Dite's Decadent Delights, Friday

[myownface]

Yeah, Sparkle was in a pretty good mood, today. Conversation in class yesterday had gotten a little more real than he was expecting it to in an independent studies class where he'd decided to direct his own musical, but that wasn't a bad thing at all. There was something about real that was reassuring around here, where even everyday horrors tended to meet with happy endings.

... Which was altogether a weird train of thought to be following while surrounded by a shipment of glittery silicone toys, but the mind worked in mysterious ways, and all.

Whatever. He was whistling as he set up a display, anyway. Happy Friday.

[OOC: Open, but flying without OCD today! I'll be around to thread pretty much anytime, but anything that requires digging up NWS links is going to obviously have to wait until I'm not at work.]

Comments

[princessarcasm]

It had taken a lot of motivation to get Amy to leave the house today. It was cold, okay.

But she stopped by bright and early anyway, because: "Hi, sorry, I think I left my sweater in here?"

Sure enough, there it was. She picked it up, looking embarrassed. "I'm Amy. I'm the new employee."

[myownface]

Sparkle gave Amy a quick once-over, and then shot her a grin and nodded. She knew how to dress herself. She could stay.

"Hey," he greeted her, shoving a box of bright-blue light-up god-only-knows-because-even-he-didn't off to the side and standing up to offer her a handshake. "It's about time we get some new blood in here. I'm Sparkle. Student council president. And, um, the guy who busted the tail off of the cock, there."

Yes, he was gesturing to the giant metal rooster.

"Oops."

[princessarcasm]

Amy had to say she liked his style too! Plus she was pretty sure Shane was going to freak when he heard that she knew a guy named Sparkle.

Amy returned the handshake, then turned to note the absence of the rooster's tail. "Oh, yeah, so you did. How'd that happen?"

Because she was impressed, was all. And she wasn't even normally into destruction.

[myownface]

Sparkle's smile was almost sheepish, then.

"I might have been dancing? Um. With the rooster."

As you do.

"And he fell. I've been trying to get the tail back on since, but I'm not exactly a welder or anything, and it's heavy, you know?"

[princessarcasm]

"Dancing with a metal rooster. Sure," Amy said, sounding pretty unfazed. "I could give it a shot, probably. I'm not a welder, really, but I've watched a guy weld before. But he was trying to impress my friend, though? So I'm not sure if his technique was spot-on or what."

She was rambling. Sorry.

[myownface]

Aw, Amy. It wasn't like Sparkle was going to judge anybody for rambling, here. He shot her an easy grin, and gave his shoulders a shrug.

"I keep meaning to drag him in to that... Stark? Sparkys? There's a place in town that does repairs to things, but it changes hands a lot, I don't even know who runs it anymore. I'm mostly just picturing their faces when I come in dragging a five-foot-tall metal rooster with no tail, all, like, 'Hey? Fix this?' I wouldn't want you to burn off your eyebrows or something. Those are important."

[princessarcasm]

"Yeah, I'm pretty attached to them."

Lame joke, Amy. Really lame.

"Worse comes to worst, you could always give them a call and make the case that there are only two stores in town that fix, you know, cocks." Well, two that she knew of, anyway. Unless the clinic counted? "Solidarity and all that."

[myownface]

"Just ring them up and be all, 'help, my cock is busted?'" Sparkle let out a little whoop of a cackle, and then clapped his hands. "Perfect. Shit, I might do that anyway just because."

See, he already liked you, new kid.

[princessarcasm]

Amy grinned. "Let me know how that works out." Partly because she might need to be the one to pick up the repaired cock. "And whether they decide it's just a bad prank call."

Please, Amy. Sparkle would only make the best prank calls.

[myownface]

And he'd do it with flair, too!

"Around here? Even odds that even the prank calls are true, anyway. Like, I'm sure they have a betting pool by now, you know?"

[princessarcasm]

"I have this mental image now of a refrigerator actually running," Amy said. "You think people who get prank calls around here check every time just to be safe?"

[myownface]

"... I'd be tempted to," Sparkle admitted. "Like, I mean, some weird shit has happened around here. I have this cat, okay? And he literally fell from the sky in a red and yellow ball, like in that Pocket Monsters game. Fandom's pretty messed up."

[princessarcasm]

"Shit." That was pretty weird, yes. "I dunno if I'd take a cat that fell from the sky," Amy said thoughtfully. "How'd you know it wasn't gonna attack you after being cooped up in one of those things?"

[pasunereveuse.livejournal.com]

All right. So if this was to be happening on a regular basis (and it did seem like it might be, and she was really rather pleased about that), Celia figured she ought to do some research on these...baby-prevention things. And so she had furtively read up on the Wikipedia entry in the library (while trying to hide the screen so no one could see), and that had at least yielded a bit of information. And of course she'd had a rather...hands on look at things, before, as well, but she didn't feel entirely knowledgable. Not to mention that she still wasn't sure if she even had other options available.

Maybe she should have taken that dreadfully embarrassing-sounding class, after all. Then she'd have a better idea.

And really, she'd stalled as long as possible on coming into this mortifying shop, but if she was going to learn more, then she had to venture into the field to do so. Going into a shop didn't mean that she was declaring herself some sort of harlot, after all. It just meant she was going into a shop! People went into shops all the time! It didn't mean anything!

She still kept the hood of her cloak up when she ducked in, in the hopes that whoever was here might not recognize her. All she wanted was to look at the condoms and be on her merry way, after all. No need to make a fuss. (And really, the hood was the least she could do. She'd toyed with the idea of changing her entire appearance, but that seemed to be more hassle than it was worth, especially when she was hoping not to know anyone here, anyway.)

...except that she had forgotten that her school-appointed big sibling worked here. Damn it. Maybe she could still escape his notice if she kept her head down while she shuffled around and tried to locate the prophylactics? Because surely Sparkle had tons of friends who ran around in 19th century clothes. No reason for her to stick out at all.

[myownface]

It was a nice thought, Celia, but who did you think was going to be ringing your purchases in, today?

Anyway, Sparkle was looking up and grinning once he realized who was in the store.

"Hey! Here for a little something educational, Celia?"

He'd read that broadcast. He wasn't going to easily forget it.

[pasunereveuse.livejournal.com]

NO ONE SAID IT WAS A GOOD PLAN, SPARKLE.

Celia jerked her head up, trying not to look crestfallen that she had been figured out so quickly, and then just sort of sighed and slid her hood off. "Hello, Sparkle," she said, looking guilty as could be. "I -- what in god's name are those?"

Her embarrassment could wait; he had glittery blue things and it was such a mistake to come in here.

[myownface]

"I have no fucking clue," Sparkle admitted, picking one up and giving it a shake. "But they light up, and they're jiggly, so it's probably something way too expensive for what it's claiming it'll do."

A beat.

"I think this one kind of looks like a crocodile? But that might be me trying too hard. My running theory right now is that someone got carried away trying to make a fancier dildo."

[pasunereveuse.livejournal.com]

Celia's face was going to freeze this way, but at least she knew that term from her day of educational videos.

"Why would you need one that lit up?" she finally asked, mildly.

[myownface]

"I dunno," Sparkle replied with a shrug. "Like, it isn't like you can't find where you're going down there even in the dark, right?"

He was super helpful.

"I dunno, I think it's mostly just for showing off. Maybe some people just like playing with flashy toys?"

Literally flashy toys. Like a little rave down there.

[pasunereveuse.livejournal.com]

"I think I'd find it distracting," Celia offered. Of course you would, Celia. She did at least venture over to gently prod one of the toys with her fingertip, watching it jiggle. "They're not very true to anatomy, are they? But I suppose I see what...someone would do with one."

And that was way more than she'd acquiesce if it'd been anyone else in here. Sparkle just was so comfortable with everything that she couldn't help at least feeling a bit more at ease looking at these toys, if not wholly in the store herself. "Oh, that one does kind of look like a little crocodile, too. I see it."

[myownface]

And, see? That's why Sparkle loved working here. If it meant people were less likely to turn white and run out the door again upon stepping in, he'd done his job!

"For a lot of people, it being true to the anatomy isn't a good thing, you know? Dicks just freak some people out." He gave the one he was holding another jiggle, and then put it into the box again. "I'm guessing it wasn't glittery light-up things that you came in here for, though, huh?"

[pasunereveuse.livejournal.com]

And Celia was back to being incredibly embarrassed just to be here -- not so much that she was going back to hiding in her cloak again, but still. Her spine straightened again, and her cheeks were already beginning to pinken.

"No, it very much wasn't," she admitted, as poised as she could under the circumstances. "D'you...do you sell, um." She waved her hand in a way that wasn't especially helpful, especially since she knew the answer to her own question, but if she asked it this way maybe it would be less obvious that she wasn't just asking for a friend, or something! "...condoms, here?"

[myownface]

A little smirk was the only indication that Sparkle was amused by how hard she was trying to keep her cool, here. Look, he could behave himself if he wanted to.

"You know, we do? We actually have, like, a variety, though I'm guessing you probably don't want anything too fancy, huh? Ever get the run-down on how to use 'em?"

[pasunereveuse.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Celia said very quickly, blushing even harder now. "What d'you mean there's a variety? How much variety could there be in a...thing like that?"

There weren't exactly a lot of spots for bells and whistles, she thought.

[myownface]

"Textures and flavours and whether they come already lubricated, that sort of thing," Sparkle explained with a shrug. "I had this one that tasted like root beer once? Weirdest thing."

... Well, she'd asked.

"You're probably going to want to get lube, too, if you're getting condoms. Water-based, trust me on this, but it'll make things go, um, better. Here, I can hook you up. Doesn't even have to taste like root beer, you know? And hey, don't look so antsy about this, okay? Using them means you're not being stupid, and that's nothing to be ashamed of."