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Luke's, Tuesday Afternoon

With the upstairs still smelling like sawdust and therefore bad for his asthma, Hardison had moved down to the diner to continue putting together information about their upcoming job. That, at least, had been his plan--right now he was watching an impromptu limbo competition that the kitchen staff had set up. They were using a spit big enough to roast an ox for a limbo bar. Those who had already fallen were given Carmen Miranda-style fruit hats to wear.

"Y'all are very weird," Hardison mumbled, shaking his head and trying to concentrate.
Today's Specials
Brown Sugar and Pineapple-Glazed Ham
Caribbean Fish Stew
Coconut Lemon Mousse Cake

Luke's was open and very festive!

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That's cool. Hardison has work to do.

Nobody respects the work he does

Eliot paused to watch the limbo contest as he came in. "They still on that, huh?"

"I don't even know, man," Hardison said, looking back over at the staff. There were a lot more Carmen Miranda hats now, but the busboy and the head cook were still locked in limboing competition. "Wait, you knew about this and didn't warn me?"

"Yesterday was bikinis and grass skirts." Eliot shrugged. "It was on the radio, man. Pay attention."

"The radio? Who listens to radio anymore?" This was more of Eliot's refusal to join the 21st century wasn't it? "That's like watching network TV, commercials and all."

"I don't own a TV." He hadn't even made it that far into the 20th century. "The radio broadcasts what everyone on the island did all day, assumin' they haven't hid it from the squirrels."

Aren't you glad you moved to the island, Hardison?

"You need to back up," Hardison said, unsure whether Eliot was messing with him or they were honestly living in some squirrel-ridden Panopticon. "And then tell me what you meant by that, but with less crazy."

Eliot snorted. "'Round here, you don't really get around the crazy. There's a podcast, too, man, look up, uh, WTFH." He nodded to Hardion's computer. "It's usually only barebones, and they're squirrels, so they get it wrong a lot, but it's a useful enough source of intel."

"Squirrels," Hardison repeated. "Little gray things, bushy tails, can't read or write or speak?"

He needed to make sure he was getting this right.

"Those are the ones," Eliot said. "Apparently they're into rum."

He had no sympathy for you Hardison. None. He had to do this part all by himself when he first got here.

"Speaking of, how much have you been drinking today?"

Not that he assumed the two were related! Really! But come on--reporter squirrels? Seriously?

"I ain't drinkin' before a job." Eliot scowled. "What am I, Nate?"

"Hey man," Hardison said, raising his hands up to his chest. "You're the one coming in here and telling me that the island's infested with tiny little reporter squirrels. You can't blame me for being skeptical!"

And obviously he wasn't Nate. Eliot wasn't as mean. Nobody out-meanned a drunk Nate.

"I'm putting the last of the presentation together," he added. "We should be able to roll it as soon as Parker's ready."

"You showed up in the middle of a week of sex pollen, Hardison. After an attack of flying eels. But no, reporter squirrels are too much for you." Eliot huffed and leaned back rubbing his head. "God, it'll be good to get back to the real world for a bit."

"Where there are roads instead of staircases," Hardison agreed, foregoing the explanation of just how sex pollen was easier to understand than talking squirrels. "And people don't have naked vampires hiding in their attics."

Oh, was he supposed to have stopped giving Eliot crap about that by now? Oops.

"I didn't know she was hiding in the attic. I figured she went home!"

"I like that that's what throws you and not the part where she's a damn vampire." Hardison gestured towards Eliot with a gummi frog. "You know nothing good can come from messin' with the undead, right? There are like a million movies explaining why having a vampire girlfriend is a terrible idea."

"We had sex once." A beat. "More than once. One night. She's not my girlfriend. And honestly, after evil carnivals and possessing ghosts and shit, vampires are pretty easy."

Navaan would like to make it clear that she was easy even before those things, too.

"More than once huh?" Hardison knew he shouldn't ask. Shouldn't shouldn't shouldn't.

Was gonna anyway.

"That wasn't just a pollen thing, right...?"

"What, that I had drunken sex with a vampire all night?"

Okay, he might be bragging a little, now.

Eliot was free to continue to brag.

"I'm just trying to figure out if that's a normal thing," he said. "Hard to tell on this island."

Suuuure, that was entirely it.

"The vampire part is totally the island. I don't make a habit of that."

The other part? Well. It wasn't like Hardison didn't know Eliot had endurance.

"He got scratched by a werewolf too. Maybe he's wearing supernatural cologne."

It would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

Hi, guys.

"Seriously? Seriously?!" Hardison was looking back and forth between them, trying not to glare. "Great, so I'll add 'full moons' to times when I won't be outside because I don't wanna be eating by anything supernatural. Good times."

Why had Eliot decided to move here again?

"He was possessed at the time. We both were." Yeah, that didn't answer Hardison's question. "Other'n that, the werewolves have got themselves under control."

"Unlike the ghosts," Parker said to Hardison with a sideways look. See what she meant? See?

"Right," Hardison said, questioning his life choices. "It's the ghosts we have to worry about. Of course. That makes more sense."

It did not.

"Only the psychotic ones. The one they got teachin' up at the school there these days seems alright."

What with him having gotten the psychotic ghost out of Eliot, and all.

Parker frowned. "I didn't meet this one. Did I meet this one?" Eliot, she's supposed to be looking out for you! "Which one is a dead person?"

"I can't even believe we're having this conversation...." Hardison singsonged in an undertone.

"Bob," Eliot said. "Actually met him before he got the job. He was around for the whole possession thing." Fun facts about their fellow teachers! "And don't start complainin' till you've met the pony, Hardison."

Pinkie Pie: brainbreaking rite of Fandom passage since 2011.

"Pinkie is awesome." Fact of the Universe. "I'm going to talk to Bob the next chance I get. And find out if he's like Casper or that girl in that horrible Japanese video living in a well on treacle or whatever she was doing."

"Well as much fun as it is listening to the two of you talk like you've lost your damn minds, shall we go upstairs? For the thing?" Hardison glanced meaningfully at the waitstaff. "You know, that thing that we wall want to do?"

"Wait, now?" Parker hissed, looking happy but confused and a little wild-eyed. "We were gonna wait! Not that I want to wait! But I thought it was gonna be after next week! Did you talk to him about it without me?!"

Eliot's baffled look went from Parker to Hardison and back again.

". . . the job, Parker?"

"No, Parker, I haven't talked about the job with Eliot," Hardison said, asking the lord and all his little angels for patience. "I wouldn't think to start sharing info about the con without you. We're partners, remember? All three of us?"

No, YOU were stressing things weirdly!

A couple years ago all of that would have gone totally over Parker's head. Today she just felt really pleased that Hardison could signal her in front of Eliot and he wouldn't pick up on it.

"Okay! Yes! Good! Count me in. Since. I come up with plans now. It's my thing." She paused, and felt compelled to add, "One of them. But I don't think I'll have to get out of handcuffs on this job."

Just throwing that thought out to muddy the waters, and distract anybody who was paying attention. ~~Eliot.~~

Eliot stared at them a little more, then turned to head for the door to the stairs. "There's somethin' wrong with both of you."

"Yeah, well, we're not the ones who sleep with vampires, are we?" Hardison called after him, gathering up his laptop. "That's right! Done told you, didn't I?"

Also muddying the waters. Eliot would NEVER KNOW.

I wish I were in Mexico right now. I'd take the lack of electronics!

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Luke's, Tuesday Afternoon

Mod Your Diner

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OOC