drink to want," she replied, glancing over at the counter. "What if that is the decision that defeats me?"

[endsthegame]

"At that point, you could just as well run a random number generator," Ender noted. "If you don't care at all, then any drink will do."

"I could run one right now, if she thinks she can handle the stress," Jane snarked in his ear.

[pulseof_life]

"Perhaps," she said agreeably. "But I think I will wait for the moment. It is not an urgent decision."

[endsthegame]

"As you wish," Ender said.

He took another sip of his espresso and settled in again.

He wondered how long it would take for Yeul to say or do anything else - he had a suspicion it could be long.

[pulseof_life]

Yeul smiled vaguely at him and, seeing that he did not wish to break the silence, let it linger.

After all, she had the time.

[endsthegame]

So did Ender.

He sipped his coffee idly, shooting Yeul the odd absent glance as if this was a perfectly normal state of being for two human beings to be in.

Finally his coffee was done, and he slid back in his seat. Hm.

[pulseof_life]

Hm?

Was there anything unnatural about it? If so, it didn't seem that peculiar to Yeul.

She glanced at him inquiringly once he moved.

[endsthegame]

Ender raised his eyebrows at her.

Did she want something?

[pulseof_life]

That was always a complicated question.

The truth, in this case, was both yes and no.

Yeul twitched one shoulder in a shrug, turning her gaze back out the window. She supposed it wasn't that important.

[endsthegame]

Ender supposed he could have predicted that.

"My god," Jane cackled, "She's even chattier than you!"

"Yes?" he prompted.

[pulseof_life]

She blinked at him, though not without an understanding of what prompted his question.

"I wonder," she said, after the silence stretched a bit more, "if you have any thoughts upon being surprised despite having expected what you're surprised by."

[endsthegame]

"My thought," Ender said, "is that it is a very natural part of being human. Though my own experiences with it largely come down to expecting pain and being surprised by its severity."

He said this matter-of-factly, and he said it because he knew Yeul would not make a big deal out of such a statement.

[pulseof_life]

What was there to make a big deal out of? Yeul saw nothing in his words that would incline her towards doing so.

"I do not know that this is pain in the way you mean," she said, glancing at him with solemn eyes. "But I am finding that, despite low expectations, that the death of a hope is rather… uncomfortable."

[endsthegame]

"The death of hope?" Ender echoed gently.

[pulseof_life]

She smiled softly, looking down at her hands.

"Yes." Yeul smoothed two fingers over one of her bracelets. "My visions have begun again."

[endsthegame]

Ah.

Ender nodded. Quietly.

"You had hoped they would not. In spite of teaching yourself not to."

[pulseof_life]

"I must have," she said, a bit helplessly. "I do not remember beginning to hope, but if I hadn't, I do not think I would be so... discomfitted now."

[endsthegame]

"Hope is a survival mechanism," Ender said. "Bestowed on us by nature so we don't give up so quickly, and go to great lengths to make sure we keep on living."

He tilted his chin. "And it's pretty easy to switch back on after switching it off," he said, "from a certain point of view."

[pulseof_life]

"I do not have a choice about living," Yeul said, a touch wryly. "Or dying, for that matter."

She sighed. Softly.

"I had forgotten what hope felt like. I do not think I care for it."

[endsthegame]

"It's a pain in the ass, isn't it?" Ender said wryly. "Always popping up and bugging you when it's the least convenient."

[pulseof_life]

"Not always," she said, smiling slightly. "But in this case, yes. It is rather inconvenient. I wonder what I should do."