fandomtownies | Luke's, Tuesday

She's a bit frazzled. But can be talked into a dessert for you.

Fooooooooood.

Parker had ordered pretzels. Big soft ones with gooey cheese. And a drink. Crunchiness helped. So did the text she'd sent Hardison a little while ago.

"So bases. Does this have anything to do with that time you were the catcher?"

Eliot choked on his beer. And wished it was whiskey. "No."

How was this his life?

"The bases thing -- it's one of those stupid teenage metaphor things. They can't just outright say 'I felt her up' in class, so they say they got to second base."

Edited 2015-02-17 18:47 (UTC)

"Why can't they just say it?" Okay. She could do this. It was a code. "So first base is kissing? Wait. You said they could feel each other up in class!"

Ahahahahahahahahhahaha!

"'Cause most schools aren't Fandom," Eliot said. "It's four Fs." He held up fingers as he counted them off. "French, feel, finger, fuck. First, second, third, and homebase."

When Parker was done cackling, she took a long slurp of her drink. Ahem. Okay. "So what would the pitcher do?"

Messing with Eliot: always a hobby!

"Gives it to the catcher," Hardison said from the doorway. "Ain't that right, Eliot?"

Okay, so by all rights, he should have been out of breath and bitching about all the damn stairs he'd had to climb just to get here. But ever since leaving the Causeway (where he'd had to leave Lucille 4.0 parked and if she even got scratched he was gonna raise hell, yes sir), Hardison had just been feeling good. Really good.

And now that he was seeing Parker and Eliot, he was feeling even better. "Hey beautiful," he said, sauntering over to slide next to Parker. "In the mood for pretzels?"

Oh goody, Hardison was here. Eliot was back to staring at the ceiling again. "Look who finally made it up the stairs."

"HARDISON!" Teleport! Or something close to it. GLOMP. "YES." That could've been an answer to the question, or just a general statement to the universe.

"Lookit you, girl," Hardison said, giving Parker a very-happy-to-see-her grin. WHY HADN'T HE VISITED HERE BEFORE THIS PLACE WAS WONDERFUL. "Damn, girl. Just damn."

There were other words he could have said ("For the Horde!"), but this was a public place and Hardison hadn't been on the island long enough for that to stop mattering.

"And, hello, Eliot," he added. "Yes, I finally made it up your hazardous stairs. You know OSHA would have a field day with this place, right? No handicap accessible locations, no railings. This place is a death trap, man. Pretty sure my asthma flared up."

Because even sex pollen couldn't stop Hardison from bitching.

Seriously? Now Hardison's bitching was hot? The hell, Fandom? Well, not the bitching itself, but the particular idea of how he could stop it. . . .

"Warned you, didn't I?" he said instead. "There was a guy with no legs around here for awhile, you know. Didn't hear him complaining."

Admittedly that was mostly because Eliot never really spoke to him.

HARDISON WAS HERE. LET THE CAMPAIGN BEGIN! AGAIN!

Parker calmed down enough to actually listen to the conversation, and nuzzled at Hardison's jaw. Not something she would usually do in public, but he was HERE. "I am so glad you're here. We can do things!" Like plans! "Maybe you can figure out a zipline or an escalator or something. But first, I have a bed right upstairs here!"

And they could go there! And drag other people there!

"I have pretzels. Yes! Come and eat some!"

"You know I won't never turn you down when you're in the mood for pretzels," Hardison said. They would forever be his favorite food, even edging out gummi frogs, because they'd been the only way that Parker could admit to her feelings for him.

Pretzels were sacred, man. Sacred.

"Wait, did you say bed?" Because even pretzels could be put on hold for the right reasons...

Wait, no. He was supposed to be...supposed to be...there was probably something he should be doing that wasn't dragging Parker upstairs. Or inviting Eliot to come with them.

Wasn't there?

"And, let me guess. You had plans on how to take that poor guy out, didn't you?" He was going to stall for a few moments while he tried to remember what he had to do that was more important than take Parker upstairs. Or in the back room. Or whatever. "Poor dude, ain't got no legs, probably has a damn-near heart attack anytime he's gotta get someplace on this island, and you had a plan on how to take him down. Didn't you?"

"You'd be surprised what a guy with no legs can get up to." Especially one with a psychotic man-eating alien symbiot attached. Not that Eliot had known about that part. Though he had had a very interesting conversation with said psychotic man-eating alien symbiot once.

It'd been an odd day.

"Upstairs. And look, there are these soft pretzels with cheese."

Maybe cheese could be a code word for Eliot? Hmmm.

"Eliot was telling me about bases. But we hadn't gotten to the outfield yet."

No, no, Eliot was still a samurai. Okay.

"We had class today and the students were distracted."

Much like Parker!

"And Eliot kept staring at the ceiling then, too." What was up with that?

Look, he loved Parker, he really did. But sometimes she was hard to follow, especially when he was lacking the proper context.

"Y'all were playing baseball in class today?" he asked, very lost. "I thought you were teaching useful things."

Yeah, that was directed to you, Mr. I-Hate-Any-Sport-You-Can't-Score-On-Defense-Oops-Wait-I-Heart-Baseball-My-Bad.

"Lemme guess, the sim get stuck or something?"

BEING GOOD AT IT DIDN'T MEAN HE LIKED IT. He just liked being good at things.

"Go-carts," Eliot said. "They raced go-carts. Parker's talkin' about baseball metaphors for sexual activities because I happened to mention getting to second base."

In class in front of a bunch of teenagers. Today wasn't Eliot's best day ever.

"Oh really?" This was Hardison's intrigued face. It sounded like their grand scheme was doing better than he'd thought! "You should keep explaining. You know I never played baseball? I think I could use a refresher course."

"Sure." That glare, Hardison? Meant Eliot loved you. "Let me go get a baseball bat."

"You know, have you ever thought what kind of emotions you might be sublimating into violent urges in my direction?"

Actually yes. And then he studiously ignored them. "The hell are you talkin' about? This is our shtick."

Parker nodded, resting her shin on Hardison's shoulder. "The explanation was very helpful." Then she whispered low enough that Eliot maybe couldn't hear: "And after that I was just messing with him." Heh. "But that still doesn't explain why you keep staring up at the ceiling."

Of course he could hear, he was Eliot.

"Hey, man, why can't our shtick be, like, easy Sunday mornings and late night WoW raids and stuff?" he asked, his arm sliding across Parker's waist and pulling her in tighter. He just needed her all up close to him now. "I mean, we're gonna be neighbors, man! Just think! Neighbors! Aren't you excited?"

Surprise!

Talk to Kenzi

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OOC