The Devil's Nest, Thursday Evening

[justlurkinghere]

Of course a weird day would happen when Derek had to bartend. Of course. But into work he went this evening, glaring at Tiny on his way in.

Not because Tiny said anything, but just on principle.

"I like this island," he grumbled sullenly once he was alone. Worst. Night. Ever.

[OCD free!]

Comments

[locointhecoco]

Pinkie trotted happily into the bar and climbed up on a stool. "Hiya Derek!" she greeted. "How's it hanging?"

Then she burst into giggles. "I read that on the internets. Isn't it silly? Like what is even hanging in that sentence? Idioms are weird!"

[because aggressively honest Pinkie had to happen somewhere.]

[justlurkinghere]

WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS TO HIM?

"How are you on the internet? I don't understand how you manage anything with hooves."

[locointhecoco]

"I made the school buy me a giant keyboard when I first started here," Pinkie said. "It takes up most of my office. But also sometimes I can hold and type things with my mane or my tail, so that's usually what I end up doing now, because that keyboard is really big."

[justlurkinghere]

"I want a keyboard like that. It sounds like fun."

Ruining his image as a grumpy bad boy here. Ruining it.

[locointhecoco]

Pinkie grinned brightly. "You should come by my office then! We can have a giant keyboard dance party! That's how you type on it. By dancing. Or it's how I type on it, anyway. I'm actually really deeply strange, even for a pony."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek could not say 'I don't think you're strange' here, because that would be a lie. Because she was a pink, cartoon, talking pony. WHICH WAS STRANGE.

"Everyone is strange here. It's the island of misfit people."

[locointhecoco]

That was alright, Pinkie didn't actually need reassurance about her strangeness. It was part of her charm.

"Is it? It's really hard for me to tell. All humans seem pretty bizarre to me, still."

[justlurkinghere]

"I'm a werewolf, so I'm probably not the right person for reassurance on normal."

[locointhecoco]

"You mean humans who turn into wolves aren't normal? I never would have guessed!" On anyone else on any other day, that would sound sarcastic. "This is so much fun! I'm gonna get to learn so much!"

[justlurkinghere]

"You are so innocent about things and that's why I work with you all the time."

It was refreshing.

[locointhecoco]

"Awww," Pinkie blushed. Like, her cheeks turned the same shade of pink as her mane. She didn't do that often! "I really like working with you," she said. "Your grumpiness helps me reign in my almost overwhelming enthusiasm."

[justlurkinghere]

"You help me remember how to have fun in public." Because he could relax easier in private now.

[locointhecoco]

The squeal Pinkie let out may have cracked some of the glasses behind the bar.

And possibly Derek's ear drums.

"That's the nicest thing any human has ever said to me!!"

She lived to get people to have fun.

[justlurkinghere]

"I think my eardrums ruptured."

It was only fleeting, sadly. Damn his healing.

[locointhecoco]

"omigosh," Pinkie gasped, dropping her voice to a whisper. "is there anything I can do to help?"

Did that happen every time she made that noise? WHY HADN'T HE SAID ANYTHING BEFORE?

[justlurkinghere]

HE WAS BEING NICE AND NOT TELLING THE TRUTH BEFORE.

"No, it heals quickly."

[locointhecoco]

"Oh good," Pinkie said, melting slightly on the barstool. (Not literally, because gross.) "I'm going to try real hard not to do that again but I can't guarantee it. Sometimes those noises just come out of me."

[justlurkinghere]

"I know and that's why I don't normally say anything."

BECAUSE OF FRIENDSHIP.

[locointhecoco]

"That's probably for the best, since I would just feel bad more often, but you're really supposed to tell your friends when sometimes they do things that hurt you. At least once, so they can try not to do it on purpose."

[justlurkinghere]

"That's fair," was something Derek would normally never say. But say it he did.

[locointhecoco]

"You should come with me to Equestria sometime. My friends would have so much to teach you about friendship!"

It was magic, you know.

[justlurkinghere]

"I think I'd stand out a lot there." Being human shaped and all.

[locointhecoco]

"You are pretty funny-looking," Pinkie said. "But my friends who haven't come visit yet are really excited to meet you. Humans are kind of hard to describe."

Twilight, for instance, probably thought you had tentacles.

[justlurkinghere]

HE DID NOT HAVE TENTACLES.

"I can turn into a wolf, now. So maybe I could go like that."

Of course, he couldn't talk as a wolf. Though, that might be for the best.

[locointhecoco]

YEAH, WELL, YOU TRY DESCRIBING FINGERS TO CREATURES THAT HAD NEVER ENCOUNTERED THEM.

"Fluttershy would really love that!" Pinkie enthused. "She really likes all the furry animals. Even the creepy or gross ones. Not that your wolf form would be creepy and gross. I bet it's very pretty! Can I see it?"

[justlurkinghere]

"...not right now because I have to take my clothing off and that would be too awkward."

[locointhecoco]

"Really? Why?"

Pinkie was almost never wearing clothes.

[justlurkinghere]

"Why do I wear clothes? Because casual nudity bothers people."

Look, canon tells us that Derek would clearly be a nudist if he could. What do you mean that's not true? Yeah. Well. The show sucks, so nyah.

[locointhecoco]

". . . Why?"

It was like talking to a two year old.

[justlurkinghere]

"Humans are strange?" This was true.

[locointhecoco]

"Darn tootin'!" You were preaching to the choir here, Derek.

[justlurkinghere]

"Maybe next class I'll come as a wolf." And drag frosting bags around. With his teeth.

[locointhecoco]

Yessssss.

"Ooo! We can do a fuzzy animal theme! Can you make cakes look fuzzy? Oh who am I kidding. I could make a cake look like anything. I was trained by the best, you know."

The Cakes were so good, their name was "Cake".

[justlurkinghere]

"You are really good at it," Derek replied. "With the hooves and all."

[locointhecoco]

"Hooves are way more useful than everyhuman seems to think," Pinkie observed. "But also I use my mouth."

So hygenic!