Luke's, Thursday

[vdistinctive]

It wasn't that Eliot hadn't listened to the radio as usual, this morning. It was just that he didn't really buy it.

"I mean, come on," he told the kitchen staff. "I've trained under the greatest grifter in the world. Plus, you know, there's the whole professional criminal thing. I can lie like breathing. It's literally what I do, when I'm not beating the crap out of people." He took a deep breath. "Goddammit."

This freaking island.

He should probably just go back home and refuse to come out until he could lie properly again. Instead, he stayed in the kitchen, taking his frustration out on a cutting board full of vegetables. "Admittedly, it's kinda freeing. I mean, what's the one place I could say something like 'I was the top enforcer for an international criminal empire, but it's okay 'cause I'm a good guy now' and get believed? I mean, other than to my actual team of fellow unrepentant 'good guy' criminals. Why are you guys all huddled in the corner?"

The cook and the dishwasher pushed the busboy forward. "You're, uh," the busboy said. "Kind of way more terrifying than usual, today. Could you please put the knife down?"

Eliot looked from them to the knife in his hand, to the cutting board where all the vegetables were now not so much chopped as minced. "Nah," he said. "I'll just take it with me. I refuse to use a gun on principle, but I like having knives around. Even though I actually really rarely stab anyone." He looked back up at the kitchen staff. "I totally haven't killed anyone in, like, three years, guys. Calm down."

Today's specials
Chopped salads
Now hiring!
Seriously, people, we have, like, one employee
who's not NPC kitchen staff.

Luke's was open. Honest.

Comments

Mod your service

[vdistinctive]

The server honestly recommends not ordering that burger. Meat is murder, you know? Do you know how factory farming works?

Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

He promises to do his best not to terrify you/gross you out. He just really does think some of his war stories are hilarious.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[justlurkinghere]

Derek sniffed at the air delicately as soon as he was in the building. In case someone had gone out and bought himself some wolfsbane.

Then settled in to frown at the specials.

"A salad is only good if you put a steak on it." Nope, hadn't realized what today was yet.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"Or as a side dish," Eliot agreed. "But the cook's still hidin' from me and refusing to use the oven, and I chopped the hell out of some vegetables earlier when I realized I really couldn't lie to anyone today, so chopped salads are what we got."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[justlurkinghere]

"...it's one of those days." THIS WAS HORRIBLE.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"This has happened BEFORE?!" No one had warned Eliot about this one!

Re: Talk to Eliot

[justlurkinghere]

"Yes. It's only a day and it's terrible."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"You think everything is terrible," Eliot said. "You're even grumpier'n I pretend to be."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[justlurkinghere]

"I don't think everything is terrible," Derek ground out. "I'm deeply traumatized by the murder of my family."

Yeah, you brought this on yourself, Eliot.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

Eliot was proud of himself for not responding with "I've murdered a few families in my time."

"Yeah," he said instead. "That would probably do it. I'd say you should see a psychiatrist or something but I'm pretty sure the only one on the island is secretly working for an eastern European mafia."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[justlurkinghere]

"I did see him. And now I'm glad I stopped."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"Good plan. I don't know for sure -- and I usually can tell these things -- but I'd say either Latvian or Lithuanian. One's slightly more violent than the other. Neither can hold a candle to the Russian mob, though."

Derek didn't need to know these things, Eliot.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[justlurkinghere]

"I'm more used to dealing with the French. But they're not the mafia, they're people who hunt werewolves." DEREK WOULD HAVE PREFERRED TO STICK WITH THE MAFIA TALK.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

There had been a very odd conversation with the barista at the Perk this morning. And then Parker had called Sophie, and the conversation had gotten odder. And then she'd had to strategize with Sophie, after Sophie stopped laughing.

"Something is Up on this Island."

Parker paused to poke that one busboy back into line when he jumped too high.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"Don't tease the kitchen staff," Eliot chided without any real feeling behind it. "I've probably already traumatized them enough for one day."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Why, what did you tell them? And are you kind of weirdly compelled to tell the truth no matter what too?"

...damn. She had not meant to add that 'too' onto there.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"That I used to kill people a lot." Really, they were just being unreasonable about that. "And yeah, apparently it's a thing that happens here sometimes. I heard about it on the radio, but thought maybe the squirrels were messing with us." He sighed. "Then I had an extremely awkward conversation with Derek to go with the freaking out of the staff."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"He did, but he doesn't any more," Parker told the nearest two cooks. "He's just that good. He can just hurt people a lot."

That probably didn't help, Parker. She sort of realized that, and kept going.

"I never killed anyone but I did stab a couple guys. They had it coming. And I love my taser. So see, Eliot is much nicer than I am."

...or that.

"What did Derek say? I don't trust that guy."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"Not that much nicer," Eliot muttered. "I just have more social skills." The staff here was basically never trusting him again, were they. "Derek said it only lasts for a day. And it's not like he could lie about that. And anyway, Derek's fine. It's Hannibal you gotta watch out for."

Derek was just a dumb, screwed up kid. Who turned into a wolf sometimes. Hannibal was an unknown quantity. Way creepier.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"The shrink? But Doctor Lecter doesn't bite people, does he?"

Parker was giving the busboy a judgey look for the look he was giving Eliot.

"I kind of want to stab Derek for biting you. But I think it would make Pinkie sad."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"Not that I know of," Eliot allowed. Then scowled. "Derek didn't bite me. His dead uncle possessed him and got in a fight with the dead serial killer possessing me."

Had he mentioned the whole ghost possession thing before? Oops.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

".... Why didn't this come up before?" Parker's sharp voice could etch glass. "Did you have to go to the hospital and you didn't tell us? Serial killer? I need to tase somebody. Can I go tase his dead uncle?"

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"Because it was handled." He'd wanted to say 'I handled it', but, well. That wasn't exactly the whole truth, was it. "You know I don't do hospitals. I had -- a guy I know take care of the stuff I couldn't do on my own. And no. Because Derek's dead uncle is dead. Tasers don't work on ghosts, far as I know."

At least, not when the ghost wasn't really dumb and paranoid and convinced that it would.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

Parker was giving you her squinty-eyed look now, Eliot.

"I could say okay and then go find him and tase him anyway. I have a strong instinct to do this. Do you like him more than us?"

OOC

[vdistinctive]

You know, I totally forgot it was honesty day. SO EXCITED.