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Luke's, Monday

If you asked the kitchen staff, Eliot was being particularly insufferable about the state of the kitchen, today. If you asked Eliot, he was absolutely not insufferable and also definitely not nervous about teaching his first ever actual class that wasn't part of a con tomorrow shut up.

So, you know, it was really pleasant in the diner, today.

Today's specials
Chicken paprikash
Stuffed tomatoes with rice
Cinnamon lemon cookies
NOW HIRING! MOST SHIFTS AVAILABLE!

Luke's was open.

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The waitstaff had no particular opinion about the relative levels of sufferability in the kitchen.

He could probably use the distraction.

There was now a Parker on top of a shelf. "That's not how Eliot chops stuff," she told the staff. "Faster! Mush!"

The cook let out a startled shriek and narrowly missed slashing the busboy with his flailing knife hand.

Eliot just rolled his eyes at the cook and sighed. "Settling in okay?"

"I put most of the furniture outside." It was now out in the alley, and the back entrance. "The last guy had some cool stuff stuck in the couch, I kept that."

She gave the cook a narrow-eyed look. "Jumpy."

"Lurky!" the cook shot back, now clutching the knife protectively to his chest.

"Get used to it, man." Eliot was the opposite of helpful here, yes. "She lives upstairs now. What kinda 'cool stuff' in the couch?"

Parker produced a rather large knife, which probably didn't help the kitchen staff relax any; and what looked like some kind of carved stake with interesting decorations on it. Where she produced them from was open for debate.

"You could use this on Sterling, the next time we run into him!"

Absolutely all of them, including Eliot, backed up a step at Parker holding a large knife. The kitchen staff then kept backing up. Eliot folded his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at the weaponry.

". . . The knife or the stake?"

As far as he knew Sterling wasn't actually a vampire. But he wouldn't put it past the guy.

"Depends on what he tries to rope us into." Parker was still holding a grudge about the last time. She gave the staff a curious look, then shrugged and descended from the shelf. "We need cake," she informed the room.

"Is that a royal we?" the busboy asked. "Is she a princess?"

Eliot ignored him. "Why do we need cake?"

"The class!" Duh! "How are we going to motivate them if the cake is a lie?" Parker giggle-snorted, because Hardison had taught her that one. HEE.

He'd had that damn song on a loop for at least a week. "Pretty sure most teachers go with grades and stern looks." Not that that had worked all that well back when he was in high school. "We're not feeding them cake every week."

There was a whole class already devoted to doing that, after all.

Parker got a mulish look. "That's how Archie taught me stuff. Ice cream sundaes and treats." She looked thoughtful, finally putting down the knife and wandering over to open the fridge. "Or we could just use money."

"Really," Eliot said. "You're going to give someone else your money."

Even if Eliot used his, he could just see Parker deciding the students hadn't done well enough and she got to keep it all instead.

"Not my money! Are you crazy?" Parker slammed the freezer shut to glower at him. "The school gives us school supplies, right? We'll just tell them we need it."

"Yeah, that means stuff like pens and construction paper, Parker." And apparently rappelling harnesses. "Not cash."

And again, there was the whole "Parker decides the kids didn't work hard enough and keeps the money for herself" thing.

"So we're back to cake. And cookies." Parker made a there-you-go gesture, then frowned at the kitchen crew. "What are you waiting for? Mush! Sugar! Students can't learn without it!"

"That's not --" Why did he even bother? "Can we at least save it for special occasions? Like midterms?"

Oh god, they were going to have to plan midterms.

"But I like cake." Parker was glaring at him. "I don't know if they'd work as hard for M&M's. Wait, midterms? What are those?"

"It's a test in the middle of the semester to make sure the students are actually learning things," Eliot explained. "There's another one at the end. That's how students are usually motivated."

Or, you know, not motivated. As the case may be.

"That's stupid. Why would they even show up for those?"

Parker certainly wouldn't.

"Besides. Creative Problem-Solving. I think food is creative."

"Because otherwise they fail." He was going to have to give Parker a whole crash course on modern schooling, wasn't he. "And yes, making food is creative. And eating both can and should be a treat. But if you treat them every time it's not special anymore. It stops being motivation and just becomes, I dunno, boring."

"Oh." That was a very good point. "...so we have to trick them. Sometimes the cake is a lie!"

"Or we could just not tell them there's cake every class. Instead of lying to them."

"I like my idea better," Parker sulked. "...are you going to need chaining up tonight?"

Kitchen staff, get used to this.

The kitchen staff was now pretending not to be listening in.

The mutters of "kinky" were a good indication of how bad they were at this.

". . . No." The increased aggravation could all be traced back to Parker being on the island, after all.

"You're sure? 'Cause Hardison said he could be here if you were going to need help, and I think I need him to outvote you on the class."

"Hardison doesn't get a vote on the class. And he sure as hell isn't chaining me up!"

"Fiiine. But you better be in manacles when I check on you later."

Sometime. You won't know when. No one expects the Parker Inquisition.

"...you, staff people. CAKE!"

And when that happened, Eliot would do his best to calmly remind Parker that the actual werewolf had mentioned chaining himself up probably wouldn't be necessary.

The cook leaned slowly towards Eliot, eying Parker suspiciously. "Is she the boss now? Do we have to listen to her?"

"No," Eliot said. "And yes. She carries a taser."

Part of my 2015 goals is to learn how to meal-plan like an adult.

Today's specials may or may not be what I'm eating for dinner for the next two days. . . .

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Luke's, Monday

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OOC