fandomtownies | The Devil's Nest, Saturday, September 27

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The Devil's Nest, Saturday, September 27

The place had looked relatively (Parents Weekend pun not intended) normal when Bo walked in, which was usually a sign to be on guard because someone was waiting to spring the crazy on her when she least expected it. Three minutes later, she was apologizing to Tiny for the suspicious side-eye; the crazy was certainly there, and it was certainly crazy, but unless Tiny was doing a hell of job at moonlighting (pun intended this time), he wasn't responsible for the bright red, three-inch high, horn-wearing, pitchfork-carrying demons wandering up and down the bar.

Wearing parkas, because of course they were.

"You know that guy doesn't own this place anymore, right?" she asked the one who'd squeaked out that they were looking for their landlord because the climate-control back home had gone to...well.

For some reason, that didn't encourage them to leave. Either they didn't believe her, or they just didn't want to take "Yes, I'm a succubus, but no, dude, I have size limits, and they exist for your safety, ask Papa Smurf," as a final answer.

Whatever, as long as they stayed out of her way and stopped trying to dance with the salt shakers, Bo could deal.

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Keep a close eye on those frufru drinks; the demons seem to like stealing the umbrellas.

Lauren had prepped and prepped for seeing Bo again; prepped as a scientist, as an employee ~~slave~~ of the Light Court, and admittedly, as a woman very attracted to a succubus. She wanted to make a good impression, better than the first impression.

She did not prep enough, because there were tiny imps at the bar, crawling into the bowl of bar nuts. And she couldn't stop staring.

"Eww, get out of there!" Bo moved toward the snack bowl, adding, "Uh, sorry, them, not you," to the body at the bar whose face she hadn't caught yet.

So that lasted about three seconds. "You!"

"Me," Lauren repeated, feeling her I.Q. drop five points just talking to Bo. "I'm here. I mean, hi, Bo. It's -- nice to see you again?"

"Is that a question?" Bo grinned quickly, because as surprises went, tiny demons were both more disconcerting and less pleasant. "I hope it's not a question. Admittedly I'm wearing more clothes this time, so it could be a question."

"No! I mean, it's nice for me! To see you. I was just hoping it was nice for you to see me," Lauren babbled, then paused, closing her eyes. "I just, the little red guys threw me. And I wanted this to be a nice surprise."

"I said out! Or actually no - if you guys promise to stay in that one and only that one, you can do whatever the hell you want in it." That... was probably not the wisest offer she could've made. "As long as it's legal in this state," Bo added quickly to the horny smirk that had popped up out of the bowl of peanuts.

"Sorry," she said to Lauren. "They have tenant disputes; apparently this bar used to be a lot more literally named. Trust me, you're much more welcome than they are. But what're you doing here?"

Edited 2014-09-27 23:01 (UTC)

"Tenant dis--" Okay, Devil's Nest, demons, hmm! Interesting. But not the point. Lauren forced her brain back to her reason for being there. "I don't know if you've noticed, or if you're still taking them, but I checked my records and those suppressants I gave you samples of are about to run out." Breathe. "And, I thought-- well, it would be a good idea to check on you. See if you were okay. With those samples. Without the Ash..."

Okay, she was not going to be able to get out a full lie to Bo, not with the imps watching, but if she trailed off and kind of hinted that the Ash didn't know where she was, that was okay. Wasn't it?

Lauren wished she was only here because she wanted to be.

"Without the Ash deciding I need to either join his gang or make a comeback appearance on Canadian Ninja Deathbattle, if I came to you?" Bo finished for her helpfully. "Probably a good call."

She shot a glance toward her bag -- hanging from a tastefully gothy black iron coatrack behind the bar because Eric -- then looked back at Lauren. "Thank you. I'm not out yet -- you tend to skip a dose of meds here and there when the island turns you into a circus freak or makes you forget who you are for a weekend -- but it's getting close."

"The Island does what?" Lauren asked blankly, eyes wide. "And, uh, of course. I didn't want you to feel pressured." Just maybe, subtly grateful. "And I'm very confused and curious about this Island, I have to admit."

"You work for the king of the fairies, but you're confused by evil circuses and amnesia spells?" Bo was aware she'd oversimplified... practically every concept that just came out of her mouth, but it still struck her as funny.

"Well most of the time I'm in the lab. Or treating patients, and once you approach any illness from a medical viewpoint it tends to normalize--" She took a breath. "I'm sorry, I'm nervous, I talk too much when I'm nervous. But, I guess I'm saying: the magic I'm used to doesn't usually touch humans. Except once. Or maybe twice. And it seems like everything here could just-- change, any second."

Bo thought about that -- more about the other side of the equation than the Fandom side, because one was home, but the other was everything she'd never known about who and what she was. "The Fae do seem to be all about rules. They might be stupid, shitty rules, but they're still predictable if you know them. Fandom..." She shrugged. "Not so much. It's in the middle of a gazillion different realities; the only thing you can count on is that something weird is happening."

"But you like it here?" Lauren asked, glancing at the little red demons in the beer nuts and then quickly looking away. Gah! "How does that even work, a gazillion realities, I..." Science Overload! Meltdown! ENH ENH ENH!

Reset. "That's amazing."

"Most of the time, I love it - but how does it work?" That was a big, big shrug there. "You're talking to a girl who didn't finish high school; all I know is people and things show up here from all over; sometimes the island even moves to other places and times."

"Wow." Quiet awe there, and Lauren folded her hands to stop their fidgeting. "I'd love to stay and see that." She sighed. "But. I'm still working for the Ash, so." She shook her head, banishing that. "You don't want to come back to Canada any time soon, I take it."

"Hmm, a home, friends, two jobs and the chance to see a pink pony teach a cupcake baking class or a turf war that wants me to pick a side in a town where I'm pretty sure I'm already wanted for murder..." Bo made Scales Of Justice out of her hands as if she was seriously weighing the options.

"I'm not trying to convince you to come back, but. You should know, the Ash, plus some of the people who work for him, could probably handle any legal problems," Lauren said hesitantly. "But I'm pretty sure they can't do anything about the turf war. And I have never seen a pink pony." She paused, and said, "Although now I seriously want to."

"Pink mane. Pink tail. Pink everything. Suspected but not yet conclusively proven that she shoots pink glitter out of her ass when she's excited. Which is always."

Edited 2014-09-28 04:07 (UTC)

That got a goofy giggle out of Lauren, and a careful nod of acceptance. "That's-- a lot more cheerful than aswang or kelpies, I have to admit... Are there any other Fae on the island?"

"...Aswang?" It really had to be asked before answering anything like a serious question. Because. As. Wang. Most unfortunately ~~mispronounced to make the joke, sigh, canon~~ named fae race in history or what?

"I didn't come up with the name!" Lauren was laughing and turning pink. "They're carrion-eaters, very nice people, really... And I'm guessing that's a no, or you'd already know that."

"I'm not exactly a genius at figuring out who's Fae," Bo pointed out. "I mean, it took me almost 30 years to spot me. For all I know those two guys who hang out in front of the Quik-Stop all the time are really Weed Fairies."

"There aren't any-- ah. Ahahah, right." Lauren grinned, ducking her head. "Well, at least as far as I know, there aren't any." She took a breath. "So, what else is good to see around this Island, that isn't real dangerous? I'm not fond of that."

"Well, there's--" ~~My very large bathtub...~~ Seriously, brain? Seriously? "--a zombie band at the other bar?" Bo at least had an obvious reason to frown at herself. "Which sounds like it doesn't fit the less dangerous criteria, but Caritas is weird. It's got some kind of no-violence field."

"Really?" Lauren looked fascinated. "It's not just neutral territory? The Dal Riata is a sanctuary, but I don't know if it's protected by any kind of magic like that..."

"This is about as literal as you can get: throw a punch at somebody and you end up teleported outside and landing in the duck pond."

Lauren started laughing, and had to cover stop so she wouldn't choke on her drink. "Okay, I'm definitely going to visit there. Is it wrong that I hope to see someone throw a punch?"

Bo shook her head. "Sometimes I think that's the place's biggest draw. I mean... it can't be the zombie karaoke, right?"

"What? Does this island not have a stripper bar?" Archer demanded to know. "Most boring island ever!"

"I'm pretty sure the zombie bass player's girlfriend would shake her chazingas at Caritas for the right price," Bo offered, kind of amused at the concept of this place as boring. "You might have to tape them back on afterwards, but..." She shrugged.

"Oh, sure. If you want really ugly strippers," Archer said before realizing... hey. Hot bartender. "Detachable parts usually isn't a plus for strippers."

Bo eyed him dubiously. "You have clearly not been hanging out with the right strippers."

Not that she'd ... not with Zombie Yoko. No.

"Wait. You hang out with strippers?" Archer asked incredulously. "Ooooh. I like you. This must be my kind of place."

And that's when he spotted the little devils in parkas.

"Okay. Pam totally slipped something."

He chuckled.

"Cool."

Bo followed his gaze. "No, they're real. Annoying, but real. Which doesn't mean Pam didn't slip you something." He probably didn't mean Eric's Pam, but pardon Bo if she got a little distracted by the mental image.

Hopefully demon-free, for their sake. They'd just get squished if they found their way down here.

Where the vampire at the owner's table, if at some point there was a vampire at the owner's table, was definitely not Lucifer. See? See? There might be a surface resemblance, but no.

Yes, that was all so you could make "Whoa, MP posted the Devil's Nest, did hell just freeze over?" cracks.

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The Devil's Nest, Saturday, September 27

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