The Perk, Saturday morning

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"I don't want to call this coffee 'lukewarm' because it's still not as bad as my 'lukewarm' review of Darby Donovan's latest play, but it still isn't good," Robert Benchley told the barista after sipping his coffee.

Yes, Robert Benchley, the humorist, author, and film actor from pre-World War II America best known for his biting tongue as part of the Algonquin Round Table and even better known for his fire powers as part of the crimefighting team, the Algonquin Four! A celebrated group of America's sharpest wits met daily for lunch at the Algonquin Hotel, enjoying barbs and bon monts, until one day... A COMET STRUCK and those present found themselves possessed of powers beyond the ken of mortal men! Powers as dazzling as their intellects! And so Harry Houdini, Robert Benchley, Woodrow "Woodpecker" Wilson, and Dorothy Parker fight ferocious foes! They're the Algonquin Four!

But this was only one of them.

"Fortunately I know how to fix your shoddy work, just like I'd fix Darby Donovan's even shoddir work; FIRE UP!" Robert Benchley's free hand turned to flame, and he dipped a finger into his coffee to heat it to a proper temperature. "Just don't let me see you heat anything up like this or I'll have to send a witty warning to the health department. Just like I did after walking out of Darby Donovan's play."

[OOC: Johnny is Robert Benchley, the Human Torch character from the Thrilling Adventure Hour's Algonquin Four. Open for coffee, insults to you, insults to Darby Donovan, and unflattering comparisons between you and Darby Donovan.]

Comments

[imnotgoodatnice.livejournal.com]

Aeryn was just trying to get coffee, but she couldn't help but keep looking over at this guy. Mostly because she didn't think Darby Donovan even went here.

Also he was ahead of her in line but whatever.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"I wouldn't expect too much help from the people here," Robert Benchley confided to Aeryn. "They're about as qualified and attentive as a dog performing surgery."

[imnotgoodatnice.livejournal.com]

Aeryn had seen dogs by now, sure, but that was still enough to get a confused, "Is that a bad thing...?" out of her.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Only if you're not feeling too attached to your internal organs," Robert Benchley said. "Or if you love dogs to death. Your death, that is. Haha."

[imnotgoodatnice.livejournal.com]

"If you're threatening me with dogs, your delivery could use some work," Aeryn said.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"The only threat here is your fashion sense," Robert Benchley said. "It would look great on stage during a Darby Donovan play, which isn't a compliment."

[imnotgoodatnice.livejournal.com]

"What the frell is a Darby Donovan?" It had to be asked eventually.

She was ignoring the bit about her fashion sense. Black leather was always in, okay.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"You sweet summer child. I wish I had your ignorance," Robert Benchley said.

[imnotgoodatnice.livejournal.com]

"Do you get hit very often?" Aeryn wondered.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Well, I am a hit in newspapers and films across the country," Robert Benchley said.

[imnotgoodatnice.livejournal.com]

"Uh huh."

Look at Aeryn not believing that at all!

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Do yourself a favor. Don't be a Darby Donovan," Robert Benchley suggested.

[imnotgoodatnice.livejournal.com]

"Still don't know who that is," Aeryn said, shaking her head.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Which you should be glad for," Robert Benchley said. They were entering a vicious cycle, yes.

[imnotgoodatnice.livejournal.com]

"Right, can I just get my coffee?" Aeryn said.

Thank god she didn't know about Google or she'd be looking up Darby Donovan.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

She would find nothing helpful. Apparently there are a lot of real Darby Donovan's out there.

"If you think you can get reasonable service, be my guest."

[imnotgoodatnice.livejournal.com]

Aeryn stepped to the front of the line and ordered, "Small black coffee" just to screw with him.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"That has as much flair as Darby Donovan's last theatrical mistake," Robert Bemchley said. "Which is to say none."

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

Kenzi was... Kenzi.

She had a phone. And she knew crazy when she saw it.

But if anyone asked, she was some L.A. director named Kenzi Romanov, and that's why she was filming you! Yes! She was doing it for Art!

Or lols.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

This wasn't crazy. This just a man havi a legitimate issue with a local business and a New York playwright.

"What do you hae there, some kind of toy camera?" Robert Benchley asked. He was from the 1930s, he didn't know what modern phones and cameras were like.

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"Ahhh, it's, cutting edge? Trial photography?" Kenzi made a little click sound with her tongue as she held it up to her face. Taking your picture! That's all! "I'm from L.A., doing background searching for a new movie! You want to be in movies?"

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Honey, I've already been in movies," Robert Benchley said. "I'm not a stage guy like Darby Donovan."

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"Forgive me! I'm just starting out, you can probably tell," Kenzi said, faking abashment. "I should recognize you, shouldn't I? No, no, don't tell me..."

Or do, as she records this for amusing posterity.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Robert Benchley, of the Algonquin Four, of course," Robert Benchley answered.

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

Benchley no, Algonquin... sorta yes? Look, it's not like they taught Kenzi any 1920's American Classics at this high school.

"Give us a great smile, and tell me, Mr. Benchley, what are you loving about this little island here today?"

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Mostly the fact that I don't have to hear the name Darby Donovan while I'm here," Robert Benchley said, raising his cup of coffee and giving a smile."

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Seriously, I love it here. You're all undisturbed snowflakes," Robert Benchly said. "Darby Donovan's work would turn you into yellow snow. Don't be yellow snow."

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww." Kenzi made a grossed-out face. "Noted. Very much. Have you been to Caritas yet?"

And seen the zombies?

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Of course. And I drank so much I forgot everything about it and some of Darby Donovan's lesser works, so don't remind me," Robert Benchley said.

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"Man with a plan," Kenzi concurs with a grin. "Devil's Nest has fewer teenagers and more bloodsucking fiends, FYI."

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"So that's where I'll go if I need to find my agent. He'll fit in with the other bloodsucking fiends," Robert Benchley said.