fandomtownies | Luke's, Monday

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Luke's, Monday

"Are you goddamn kidding me?"

Someone had replaced all the vegetables in the pantry with varying types of gourds and squashes. Eliot had noticed.

The cook came over and peered over his shoulder -- not difficult, since he was at least half a foot taller than Eliot was. "Huh," he said with a shrug. "Pumpkin spice everything."

"Pumpkin spice is not a thing!" said Eliot. "Pumpkins do not have natural spices! Pumpkin spice is a marketing gimmick to sell bland, 'seasonal' foods!"

The kitchen staff stared at him.

"I like pumpkin spice," said the busboy.

Eliot hated this town.

Today's specials
Tortellini with pumpkin alfredo
Spaghetti squash fritters
Butternut squash and parmesian bread pudding
Now hiring!

Luke's was open.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes, there were also lattes.

Ask him which part of the pumpkin the spice comes from.

"Don't you guys serve just like... cheeseburgers or something?" Vic asked as she sat down at the counter. "This vegetable stuff looks too healthy."

"It's a specials board," Eliot pointed out. "Not the whole menu." A beat. ". . . We're out of tomatoes or lettuce to put on the burger, though."

Dammit, Fandom.

Vic made a face of disgust. "What about a fried egg, bacon and three slices of American cheese?" she said. "And if there has to be a vegetable grilled onions."

"No onions, either." Eliot rolled his eyes. "Only vegetables in this damn place are winter squash. Your terrible taste is safe, today."

"Do you talk back to all your customers this way?" Vic said pulling down her shades to give Eliot a cop stare. "Your Yelp reviews are probably terrible."

"Nah," Eliot said. "Most of my customers have better taste." This wasn't even remotely true. But he wasn't the sort of person to say "just the ones I actually like".

Yeah. Okay. You're asking for this one Eliot.

"I'll have that cheeseburger then with the fried egg and the cheese," she replied. "And do you have pumpkin pie with cool whip for dessert? Especially if you have one of those frozen pies."

Eliot stared at her for several moments. "No," he said. "We don't have any frozen pies or cool whip."

That was also, mostly likely, not even remotely true. That freezer had everything.

"Are you sure?" Vic asked with mock politeness. "I hear your freeze is pretty big. Maybe you should go back and check."

"I am not going into that freezer," Eliot said.

Not until he worked out how to fight off polar bears without a gun.

"Fine. Then I'll have a pumpkin spice milkshake," Vic said decisively. "With cool whip topping."

Eliot let out a long-suffering sigh. "You know 'pumpkin spice' doesn't actually have any -- what am I saying? For you that's probably a feature."

"Oh! So you'll make it for me?" she asked cheerfully.

Eliot sighed again. "I'll make you a milkshake," he said. "With nutmeg and cinnamon and all the other spices that go into pumpkin pie. I will not call it 'pumpkin spice'. And I'm not going to put cool whip on it."

That stuff was disgusting. If you left it out to dry, it would last forever. Food wasn't meant to do that.

"Annnnnnnd the cheeseburger," Vic said. "Also with extra bacon. And the shake will at least have a maraschino cherry on it right?"

Vic would probably thoroughly enjoy the contortions that Eliot's face went through at that. "Maraschino --" He threw his hands in the air, giving up. "There is something wrong with you." He sent the order for the cheeseburger back to the cook to get it started and grabbed one of the shake glasses. "One of these days, I will teach you at least something about taste."

"Okay Mr. Gourmet," Vic said having thoroughly enjoyed Vic's reactions. "Then cancel the cheeseburger and show me what you can do. If you can wow me then... you get to choose my next seven meals. If you don't, then you have to make me whatever I want."

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OOC

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